Did you hear about the electricianβs accident?
yeah he was in for a shock!
π︎ 17
π
︎ May 16 2021
after the accident, he was never the same
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
After Orville and Wilburβs first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
βAre you all Wright?!β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
What did the blonde do when she found out most accidents occur within 20 miles of the home?
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 15 2021
A bunch of books fell on me yesterday, but I couldnβt find anyone at fault in the accident.
I only have my shelf to blame.
π︎ 126
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
Why was the church song leader so happy when a member of her congregation was killed in a car accident?
The deceased was an organ donor.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 29 2021
After the accident, the doctor told me I'd never be able to unclinch my hands again...
It took me a few days, but I've managed to come to grips with it.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
I have only two new years resolutions this year. One: get back to the weight I was before the accident.
Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'
π︎ 97
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
The man who took my diary died in an accident yesterday..
At this dificult situation, my thoughts are with his family.
π︎ 46
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
A man woke up in the hospital after a serious accident, the man yelled "DOCTOR! DOCTOR, I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!"
The doctor then replied "i know, i amputated your arms."
π︎ 58
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
My friend had the left side of his body ripped off in an accident.
But the doctor said heβll be all right.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
An Italian man loses his hands from bike accident. What did his parents ask the doctor?
βWill my son able to speak again?β
π︎ 21
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
My uncle was in a terrible accident, and lost the entire left side of his body.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
A boy knocks his father down the stairs in a freak accident.
The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"
His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"
π︎ 334
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
There was an accident at the coal mine
Nothing too serious, just some miner damage
π︎ 25
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."
I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."
π︎ 40
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
The vet said our chick has survived through the accident, but his brain was damaged so heβd have to live the rest of his life a vegetable.
Guess weβll call him Eggplant now
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
I phoned the accident helpline...
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
Did you hear about the proctologist who had a car accident?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 21 2020
I really wanted to be there for the birth of my child. I drove like an idiot and almost got into an accident. But when I reached the hospital, I found out it was all for nothing.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
Kenny Rodgers ended up in a wheelchair after an accident. While rolling down the side walk, he lost a wheel.
He sung: you picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
The doctor told me I probably wonβt be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
π︎ 91
π
︎ Jul 01 2020
Where do you take someone who has been the victim of a Peek-a-boo accident?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
Frank: ...girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
Jane Spencer:
Goodyear?
Frank:
No, the worst.
(Courtesy of Naked Gun)
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
What did the authorities do when Barbie's boyfriend was involved in a serious car accident?
They contacted his next of Ken.
That's a damn good joke. I'm proud of that joke.
π︎ 134
π
︎ Jun 15 2020
Did you guys hear about the guy in that horrible car accident? Lost his left leg and left arm
Donβt worry, heβs all right now.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 13 2020
My wife and I recently had a child on accident. We didn't want a child at all as we are rather young and wanted to wait a few years. He was born yesterday at the whopping weight of 8 kilos.
We've made a massive mistake
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 25 2020
Someone recently came back from surgery after an accident with their eye. They got a new eye and a mechanical cover that can shine light while covering the eye
The doctors called it eyeLEDs
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
Why were there so many road accidents in the Roman Empire?
Everyone had a hard time navigating those sharp V-turns.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 30 2020
The victim of accident hasn't got good...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 01 2020
In a freak accident the laboratory sink came to life, made its way to the mad scientist's door and knocked.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jun 30 2020
My little 2 year old sister is in the hospital... she had a peek a boo accident
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 29 2020
After the accident, the juggler didnβt have the balls to do it.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 30 2020
My nan died in a freak bulldozer accident during the building of my new house.
I only wanted one granny flat :(
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
Want to know the best way to avoid accidents?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
I had a minor accident at the practice
Accidentally played a major
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 24 2020
Doctor: your brain fell out during the accident but don't worry I put it back in
Me: thanks for reminding me
π︎ 135
π
︎ Jan 29 2020
I got in a bad accident and the doctors had to remove my left leg and arm
At that moment I realized I had nothing left to lose
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
Did you hear about the florist who died in an accident?
Turns out he was an Orchid donor
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 26 2020
The weatherman for our local TV channel broke both his arms and his legs in a car accident.
He is calling in from the hospital with his four casts.
π︎ 28
π
︎ May 29 2020
The inventor of time travel has died in a tragic jousting accident
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
I got into an accident and I was shocked when the doctor told me that my fingers were broken.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Oct 13 2018
Did you hear about Tom, the guy who lost two of his toes in an accident with red acidic fruit?
They call him Tom eight toes
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 12 2020
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg in an accident?
π︎ 322
π
︎ Oct 14 2019
Did you hear about the kid who lost his entire left side in a car accident?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 01 2020
Did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and left leg in an accident?
π︎ 38
π
︎ Mar 04 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
