Svartálfar Puns

#Imperial Ministry of War

Glory to His Imperial Majesty!

In response Rise of the Global South, the Imperial Government in Alfheim has stationed the 4th Imperial Army in Svartálfar. Once known as Ares, the Imperial Colony only exists as a source of cheap raw resources for its colonial master.

Despite repeated calls for regional organizations to withdraw, Alfheim has signaled its intent to permanently entrench itself within the continent. The deployment of large numbers of soldiers will assist in organizational efficiency as Alfheim prepares a new round of reforms to significantly bolster its strength on the dark continent. Alfheim itself isn't concerned about the new global south alliance, nor its worldwide notoriety. Rather, it seeks to consolidate the gains it made in recent decades.

Ithronel Eilric, son of Reichskommisar Rozenkritz, has been appointed as Imperial Viceroy of a new crown colony. The young Alfr aristocrat stands at the head of a poor nation as large as its fatherland.

His actions within the next few years will undoubtedly affect the lives of hundreds of millions of imperial subjects.

#Deployment to Svartálfar

##Imperial Soldier Loadout

Combat units are capable of skillfully handling all weapons currently in use and are therefore highly versatile.

• Standard Rifle: IS-ETC 40

• Designated Marksman: Rifle ISMR-42

• Handgun: Mauser IH-39

• Light Machine Gun: Heckler & Koch ETC-LGM 45

• PDW: Heckler & Koch PDW-50

• Sniper Rifle/Anti-Material Rifle: Heckler & Koch ETC-G50

• Light Machine Gun: Rheinmetall AMP-88

• Melee Weapon: Image, Post

• Assistant Droid: Image ,Post

#4th Imperial Army

###Personnel + Wheeled Vehicles

I wrote an italian version of “Le Roi Louis”, the French crusader song I think most of you know already. This version is about the slaughter of Verden, and the tale is seen by the eyes of a Heathen Saxon skald/bard. I hope you like itSvartálfar - Il Re Cristiano

Both Dökkálfar and Svartálfar are Norse “dark elves,” and the only dissimilarity I can find is that Dökkálfar live underground and Svartálfar live in Svartalfheim. Is this the only difference? Are they the same race, but from different places?

Does anyone know names the Norse used for specific dark elf characters? Playing a half drow wizzard in Pathfinder rpg and I'm looking for interesting names for my character.

I love this game, but I hated going through Alfhiem for reasons I can't explain. I don't know if I went through it underleveled, or the way that dark elves interact during a fight that's wholly different from other enemies in the game. They annoy me to no end. Whenever a fight begins (especially in the mists of Niflehiem*) They are the first to die, ALWAYS. Even if they aren't the most readily dangerous foe in the room. The fight feels instantly more enjoyable as soon as they're dealt with. I sigh and grumble under my breath every time I hear that GRAK NO THORAK ZEE that implies I'm about to pull my hair out.

How do you guys feel about the svartálfar? Are there other enemies that piss you off as much?

I'm trying to determine what powers a player who wants to play as a half-Svartálf (changeling template) could buy. (Svartálfar are the Norwegian crafts-elves who made Dresden's better tools and Molly's apartment)

The game is Up-to-your-Waist (7 refresh) and so far I definitely have the character able to buy:

[-1] Flesh-Mask (instead of a glamours or human guise) and

[-1]Anti-Magic Static (homebrew-protects objects from Hexing a-la the lightbulb in molly's apartment which survived Dresden's frustration)

I could use some help figuring what else should be available, and possibly what order they should be available in. I want to give the player enough options to allow them to go full-fae without giving them access to everything. The player has asked me to handle picking the available powers, and doesn't have any preference beyond it making sense canonically.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

With the closing chapter of Book V upon us, it's only natural to think about what could await in Book VI. Based on the calendar, it should begin in early December, so it's likely we'll get a December FEH Channel early in the month like we did last year. Either way, this should be fairly exciting. As such, I figured I'd give my thoughts on something regarding the story of Heroes. I've talked about it a bit before, but now it's once again relevant, and I feel that recent content has given us more to work with, and a new conclusion to come to.

It's no secret at this point that Heroes's story focuses on its versions of the Nine Realms of Norse mythology. However, when tallying them, an issue arises. Namely, that pesky number that begins their collective name: Nine. For as often as Norse mythology comes up in popular culture, especially in recent decades and especially especially since Thor entered the MCU it seems, in truth the mythology of the old Norse peoples isn't as extensively catalogued as some other old world religions and mythologies, such as the ones of the ancient Egyptian and ancient Greek peoples. There are a multitude of reasons for this, but to simplify things, it's mostly a combination of the old world vikings being nomadic and, by extension, more often sharing these tales orally than not, and that the things that did get written down were often destroyed by Christians due to the growing hostility toward paganistic religions and traditions by them at the time. As a result, most of our understanding of Norse mythology comes from what little survived up to modern times.

So what relevance does that have here? Well, as a result of historians working with scattered puzzle pieces instead of a full puzzle, information about Norse mythology is incomplete and sometimes up to interpretation. One area where this is seen is with the Nine Realms themselves. In particular, what realms constitute those nine.

Generally, there are six realms that are always, without fail, considered part of the nine. They are as follows:

Midgard, the realm of the mortals.

Asgard, the realm of the Æsir gods, the ones in charge of domains like war and strength.

Vanaheimr, the realm of the Vanir gods, the ones in charge of things like the harvest, magic, fertility, and foresight (if it helps, think of them as the Psychic types to the Æsir's Fighting types).

Jötunheimr, the realm of the jötnar. These guys are most often translated as being giants, altho

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Does anyone know names the Norse used for specific dark elf characters? Playing a half drow wizzard in Pathfinder rpg and I'm looking for interesting names for my character.

Does anyone know names the Norse used for specific dark elf characters? Playing a half drow wizzard in Pathfinder rpg and I'm looking for interesting names for my character.