Did you hear about the cannibal who threw a pile of funny bones into a boiling cauldron?

He made himself a laughing stock

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asiers
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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How do you think they measure the weight of bones?

They probably Skel-a-Ton at a time!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourAnimateJonnyV
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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I was making chicken broth, but I used the chicken’s funny bone

You could say I made a laughing stock

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Can you name all the bones in the body?

It's called a skeleton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BamaPaul
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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I swear I ordered the sirloin, yet they brought me a t- bone

Apparently I have been mistaken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManicMuncy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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What did Bones say to Captain Kirk at the river crossing?

Dam it, Jim (Be gentle it’s my cake day)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guru_in_flannel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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How many bones are in the human hand?

A handful

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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I know an archaeologist who found a human leg bone during an excavation. The other archaeologists got excited and went over to help him.

Turned out to be quite the shin dig.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tenglempls
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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I asked the guy at the meat counter for a couple of t-bones, but he gave me some sirloins instead.

He later apologized for his mis-steak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyWhatsItToYa
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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My archeologist buddy invited me to a party. Apparently the entertainment was looking for leg bones in his backyard.

It was quite the shindig

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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We found a dolphin skeleton on the beach, so we ground the bones to make some bread...

It was all-porpoise flour.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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why couldn’t the vampire choose between ribeye, sirloin or T bone?

Because he was scared of stakes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisispeculiar
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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I got a car in the shape of a bone

It's a Ca-marrow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TickLikesBombs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...

I'm a steak-holder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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My wife decided to put a bunch of leftover chicken bones in the crockpot so we can make a lot of soup at home as this thing drags on

When it was done she said "we're all stocked up!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NewUser579169
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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It’s the end of work on Friday, it’s been a long week, and all my bones are just like the capital city of the Holy Roman Empire.

They’re Aachen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dymmesdale
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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What did the high archaeologist say to his colleagues upon discovering a trove of dinosaur bones?

Oh wow! Dig it, man!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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Recently scientist found out the funny bone is not

Actually humerus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ingridhorst
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Did you know that NASA found bones of an unidentified life form on the moon?

Update: bones have been identified, turns out the cow didn't make it all the way!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The420Wizard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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My son gets really excited when we go to the natural history museum. When he gets near the prehistoric bones, he just explodes with excitement and I can't deal with is new strength.

I'm just not qualified to handle his dino-might.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leniski1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CamoRanger1205
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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What’s the least honest bone in the body?

The fibula

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swampawappa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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Definately not the bones.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_ordered_chaos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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When the old man gives a dog a bone...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonthethan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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Did you know that a piranha can eat a kid down to the bone in 8 seconds...

anyways I lost my job at the aquarium today

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moist_Milky
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
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And if that doesn’t work, try the funny bone!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyeEDEMT
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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At my job as a paleontologist, I was searching for the thigh bone of a Neanderthal.

I thought I had found it, but it was a fossil arm. Then upon searching the site further, I found a petrified sausage. It was the missing link.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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What are the two most profane bones in the human body?

The blasfemurs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rolling_Man
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
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My wife is weeks pregnant. Lately the position of the baby has been hurting her tail bone. I had my face down by the belly, and my wife told me to talk to it. β€œQuit hurting your mother.” I said β€œ You’re grounded!”

β€œGo to your womb!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thor_loop
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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I was going to buy some t-bones that were really expensive but I went with the safe choice.

The steaks were too high

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πŸ‘€︎ u/41d3n_P1355
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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When I was little, we went to an outdoor lecture featuring the original cast of Star Trek. I was especially excited to see Bones. Unfortunately, we were seated toward the side of the amphitheater, where huge oaks had been planted to frame the stage.

As a result, I couldn't see DeForest through the trees

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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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Why does Satan not eat the Pizza bone?

Because he's the Anti-Crust!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
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How many bones are there in the human foot?

Slightly less than a handful.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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The sound of my bones

Really cracks me up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salt_Overload
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2017
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I know a joke about the bone in the upper arm

Its humerus

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
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Lady at the store told me her cat has very brittle bones.

I asked "Is that called osteo-purr-osis?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datasinc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2016
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My dad told me a joke about the bone in my arm..

It was quite Humerus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SubtlePunn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2017
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What did the scientist dog do with his bones?

Barium

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πŸ‘€︎ u/burner714
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2016
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Did you guys hear about the coolest bone of the 1940s?

It was hip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RockandNerfing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2015
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What's the funniest bone in your body?

The humerus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImLaughingWithYou
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2015
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Did you hear the one about the crossbow made out of rabbit bones?

They say it had a hare trigger!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Sven
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2013
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How many bones are in the human hand?

A handful of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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How many bones are in the human hand?

A handful of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
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How many bones are in the human hand?

A handful of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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How many bones are in the human hand?

A handful of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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Why were there bones on the moon?

Because the cow didn't make it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevingharvey
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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