Son's first good pun for Father's Day
My 7 year old son tries to tell puns, but he's really bad at it. After going to the zoo, he noticed that his right ear was itchy. Upon inspection, we noticed that the skin around his ear was flaking. We discussed if it was a sun burn, but he had been wearing a bucket hat all day. Without missing a beat he said:
I guess it has to be an "ear"itation. He even used air quotes. Proud moment for Father's Day!
Hope you had a great Father's Day as well!
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︎ Jun 20 2021
A thousand years ago, the boomerang was Australia's chief export.
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︎ Jun 30 2021
Archaeologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia
It's going to be quite the shindig
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︎ Jun 06 2021
No one knows what happened to the celebrity firefighter...
Guess he had his 15 minutes of flame.
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︎ Jun 19 2021
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
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︎ May 30 2021
Why did the hotel manager get irritated with a chess team that was celebrating their win in the hotel lobby?
Because he doesn't like chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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︎ Jun 12 2021
Today is Boxing Day in the UK, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. Do you know when Boxing Day is celebrated in the United States?
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︎ Dec 26 2019
Did you hear about the man you set up a shark fishing school in Australia?
It cost him an arm and a leg...
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︎ Apr 21 2021
Did you hear about the Sith apprentice who finally got his printer to work?
I hear the problem was A dam driver.
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︎ Dec 04 2020
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
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︎ Feb 05 2020
Who is the most popular celebrity in Scandinavia?
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︎ Feb 16 2021
What happened to the Baked Beans that went around Australia?
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Day 7: What did the windmill say meeting her favourite celebrity
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Hear the one about the celebrity Italian chef
Last night he just pasta way
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︎ Dec 22 2020
Who was the only celebrity with four body parts in his name?
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︎ Nov 26 2020
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︎ Mar 10 2021
If the cameramen who take photos of celebrities are the paparazzi...
then the cameramen who take photos of poor people are the pauperazzi
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︎ Nov 27 2020
"Hey Dad, what's the capital of Australia?"
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Who were hurt in the bridge collapse in Australia?
The ones that were down under.
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︎ Jan 23 2021
Lunar new year in Vietnam is celebrated with lion dances, dragon dances, fireworks, family gatherings and meals, ancestor worship, and giving red envelopes to children and the elderly.
Thank you for coming to my TαΊΏt talk.
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︎ Feb 06 2021
Who's the most dangerous celebrity?
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︎ Nov 15 2020
Where did the car thieves go to celebrate after a successful robbery?
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︎ Feb 01 2021
Did you know Australia is the world leader in knowledge about cans?
Yeah apparently its full of can-gurus!
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Where did the keys on a computer keyboard went to celebrate new years eve
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︎ Jan 01 2021
So the Pope is very early for his flight.
He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the pope.
Naturally, he's a bit rusty, so he's driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide. He says to the pope "Hold on for a minute," and goes back to his car to radio the chief.
Cop: "Chief we have a situation. I've pulled over an important figure."
Chief: "How important? A governor or something?"
Cop: "No sir. He's bigger."
Chief: "So, what? a celebrity or something?"
Cop: "More important, sir."
Chief: "A major politician?"
Cop: "No sir, he's much more important."
Chief: "WELL WHO IS IT!?"
Cop: "Well actually I'm not sure. But the pope's his driver."
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︎ Jun 22 2021
A Japanese zoo just celebrated the birth of a baby elephant
Before that nobody addressed the elephant in the womb.
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Dwayne Johnson is a master of origami...
As his apprentice, I once assisted him at an exhibition and managed to lose the cutting implement he uses to prepare the paper for folding. I canβt believe I lost The Rockβs Paper Scissors.
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︎ May 14 2021
I went to the candle store to celebrate my cake day...
They were having a blowout sale.
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︎ Aug 13 2020
What did the Railroad Engineer say to his apprentice?
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︎ Nov 23 2019
On the day my friends were hosting my birthday celebration, I had diarrhea.
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︎ Nov 15 2020
What do you call a celebrity that fell down the stairs?
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︎ Jul 19 2020
A pirate wanted to celebrate his captainβs birthday, so he bought a large quantity of balloons while ashore. Back on the ship, he walked over to hand the balloons to the captain, but he tripped and most of them floated away. The captain said, βArrr! That was a costly mistake...β
βWe lost a lot of doubloons.β
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Which celebrity is the worst driver?
Any one of the Car-dashians.
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︎ Aug 01 2020
My wife broke up with me at the star wars celebration. An anakin cosplayer came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and said...
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︎ Sep 28 2020
My family just celebrated the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm!
Yep. It's our bison-tennial.
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︎ Jan 25 2020
A guy was watching the news and saw that a famous celebrity had died. He called his friend to let him know.
Jim: Did you hear that Reece Whats-her-name died while eating a bowl of soup?
Joe: No way! Witherspoon???
Jim: Yes, of course.
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︎ Jul 23 2020
When I was walking down the street, I ran into a celebrity with a Mohawk and jewelry. He looked at me and said, βI piy the fool!β
I said, βHey, you missed a T.β
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︎ Jun 30 2018
After my sonβs team won the soccer tournament, their goalkeeper invited both of us to a party to celebrate.
It was the father, son, and the goalie host.
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︎ May 01 2019
In regards to the toilet paper shortage in Australia
The entire stock - wiped out
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︎ Mar 10 2020
What did the hangman say to his apprentice?
βListen up, Iβm gonna teach you the ropesβ
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︎ Nov 16 2018
The animals in Australia are dangerous
but theyβre the most dangerous in Queensland because they can move in any direction.
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︎ Jul 14 2020
I think when this pandemic is over with, we need to have a day to celebrate truckers, for keeping the country running throughout all this. Maybe October 4th?
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︎ Mar 26 2020
The hottest new celebrity
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︎ Jan 06 2020
A thousand years ago, the boomerang was Australiaβs only export.
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︎ Sep 02 2020
TIL: A thousand years ago, the boomerang was Australiaβs chief export.
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︎ Feb 22 2019
The boomerang is Australia's number one export.
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︎ Jul 23 2020
What happened to the baked beans that took a trip around Australia?
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︎ Sep 04 2020
Yesterday, I ran into a Hollywood celebrity, who kept yelling , βI piy the fool!β
I said, βHey, you missed a T.β
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︎ Feb 14 2020
Thousands of years ago, the boomerang was Australiaβs only export.
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︎ May 04 2020
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