A list of puns related to "System 1"
I said "Wow, I cant turn that down"
I said it must be my weekend immune system
A main part of my body is called the nervous system
or else I'ma start singing "WHO LENT THE DOG ZOUT"
(Alright I think these are out of my system... no promises)
They have a good immooon system
Using the mildewey decimal system!
This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.
Must be some kind of milestone…
He called it the Dewey deci-mole system..
Hope this is the right sub but this is something I need to share. Do not eat peanuts right now, if you do examine them carefully. There has been a fungus that has infected most of the peanut crops in north America. From the outside they look fine but if you bite into the nut you may notice a small black center. By then it's too late. The black center at early stages can cause digestive issues but if the entire nut is black it can cause failure of the nervous system and respiratory complications. There are pests that have laid their eggs in these plants and tiny microorganisms have developed in these plants. They leech into the fruit causing the black color. Ingestion can cause all sorts of troubles from diarrhea to death. These creatures are fatal. That's why you should always watch out for the creature from the black legume.
1: it has to be a CompSci engineer, judging by the brain’s complexity
2: you’re wrong, it was a Mechanics engineer, look at the muscle and skeleton systems working as one
3: you’re both wrong, it was an Urban Planner, otherwise waste and entertainment areas wouldn’t be adjacent.
By the Dewey Hexadecimal System!
It’s the weekend immune system.
If the metric system is so smart then why are all of the scientific breakthroughs measured in milestones
The Semi-truck’s digestive system
The nervous system
In my opinion we should beat the shit out of constipated people because:
Laxatives are an unhealthy way of dealing with feces. On the other hand, beating the shit out of someone is a good way to practice sports activities like, running, grip strength, punching techniques etc.
Other methods of dealing with feces take alot of money. Laxatives aren't cheap in our flawed healthcare system! On the other hand, there are people that are willing to pay you to beat the shit out of you. By using this method you can become richer and deal with your shitty problems.
Constipation requires being in the bathroom for a long time. This can be very lonely for the people involved. However, beating the shit out of others can be done in any place. Your home, the local park, or even the shady street corner! Not only that it's a very social activity, requiring a minimum of at least 2 people, but usually done in groups of 2-5 people.
Although some people might say, that beating the shit out of each other is violent, most of them have never been to a public toilet and hence are unable to realize how much more painful and violent the alternative is.
In summery, beating the shit out of people is a good, legitimate, and affordable alternative to laxatives and is a better, more progressive way, to deal with constipation.
It's just a lack of the confidence system.
But the LG LK72B XBOOM Audio System is my favourite.
Unlike the grocery store, the clinic isn't adopting the "curbside pee-cup" system.
" It's my new counting system, see that special collar on me dog, it's got a camera and it scans the sheep as the dog rounds them up. "
"Damn me, what'll they think of next? What's it called?"
"Baa codes mate"
The health of your digestive system is too important to leave up to amateur biotics
Terrible joke, only 3 stars.
Edit: I've been told there is a triple star system and a binary pair so it may be 6 star joke
Me: Why is Eurovision going to look so good on TV this year?
Dad: Why?
Me: Because it’s 2020
Me: Plumbing is like the digestive system of a house, and turning on the taps is like it going pee.
Dad: Okay?
Me: Let that sink in.
They checked the reviews of our solar system and only saw one star
It was an automated phone system which said, "Press 1 for the money, 2 for the show…"
So a bit of background here, I am fully dependent on my carer. Where he goes, I go. What he eats, I have to eat too. And because of that, if he wants to eat the wrong thing, I suffer.
I have no control over what he feeds us and I can't always tolerate the foods he likes. If he eats food that is too spicy, I yell at him. Like a lot. I've even made him cry a few times. But the thing is, I can't control myself. Every time I talk, it is shit for everyone in my vicinity, especially him. That's why I need him as a carer. I really tried to not give him shit for a couple weeks by not talking at all but he thought it was so bad that I did that he took me to the doctor to force me to keep giving out instead of bottling it all up.
I don't know what to do. I'm literally the end point of his digestive system. Am I the asshole?
I’m graduating with my Masters in MIS (Management Information Systems) and am seeking suggestions for punny graduation cap mottos or sayings that I could use related to my MIS Degree. Thanks!!
Me (dad): You're going to redo the whole solar system?
My dad: Yeah, we're gonna put in a new transformer and replace some cable and add some panels.
Me: But where are you gonna put Jupiter?
My son: Daaaaaad!
Me: You got the goods?
Dealer: I have an alloy of iron and carbon for only $1.
Me: My, what a steel!
Guy: Hey, wanna hear my joke?
Boxer: I dunno, man. People always say I ruin their punchline.
Teacher: What are the four components of DNA?
Student: Actually, there are five: Adenine, cytosine, guanine, thymine--
Teacher: Oh? And the fifth one?
Student: I got I got I got I got...
Me (metric): Why does America use the imperial system? It's stupid.
Friend (imperial): Actually, other places use the imperial system.
Me: Which other places?
Friend: The Galactic Empire.
Guy: I hate spam.
Me: I like sushi.
Me: I like sushi.
Me: I like sushi.
...
Someone: Son of a gun...
Someone Else: Now you've just pistoled me off!
Okay, I know these are not the greatest puns ever, but this is my first post in this subreddit. Anyway, now here are the explanations:
Joke 1 - An alloy of carbon and iron is popularly referred to as steel, and stainless steel costs $2.41, in which the item receives a 58.51% reduction in cost, which is a mighty bargain, also known as a steal.
Joke 2 - Boxing is a sport in which your only goal is to knock your opponent out through a series of punches. The ending or twist of a joke is commonly referred to as the punchline of said joke.
Joke 3 - Check out Kendrick Lamar's DNA song.
Joke 4 - Troops and personnel of the Galactic Empire from Star Wars are commonly referred to as the Imperials.
Joke 5 - Spam musubi, or just spam, is a type of sushi. On the internet, spam is referred to as the repetition of a specific message, especially when emailing, to annoy or advertise a product/website to someone.
Joke 6 - The phrase, "Son of a gun", is a friendlier alternative to the phrase, "Son of a bitch!" Also, when you annoy someone, that means that you pissed them off, which sounds a bit like "pistoled".
... even my central system is nervous!
Under the current Imperial system, every three feet is a new yard
I really gamed the system.
I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”
I said it must be my weekend immune system
Because I have a weekend immune system
I must have a weekend immune system...
I said, "It must be my weekend immune system."
The nervous system...
The central nervous system.
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