Swaddling Songs Puns

Can anyone recommend any items that are definitely not essential , but you can't go without and would recommend everyone buy? I have heard

Silver nipple shields Hand muffs for buggy/pram Water bottle with a straw built in (for labour)

Thanks!

Edit- thank you everyone who is commenting, I don't wanna reply to every comment because I don't wanna spam the comments but I hugely appreciate all the advice and recommendations!

I have no idea where I heard this. I saved it as a text file. It could either be something a character said from a TV show or movie but I can't quite remember who said it.

We sleep trained our bub for nights and naps when he turned 16 weeks old with CIO/extinction. He goes down like a dream now, but he does intermittently wake up and cry during the night so he definitely isn’t sleeping through the night (we also kept one MOTN feed). It has improved his ability to sleep independently immensely so I consider it a success, and wanted to write about it to share and see if anyone has continued to experience intermittent MOTN crying.

• Before sleep training, I would have to yoga ball bounce bub to sleep every time for both naps and nights, drowsy but awake never worked. He had a ton of false starts and would wake every 2-3 hours in the night and I’d either need to give him a pacifier or bounce/feed him back to sleep. I think this was the regression (at least I hope it was for our sake).
• We transitioned cold turkey from Snoo/swaddling/paci to a (Woolino) sleep sack in crib. I was really nervous about him startling but it worked out!
• We transitioned from 4 to a 3 nap schedule which I think made a huge difference - I now believe that he was undertired before, which means that everytime we were trying to get him to sleep he was not having it and I had to bounce him on a yoga ball forever. Our wake windows are now 1.5/2/2/2.5-3.
• Routine: Feed, bath (twice a week)/diaper, jammies, lotion, book, song, white noise, sleep sack, turn off lights, walk around carrying and speaking to him softly for 5 minutes, place in crib and kiss good night. Nap routine is exactly the same, just starting with book.
• We started nap training the day after night training, which is working out even better than his nights - he now can sleep minutes after being put down for his naps, we do a variant of crib hour/crib 60 where if he sleeps for only a sleep cycle (35 minutes exactly) we leave him in his crib for up to 20 minutes to give him the space to put himself back to sleep. He has gone back to sleep 100% of the time for his first two naps (with occasionally some crying) which still blows my mind. We cap total sleep time for each nap attempt at 1.5 hours. We usually get him up after one sleep cycle for the third nap, which is more of a catnap before his last long wake window.
• He has become pretty consistent at waking up for a MOTN feed between 2-3, which I respond to immediately after hearing him. After the feed the intermittent crying happens usually between 4-6AM - sometimes just a minute then back to sleep, other times up to 30 minutes. We never

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Hi bumpers! This community helped me so much and I just wanted to do my final check in before graduating to beyond the bump. It’s been a wild journey so far but pretty rewarding. Here’s a list of things that I’ve observed:

1. Find one book or website as your go to source for things you’re curious about. The internet is a clusterfuck of contradictory information and you will go crazy scouring the interwebs. Pediatrician is a good choice.
2. Keeping your phone off or away from your bed when you try to sleep. Sometimes I would look at something real quick and an hour or two rolls by. It’s helpful when winding down.
3. Having a gallon bag with a diaper, outfit, travel wipes, disposable changing pad or the like, travel baby powder in my car. You will forget the diaper bag and that will be the day the baby has an epic blowout. I have since added a basket in the trunk with these things in it so I don’t have to remember the diaper bag.
4. Buy TWO of the baby’s favorite stuffy or lovie cause things happen.
5. Writing down or getting an app that tracks diapers, naps and feedings. The apps were too detailed for me and I just use pen and paper. I don’t write down diapers changes anymore. Why I love it: A sleep cycle pattern will emerge slowly and you can get a good gauge of your LO wake window times and average nap times. You don’t have to guess. We did this for about a month and built her schedule around it. Works pretty well and happy to report that baby started sleeping through the night almost every night around 4 months old (hallelujah). I also write down daily ounce intake which helps me see if she’s having a spurt and requiring more food.
6. Gear: Loving the Nuby Silicone Dipeez spoon. We introduced it at two months. Just started solids and from day 1 of solids, she was able to feed herself because she’s had that spoon and learned how to operate one early. It’s been great. Worst gear we had was Velcro swaddles with hook and loop strength to withstand swaddling an elephant. Always woke up the baby and the sound startled her every time. Second least favorite was a bottle warmer. Took too long and just used my electric kettle and checked the temperature.
7. Wishing I would have known more about PPA/PPD and the difference between that and baby blues. Would have come up with a plan if I would have known it could be severe.
8. Stopping your breastfeeding journey for the sake of your mental health is ok. Formula doesn’t mean failure. Don’t come for me 😂
9. B

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

love is textile print

weave'd with wisdom and wrinkles

a patch legacy-

intricate designs,

dancing dragons and lions

embroidered in gold.

passed down moth kisses

tight stitched daisy chain wreaths and

hot chocolate stains.

its grandma's fabric

entwined in her mother's cloth

and her mother's cloth

and so on, forever.

these clumsy hands continue

to sow, on and on.

love is textile print,

a bundle of woven warmth

swaddled around a newborn-

mewling yawns and morning songs

swaying in crook'd arms.

a patch legacy-

a hummed Christmas hymn,

her chocolate chip smile-

a hand built quilt passed on

and on and on and

1

2

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Sellenia froze, looking around the dimly lit corridors painted red by the emergency lights.

“Soardoria?! What’s wrong?” Sellenia called out in her mind as her family and friends began to carefully walk down the darkened train tunnel.

“What’s wrong?! What’s wrong is that the whole planet is freaking out! Vekloden said the runes are all going crazy with power fluctuations from weak to overpowered! He thinks that there’s so much death and earthen activity going on that it’s causing complete and utter chaos!” Soardoria’s voice called out to Sellenia’s mind.

“Are you okay?!” Sellenia asked, a distraught look coming over her face.

“We’re fine. Mother went crazy after that Ethereal showed up at the wedding last year! She basically stockpiled the entire hollow. She demanded we have ample food, water and everything. Right now all we felt was the impact, but Vekolden is monitoring everything outside… Sellie… He’s… He’s saying the entire world isn’t going to be compatible with life in a few weeks, maybe sooner. You’ve got to get here now!” Soardoria exclaimed.

“I have to get my family off the planet,” Sellenia responded, turning to meet Kriggary’s concerned face, “Once they’re off world and safely on Dei, then I’ll come right back to you.”

“Sellie, what if something happens to you?!” Soardoria argued.

“I’m an Ethereal being, remember? I’ll be able to make it, I promise you, no matter what happens, I’m going to make it back to the Blue Dragon Hollow, okay?” Sellenia stated, turning to look ahead, trying to ignore the large sections of tunnel which lacked light, allowing the shadows to flicker and loom as they walked.

Sellenia’s eyes constantly flicked back and forth, chasing shadows in every corner.

Soardoria’s voice calmed slightly in Sellenia’s mind, “Okay, fine. But you better get here! And check in with me every day! I’ll tell Vekloden so he can keep an eye out at the door for you. Oh, that door might be under water. We are pretty sure that our whole island sank a little bit after the impact.”

“You know I don’t have issues swimming,” Sellenia said with a soft smile as Soardoria’s voice faded.

“*I know. I l

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

Or would that be too forward thinking?

I won't be doing that today!

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

[Removed]

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

When I got home, they were still there.

It was about a weak back.