I think my wife is becoming a dad. While I was on the porcelain throne, she asked me me what I was doing. I replied: scrolling through Reddit.

She added giggling: you will take ages to log off.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DKS13G
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m becoming addicted to the hokey pokey

But I’m turning myself around

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cvzmir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the daughter Anakin had after becoming more machine than man?

Elly Vader

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirDianthus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is a snowperson becoming an icon of the LBGTQ+ community?

Because a snow person is fluid

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThamilandryLFY
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My dream of becoming the first professional boxer/pirate were crushed....

The boxing commission said my right hook was illegal.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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From my 8 year old, on his path to becoming a great dad: "What did the designers of Darth Vader's costume model it on?"

Mannequin Skywalker

πŸ‘︎ 294
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slavejamhour
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A pregnant co-worker walked into the office the other day. I took a look at her baby bump and said β€œit’s becoming apparent that you’re becoming a parent”.

Stay safe everyone and try to keep smiling

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ascott1963
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Feels like a Moray becoming a knight of the realm....

Day 57 of quarantine. We re doing fine so far, but this all feels like a Moray becoming a knight of the realm.

Pretty Sir Eel here.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/urlordcov
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The three unwritten rules of becoming a dad
πŸ‘︎ 309
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrDoodlesworth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is the flat earth society becoming more popular?

they got members all around the globe.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I think about becoming a mallard to do all the evil crazy stuff I can think of.

But that's no way to conduck myself

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MysteryOrange7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy from star wars becoming a country star?

His name is gonna be Darth Brooks...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaNGLerR89
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the former doctor regret becoming a prosecutor?

His new job was trying his patients.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanOfAllTrades80
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been thinking about the pros and cons of becoming a pirate.

On the one hand, I like stealing treasure, but on the other hand, I don't want to have to wear a hook.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikiloIX
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Where did the Buddha migrate after becoming a sheikh

A.Buddha.B

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mohitpatil66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I made the mistake of becoming a vegan...

and that's led to many other missed steaks :(

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevincredible22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2017
🚨︎ report
You know, the older I get, the more I see myself becoming just like my dad.

It’s really becoming a-parent

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhymeswithbacons
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Everytime the Music Major read his college text book, he would becoming uncontrollably angry and would punch someone.

He has "A History of Violins"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustALuckyShot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2017
🚨︎ report
The moment I realized I was becoming my Dad.

So my girlfriend and I were binge watching Netflix one day, and she always brings a glass of water with her and leaves it in the window sill next to my bed. At this point there were probably like 6-7 cups in the window because I haven't cleaned in a while. Anyways, she asks me "Can you put my bra somewhere? It's driving me crazy". To which I reply, "Sure, I'll just put it here with the rest of your cups". I cried laughing for hours over this, she never even cracked a smile.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ“…︎ May 03 2016
🚨︎ report
What is the prerequisite for becoming an OB/GYN?

Studying abroad.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GGGargadon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2015
🚨︎ report

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