Why do Cows wear the bells

Because their horns don't work. Β―_(ツ)_/Β―

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JNaik14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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A bell curve walked into a plastic surgeon's office and said "Doctor, I don't like the way I look"

And the doctor said, "You look normal to me".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?

Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?

There was noel

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Did you hear about the aggressive Bell Ringer?

He tolled everyone off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crow930
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I went to go see the liberty bell...

It wasn't all that it was cracked up to be

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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There was an inventor in the late 1800s who despised bells, he designed a device that would eliminate every bell in the world.

He was later awarded the Nobel prize

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πŸ‘€︎ u/max69well
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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A priest in a big church in Paris has a job interview with a new bell ringer. The priest asks β€œwhy should I hire you?” The applicant responded β€œI have a special talent!”

β€œOh, and what is this special talent?” Asked the priest.

The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.

At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!

β€œYou’re hired!!” He exclaimed.

The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.

The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.

A bystander asked β€œwho is he?”

The priest responded β€œI don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!”

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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My friend bought a new door bell the other day, I asked what’s it called.

β€œIsabell”,he said

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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An Inventor in the 1800s created a device that instantly eliminated all bells in the world.

He was later awarded the Nobel prize for his scientific achievements.

edit:OC

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πŸ‘€︎ u/max69well
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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What's the deal with a door and a bell?

On their own they are not really cute, but together they are adorable!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soft_Chicken
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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Why doesn't the bell ring at the gym?

It's a dumb-bell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wholesome_cream
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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What did the pot smoking church bell say at 1 AM?

BONGGGGGGGGG

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πŸ‘€︎ u/squadly_santana
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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What's brown and swings from the bell tower ?

The lunch bag of Notre Dame

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Do you know what the people who cracked the liberty bell deserve?

A no bell piece prize

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chippedreed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pvc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
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Quasimodo is suing Notre Dame Cathedral for the damage to his back from all the Bell-ringing.

I think he might be getting a big lump sum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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What do you call Bell when she's acting stupid at the gym?

Dumbell

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sk_Hulucool
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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What is the horse's name in the song "Jingle Bells"

Bob...bells on "Bob's" tail ring

Credit: heard it the other day and made me laugh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/suchaweirdshow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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Why do farmers hang bells around the necks off their cows?

Because the horns doesnt work

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombiesAtHome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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The person who invented knock knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_gilxn_
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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You know why they named it the β€œbell”

Because it has a nice ring to it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatoSeed7
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RubinKhadka
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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Why did the scientiet remove the bell outside his house?

Cause he wanted a nobel prize

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chelseahazard_10
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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A church recently sustained a lot of damage, and had to hire a contractor in order to replace all of it's bells which were destroyed. After completing the work, all of the contractors were promptly arrested.

They were charged with re-belling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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The inventor of the "knock knock" joke should receive a "No-Bell" prize
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZangeonS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
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Checking in at a hotel and the front desk agent tells me they don’t have a bell hop for the night.

I told her they should get the Nobel Prize.

She just stared at me blankly for 8 seconds until she said.... β€œcheck out is at 10”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jbmusic501
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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I told my friend to get two bell peppers at the store
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daesenriel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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The person who invented the knocker probably got a no-bell prize.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShakinBacon64
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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I have a bell in the bathroom that predicts what I'm going to do in there next

I sit on the toilet, strike the bell, and it goes, "Dung!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
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I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.

It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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There's a wash basin with a faucet on your front porch ringing the bell...

Let that sink in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/intricate3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
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A man with no arms walks into a church and asked the priest if he could be the new bell ringer.

The priest said he was unsure if he could hire him, but would give him a chance. The man went to the bell tower and started running into the bells head first to make the most beautiful sounds the priest had ever heard. Unfortunately, on his second attempt the man missed the bell and fell out of the tower and died. The priest ran outside to the body and asked the gathering crowd if anyone knew who he was and they all said no, but his face did ring a bell.

A few minutes later another man walked up and claimed that the armless man was a dead ringer for his brother.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Terry_Tate_OLB
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2015
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What do you call drooling people who ring the bells outside of stores during the Holidays?

The Salivation Army

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NyteCreatrix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
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Did you hear about the curious case of the Mafia don who required his family members and advisors to ring a bell before entering his office?

He was found dead with a brass handle in his hand.

They’re calling it the Mystery of the Knock-Less Mobster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SapperInTexas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2016
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My Father: Will Will Smith smith? Me: Only if he has the ok from the fresh Prince of Bell, heir to the throne.

I'm also a Dad. He's trained me well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fubarfrank
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
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School didn't ring a bell the entire day.

They were trying to earn a Nobel Peace Prize

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ultimateturkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2016
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Talking with my friend before the bell this morning

Him: Dude you know what's intense?

Me: Camping?

I laughed for a good 5 minutes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hex498
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
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For Whom the Bell Tolls

Pops recently got a new touchdown bell after breaking his getting far too excited over a football game. I came home from work the other day and before I can fully get through the door he rings the bell in my face, looks dead at me and says, "You are for whom it tolls."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ashleynm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2013
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My dad put bells on the washroom door

Every time someone uses the washroom he yells "I can hear you tinkling!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jobymax
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2014
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Went to taco bell with the family

they had the spider web halloween decorations up and my dad said: you should really clean up in here, there's spider webs everywhere.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/requiem_revisited
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
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Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..

I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snoozalojones
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2014
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Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lman777
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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I went to see the Liberty Bell the other day.

It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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I went to see the Liberty Bell the other day.

It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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