The Attic Puns

Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair!

He has lofty ambitions.

The buyers loved that it was fully fernished with a vaulted ceiling

Sails are through the roof!

He wanted a light house

“Just clean it as-best-os you can.”

Source: my dad

I've been having issues with the roof leaking into the storage space below it. It's being very problem attic

• What do you call drugs in a saucepan? Pot.

• What do you call drugs stored inside the back of your pants? Crack.

• What do you call drugs stored in a car battery? Acid

• What do you call drugs found between 2 slabs of concrete? Crack

• What do you call drugs in a junked up or hoarded room? Meth

• What is it called when you have all the drugs you could want? Ecstacy

• What do you call someone using drugs in the top part of a house? A drug attic

Spiders like the attic.

In the dram-attic.

I am asking my girlfriend to the Homecoming dance in about a month, and it's been a running joke to be as cheesy as possible in our relationship. For this year, I was brainstorming and I saw a pirate costume in my attic. So I am going to take her on a date to a nearby lake, and then my friends are going to row up in a canoe dressed as pirates. They are going to somehow give her a treasure chest for safekeeping (I haven't really thought all of this through yet), and inside will hopefully be one of your puns asking her. Please help arrrr/puns!

On this day in history in 1991 a long lost half of one Samuel Clemens' manuscripts was found in a trunk in someone's attic. We mark this day as the day the original Huckleberry Finn was no longer cut in twain.

My dad was cleaning out the attic and came across this. He was proud all over again.

So while my dad was getting the mail he noticed the neighbor's Halloween decorations on their mailbox. The neighbors had strung these little plastic skeletons on top of it. Upon coming inside he said,

"The neighbors have these little human skeletons on their mailbox. Do you think we should put a mouse skeleton from the attic on ours?"

Happy Halloween.

So the other day my mom asked me to vacuum the house. A few minutes later, my dad asked me to help him with something in the attic. I said hold on I have to vacuum.

Dad: "Oh, that sucks"

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.