MargarineWalk
Edit: I can’t believe it’s not butterfly.
Annette.
Or the farts you hold in.
I butterfly away
I told her I was just lashing out.
I guess she was a bad pupa.
It was a Moth Ball.
A little rough but becoming a dad takes time. http://imgur.com/qT0gqi2
It was doing the butterfly.
When I saw her kill a butterfly, so to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don’t get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said "Nice try".
What happens when you throw butter up in the air??
Butterflies
So, for Easter, my wife and I got our 2-year-old an array of balloons from a delivery service, including some pre-inflated pieces you could “build your own butterfly” with, etc. It was pretty cool, but coolest of all was this clear balloon pretty tightly inflated with a single penny in it, and if you shook the balloon enough, the penny would eventually find its way to circling the inside of the balloon.
Those balloons lasted for weeks, until today. If you’ve ever seen a clear balloon deflate, you know it gets a little yellow and opaque.
My wife found it laying around and brought it to me, saying, “This looks like a condom with a penny in it.” And I said, “That’s why they call it a money shot.”
Whenever someone asked where the butterfly pea flower tea was, we would say, “Blue tea is in the aisle of the pea holder.”
2: an inside and an outside.
He was also fond of:
What looks like half a butterfly?
The other half.
After being the only one who ate some, I noticed that there were two dead caterpillars on the plate, meaning I likely ate a few of them in the broccoli before noticing.
My fiance, as soon as I told no one else to eat the broccoli because caterpillars, immediately spoke up and said, "Are you nervous about eating those? Because I'm sure your going to have butterflies in your stomach about it later."
I live in South Carolina, sort of near the coast, and Hurricane Florence is headed this way. My two youngest children--total cowards--were helping me clear out all of the storm drains and curb gutters on our street to help the expected 10-20 inches of rain drain as best they can. Any time any insect flies past them, they scream bee and run away screaming. I'm talking like they're afraid of butterflies. My youngest says that Winter is her favorite season because all the bees are dead.
So, we finish up, and I go inside ahead of them, making them put the shovels away, and I hear, from inside, them running and crying/shrieking across the front porch and inside the house.
My youngest, amidst her sobs, says, "It was as big as a baseball" and holds the one I keep on my desk up for comparison.
I think make the B sign in ASL with both of my hands, stand up and say "BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ" at them while they run away in fear, and when the middle child says, "THAT'S NOT FUNNY" I keep moving towards them with my B hands while saying, "DO YOU WANT ME TO JUST LET YOU BEE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
I'm a great dad.
Me and some buddies rented a cabin last week. The plants by the porch attracted a lot of monarch butterflies. As we were watching them a Praying Mantis grabs a hold of one. As we watched the butterfly thrash around in odd quiet reverence I said, "Well, I guess it's an Answered Prayer Mantis now"
One guy told me I was going to be a great Dad.
Okay, punmeisters. I need to come up with as many butterfly-themed name puns, and have run out of ideas.
Here's what I have so far:
Mary Posa (Mariposa=butterfly in Spanish)
Coco Oon (Cocoon)
Poppy Ong (Papillon?)
Larry Va (Larva)
Madame Butterfly/Monsieur Butterfly
...mainly I need at least one more guy's name.
This is for a comic I'm doing where all the henchpeople inexplicably have butterfly names.
DAD: U all ready for your presentation ME: yea but im kinda nervous, feeling the butterflies in my stomach DAD: well you should't have eaten caterpillars then
I was looking forward to all the dad jokes at Benihana last night, and I was not disappointed! (Also, epic onion volcano!)
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Our chef says "Who wants egg roll?" and then rolls an egg across the cooking surface.
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When the chef added butter to the cooking vegetables, he threw his bowl of butter into the air a couple times and said "Look! Butterfly!"
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While prepping the shrimp, he put all the tails on his spatula and asked the 6-year-old at the table "You ordered just tail, right?"
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He put one sesame seed on his spatula, showed it to the 6-year-old and said "Japanese diet!"
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Our chef checks with everyone who ordered steak to see how they want it cooked, then says to the people who ordered chicken "For chicken, everyone want rare?" and then he laughed when one of the girls at the table got really confused.
I'm sure there were more that I can't remember once the sake kicked in.
