Bread is like the Sun
Rises in the yeast, sets in the waist.
What do you call two loaves of bread baked in the same oven?
I guess I know what those philosophers said when they ate bread for the first time
Banana nut bread is the craziest food.
If it ain't bananas, it's nuts.
The loaf of bread I bought today is obsolete.
Why did the baker throw away the bread someone gave him?
Because he didn't knead it!
My daughter wanted to help me make some bread, so she offered to "proof" the dough for me.
"Really?"
"Sure," she said.
"It's the yeast I can do."
I said to my dad "the bread is attacking me"
And my dad said "assult with a breadly weapon!"
What did the German bread say at breakfast?
My wife after our son destroyed some garlic bread and threw the crumbs everywhere,
What a breadful night...
Is she the dad now? Are we both? Either way i sense more socks with Crocs in my future.
What did the toaster say to the bread?
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
True story: I sent my dad a picture of the loaf of bread I made witha bread machine. He instantly responded with :
From my six years daughter: what kind of bread does the sun like?
A heart shaped bread. (she pronounced it "hot" with a heavy British accent). This is her Valentine day joke. I am a proud dad.
What did the revolutionary bread tell the other breads?
We have to rise up, my breadren
I am a proud dad today - my son ask me what this Indian bread on top of the fridge is for
I told him it’s Naan of his business
Edit: he could have replied “papa dumb”
What’s a drug addicts favourite part of decorating the ginger bread house?
I found a funny looking loaf of bread in the water...
Indian flatbread is the best bread there is...
How do German bread makers greet each other at the beginning of the day?
They say "Gluten Morgen!"
What did Homer Simpson say when the bakery ran out of bread?
When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake
I guess that's why they call it window pain.
I go to the store and buy 2 eggs, a loaf of bread, and some milk. The cashier says “you must be single” and I respond with “how did you know?”
She responded, “ because you are ugly!”
What did Elsa say when she ate the spoilt bread?
The mold never bothered me anyway.
Why did the rich man fail at baking bread?
He didn’t knead the dough
why was the man fired from the bread factory?
The other day I saw a large number of bread rolls moving rhythmically to music.
They were doing it in a-bun-dance.
Just got the perfect tool for making a good indian flat bread
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
I can still remember the time I undercooked my French bread.
What’s the fastest bread in the world ?
A while ago, someone forgot their bread at the store. So I ran it out to them and said
“Excuse me sir, I think you focaccia bread!”
I went back in time to kill the person that made bread.
Now he yeasts to exist.
One I came up with myself
Did you hear about the baker who was obsessed with his bread?
He kneaded it all the time.
“Back in the day...” my dad started to say. “You could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a bit of butter as well. But today...” he lamented...
“Wherever you go, there are those darn cameras!"
I’m a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....”looks like you have the best job” he says, “why is that?” I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
Did you know what did the Grrman Bread said to another German Bread after tapping on his shoulder ?
Gluten Tag.
edit : i fucked up the title
The waiter at our local Indian restaurant asked if I wanted bread before the meal.
“That’s a naan-starter” I told him.
I was in an argument about what the best kind of bread was
But the conversation went a rye.
Why did the bread not go to the doctor?
Because it felt butter in the morning.
Whats the most popular video game at a bread bakery?
Did you hear about the bread shortage at the Indian grocery store?
When I went there, they had naan left.
I took my friend to an Indian buffet and he complained about the bread.
It turned out to be a Naan issue.
What do you call bread that doesn’t want its name out in the public
I looked in the cupboard to find some Indian bread
How is bread like the sun?
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
What did the german bread say to the other german bread?
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