Police have confirmed that the man who tragically fell from the roof of an 18th floor nightclub
A man walks into a bar with a small newt on his shoulder. The bartender said, “What an interesting pet. What’s his name?” “Tiny,” the man replied. The bartender said, “That’s an odd name. Why did you call him Tiny?”
Sad news, The funeral for the man that invented Tupperware, was postponed.
They couldn't find the right lid for his coffin.
Who was the man that invented the three season coat?
What's the name of the Spanish man that lost his car?
Our friend Amanda told us that she’s single now and doesn’t need a man.
So we started calling her Da.
My neighbor is a 90 year old with Alzheimer's, I see him every morning and he asks me If I've seen his wife. Every day I have to tell this poor man that his wife died 20 years ago. I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question.
But the look of joy in his eyes whenever I answer him is worth the world.
To the man that invented the number 0
Did you hear about the emergency medical place they’re building that’s shaped like a half man / half horse?
It’s the new walk-in centaur.
Did you hear about the man that was addicted to seaweed?
how did they know that the iceman was a nice man?
Because he was an ice man
what do you call a man with ginger hair that works at a bakery?
I was stopped at a red light with my wife that was taking forever to change. Man, this is a long light! she said.
No it's not I said, It's the same size as all the other ones.....
What do you call a man that has been married and divorced multiple times?
A man walks into his home to find out that all of his lamps have been stolen!
My wife told me that she got a call from the Invisible Man, and he wanted to visited us.
So I said, "Tell him I can't see him."
Just thought of this, sorry if it sucks. What do you call a man that tries to use magic to solve math?
A severely frost bitten man walks into a shoe store. The owner immediately flips him off. “Hey,” says the man to the owner, “what was that for?”
“Sorry,” the owner says, “I’m lack-toes intolerant.”
The man that invented the staircase
will forever be known as the stepfather.
A man notices a sign that says, "Free Zoo".
So he walks in and looks around, but he is incredibly disappointed. The whole zoo was just 1 dog! It was a Shih Tzu.
A man announced over the speaker system that the trains are a bit slow today.
I wanted to see if he was right.
So, when a train pulled up at my station I told it a really good joke.
It didn't laugh.
I saw a man that used different cuts of steak to create portraits of people.
It was a rare medium, but well done.
What’s a four man rock group that doesn’t have anyone singing in it?
Did you hear about the beam of light that killed a man?
Don’t worry, it’s been sent to prism.
What do you call a man with a top hat and a cane that falls down the stairs?
Why did the old man fall down that well?
He couldn’t see that well.
Have you heard of the man that raises chickens?
My friend at his wedding told me that I am the worst best man he has ever seen.
Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced. “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” The bartender inquired. “What makes you say that?” Bill beamed with pride, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work..."
"Suzie was so thrilled to have me around, that every time a mail or delivery person came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”
Oh man! Do you remember that time you got drunk and stepped in a bucket of milk??!
When my gran was younger she use to always say that a key to a man’s heart is through his stomach
And that’s the story of how she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon
A married man changes jobs thinking that his boss will change.
(That's the joke... if you didn't get it, you are unmarried!)
Did you know the Bible dictates that the man should always make the morning coffee?
Yep! It says it right here, Hebrews.
Did you hear about the egyptian man that couldn't accept that his son drowned in a river?
A man told me that me that my clothes look gay…
I told him they had indeed come out of the closet
What did the blind and deaf man say to his friend that got cochlear implant surgery?
Glad to feel you’re hearing better.
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket
You can hide but you can't run.
What's the name of that leg-less man in the pool?
I told my father I don’t have a job anymore. I told him I couldn’t work for that man after what he told me
“What did he tell you ?” he asked
“He said I was fired”.
A man was riding on the bus and reading and article about life and death statistics. Fascinated he turns to the fellow sitting next to him and says "did you know that everytime I breathe somebody's dies?"
The fellow turns to him and says "have you tried mouthwash?"
My wife claims that a man in camouflage is really sexy.
Police have confirmed that the man who tragically fell from the roof of the 9th floor nightclub was indeed...
Police confirmed that the man who fell from the 15th floor of the nightclub…
It was just confirmed that the man who fell off the 30th floor roof of a night club...
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