I ordered a Hit Man to take care of my business partner the other day.
After a change of heart I cancelled the order, but it was too late.
He'd been despatched.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
My elderly neighbor had some landscapers take care of his lawn every weekend for several years. Recently, he hired a new crew, but forgot to fire the old crew. So this weekend they both showed up to mow his lawn, and got into a fight over who should be there.
He had no idea he had started a turf war.
π︎ 539
π
︎ Sep 16 2020
People who take good care of their hair with just shampoo and water...
must love it unconditionally.
π︎ 82
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︎ Jul 14 2020
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. Somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me...
Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a minute and when I came out, I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a slight limp...
π︎ 28
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
What's the deal with those people who take care of chickens?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 29 2020
How did the mathematician take care of his constipation problem?
He worked it out with a pencil.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 06 2020
What do you call a dinosaur that takes good care of his teeth?
π︎ 66
π
︎ May 03 2020
No ones takes better care of your lawn than Juan.
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 08 2020
People ask me how I take such good care of my herb garden...
Really I have nothing but thyme
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 25 2020
What man made plant can take care of it self into adulthood
Self raising flower.
I'll see myself out now.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 12 2020
Now that I have more time, Iβve decided to take care of my health and eat a more balanced diet.
I havenβt dropped any food so far!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
Police were called to a day care to investigate a 3yo who was refusing to take a nap
They charged him with resisting a rest
π︎ 149
π
︎ Aug 13 2019
Can you take care of that? Faster?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 01 2019
How to take care of your plants?
π︎ 58
π
︎ May 04 2019
It would be pretty expensive to take care of Rocket Raccoon
He would probably cost you an arm and a leg
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 30 2019
My friend used to take care of the lawn on a rich man's estate but now runs a coffee wholesale store...
He calls it The Groundskeeper.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 28 2019
Whatβs the name of the guy who takes care of your lawn?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
Who takes care of saunas?
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 30 2019
My ex can't take care of her hen so she gave it to me and asked me to name it
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Apr 07 2016
How do one armed moms take care of their kids?
π︎ 16
π
︎ May 16 2019
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him Iβd gourd it with my life.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 02 2019
My wife and I had a huge argument as to who is supposed to take care of the laundry after itβs done.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 19 2019
What's the difference between someone who takes care of bees and someone who collects the souls of the dead?
One bee keeper the other be reaper.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 15 2019
I do a lot to take care of my hot water heater...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 17 2019
Bruce Leehad great empathy because he had to take care of his dumb sister
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 15 2019
Iβm writing a book about a person who learns to take better care of their hair as they get older
Itβs a real combing-of-age story.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 24 2018
If I can't find a day care to take of my baby I'll send him to the army.
He can be apart of the infantry.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 26 2018
I told my friend, βYou should take care of your athleteβs foot.β
He said, βThatβs what makes me a fun guy.β
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 17 2018
So the morgue nearby claims to have the best facilities to take care of corpses after they're dead...
They must be right, as everybody is dying to get there.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 30 2016
What do you call a doctor who takes care of whales teeth?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Aug 06 2017
The pope asked me to take care of his official ceremonial handbag
It's a blessing, and a purse.
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 02 2017
Who did the apple hire to take care of its seedlings?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 30 2016
What are you if you take care of a chicken?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
π︎ 88
π
︎ Feb 22 2020
What kind of person takes care of a chicken?
π︎ 22
π
︎ Feb 20 2020
What do you call people who take care of chickens?
π︎ 68
π
︎ Jun 14 2019
People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.
π︎ 59
π
︎ Oct 11 2018
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
π︎ 44
π
︎ May 21 2019
If you take care of chickens, you become the chicken tender
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 06 2018
If you take care of chickens
You become a chicken tender
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 26 2019
If you take care of chickens
Does it make you a chicken tender?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 24 2019
what do you call someone who takes care of chickens
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 23 2018
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