What kind of tea tastes horrible?

Nas Tea

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RizzyJ10
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 18 2022
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A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit theyโ€™re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. โ€œIโ€™d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,โ€ it says. โ€œSorry, but I canโ€™t serve you,โ€ the bartender replies. โ€œYouโ€™re out of your head.โ€

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. โ€œWe donโ€™t serve your kind here,โ€ the bartender says. โ€œWhy not?โ€ one yogurt asks. โ€œWeโ€™re cultured.โ€

A friend of mine didnโ€™t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. Heโ€™s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and thereโ€™s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, โ€œWhat are you staring at? Havenโ€™t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?โ€ The guy says, โ€œItโ€™s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.โ€

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, โ€œWhatโ€™s with the paper towel?โ€ The pirate says, โ€œArrr! Iโ€™ve got a Bounty on me head!โ€

A turtle is crossing the road when heโ€™s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, โ€œI donโ€™t know. It all happened so fast.โ€

Armed robbersโ€”some say theyโ€™re a drain on society, but youโ€™ve got to give it to them.

Barbersโ€ฆyou have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Donโ€™t forget the pickle. Itโ€™s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. Thereโ€™s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewisโ€ฆ Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bugasum
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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"Can you dump out my coffee? It tastes like tea"

As my wife was taking out 1 yr old upstairs for a nap she requested, "can you dump out my coffee? It tastes like tea". This is what I saw when I dumped her coffee out:

https://imgur.com/gallery/11r9U

Does it still count as a dad joke if it's executed by a mom?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CowboyFromSmell
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 10 2017
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I decided to make some chai tea the other day but I failed miserably. It tasted awful and burnt. But then I reminded myself...

If at first you can't make tea, chai, chai, again.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MandolinMusic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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My dad jokes from this week (best of)

Hey guys, wanted to post some of my dad jokes from this week. If you guys like them I can post again periodically.

  1. At a petting zoo, my 3-year old boy asks why the pony doesn't make noise. I tell him "because he's a little hoarse" (ok that might be an old one).

  2. At the same petting zoo, my boy won't get off the display tractor when other kids want to use it. "Come on, don't be a de-tractor". Another kid is falling asleep on a different tractor. "That must be the dozer".

  3. My infant son is about to flip over during tummy time but can't do it yet. When he missed his morning tummy time, my wife said he should make it up with extra time in the afternoon. I tell her "those are the roll-over minutes"

  4. We are on a playdate at a friend's house, and his 3-year old spills open a teabag all over his bare feet. I say "guess he'll never have an alcohol problem". Friend asks "why not?". "Because he's a tea-toe-toller".

  5. Buying vegetables at the grocery store, I tell my wife some of the lettuce varieties they're selling these days have been genetically edited. She asks "how do you know?" I tell her "they just taste CRISPR".

  6. The rubber ducky in our bathtub has a stethoscope for some reason. My son asks if the stethoscope works. "No, that guy's a quack".

These are just the good ones, I probably told about 50 bad ones to get these. If you guys like them, happy to post more. Happy superb owl day!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nganju
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2022
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A lady at a tea shop

A lady went to a tea shop and ordered a cup of tea, she has a sip, and realizes that it was amazing! She asks the owner of the place, "wow! Your tea tastes great! Why is it so good?" The owner replies "thanks! It's my specialtea!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kickypie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 01 2021
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Fried Ice Cream

Sister in law was watching my kids and my wife and I went out for dinner. Sent her a picture of my wife's dessert and the following conversation happened.

Me: Mmmmmmmmm Fried Ice Cream

S-I-L: Ugh haven't had that in forever!

Me: It's green tea ice cream. How long has that been?

SIL: Never tried green tea ice cream. But I love fried ice cream. Well, I use to anyway haha. Nothing tastes the same since I had kids.

Me: Yeah, that's why I never ate my kids. Leaves a foul taste in your mouth forever.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/YoPhilly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 27 2016
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Had some dadscussion with my friend the other day.

We were doing a short video and he was post-editing. While figuring out what we needed to do for it, we came across something very interesting. He was drinking milk tea at the time:

Friend: OPPURTINITY! I love opportunities!! (sips drink)

Me: I prefer opportuni-coffee instead. It tastes better.

Friend: What?

Me: Opportuni-coffee. (points at drink) Opportuni-tea.

He almost spat his drink.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/grey_rook
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 11 2015
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What do you call tea that tastes like freedom?

LiberTEA

(Im not sorry)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ReksaiMo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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My girlfriend asked me what Watermelon Ice Tea would taste like.

I told her it would taste like Watermelon.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/murkantor
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 04 2014
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I tried peppermint tea for the first time

It tastes very mint tea

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ThePrimeReason
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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I pulled this one as a kid on a family trip to London

Family went to high tea one day.

Me: Can I try some of yours? Dad: Sure. [Taste the tea, hand it back] Me: I like it but it's not my cup of tea Family: [Bursts of laughter]

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hardcore9
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
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