TIR Convention Puns

I’m just wonder if my understanding of the TIR Convention is correct and that the UK cannot interfere with or delay the transit of Irish goods through UK ports regardless of their status post Brexit. (Just using Wiki as a jumping off point) ... https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/TIR_Convention

"I'll be back soon" he says, stepping into the cage, winking at his captors. His certainty put a few of the younger ones on edge, but the rest dismiss it. There is no coming back. Not ever.

Yyv throws a switch after everyone has stepped back. Holds for a few seconds, flips the one next to it as he releases the initial. And it is done.

The cage is empty.

-------

Samson found himself in the cage when he woke up. Everything seemed off, just left of being perceptably so, but just so very unsettlingly off. The room felt too large and too small all the same, and as the lights in the room so bravely turned themselves on, he understood why. When the lights ate their way through the bars and found him, he felt.

And oh he felt. A memory flashed through his head, one that was to be remembered, and his heart thundered and his eyes teared - as much as they could - and then he saw it in front of him. Saw it taking place in the very room his captors had occupied a minute before, the very room that he now saw was empty, he saw himself down on one knee. Offering his sword, his ring, to someone. Someone now eaten by light, his sword, his ring. His sign of commitment, of fealty, of compassion, of love.

"No." was the gasp, echoing, unnatural and hoarse and reminiscent of the teachers of his youth who had chalkboards and nails, and as he surged forward to reclaim it before the memory left his mind, he lost those memories too. To the light. The burning light.

-------

Yyv stepped back, turning around to head back into the termination ward to collect the deceased's box of possessions. Being an executioner had its perks. And it made it so much easier to indulge in those perks with the rose-tinted lense of justice lowered over his eyes.

He'd seen something shimmering, glittering in the box. Small, ovular, on a thin, equally shiny string, and a spring was in his step as they crossed the threshold of the bay doors to the room. It was vacated, understandably so, and the box was where it'd been left, the glitter concealed by the garments pulled off the man in his final moments.

As he squatted down, all legs bending to allow his head and thorax to approach the box's contents, he could barely hear it. But it was there, he was sure of it. A whisper.

A "No."

-------

Samson cowered. The corner of the cage opposite the floodlights was dark. Warm. It soothed. Something was missing, something not quite important, but something significant. He lived, so it couldn'

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

They’re on standbi

“BOOM”?!

"That's what they're fighting about."

Because his Visa didn’t work.

free

A happy Uncle.....