A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
Special moment: giving my sun his first bath.
What kind of dogs like sun tanning?
From my six years daughter: what kind of bread does the sun like?
A heart shaped bread. (she pronounced it "hot" with a heavy British accent). This is her Valentine day joke. I am a proud dad.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was,
2 Astronauts landed on the Sun
Astronaut 1 : ItssofuckinghotcanIgetabeeraroundhere?
Astronaut 2 : Thereisnospacebar.
Well.. We made another trip around the sun.
But it's the earth's rotation that really makes my day.
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
My friend today is intentionally staring at the sun to cause eye damage.
Look on the bright side, today will be the last time he sees 2020....
NASA put a watch around a potted plant and sent it on a rocket to the sun. I said to my Daughter, "don't worry, it will be ok.."
"a watched pot never boils"
Why didn't the sun go to college?
It already has like a million degrees!
Somebody should come up with a name for when the sun goes down
I’m gonna call it a night
Honey, you are the sun that lights my sky.
I'm glad you're there, but god I hate looking at you.
I squint at the sun because its bright...
......but, I squint at some coworkers, because they aren't.
Mon, Wed, Fri, Sun- its Greg Tues, Thurs, Sat- its Ian
It's the GregorIan Calendar.
Beer is like the sun...
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
They just found a planet practically identical to earth, but it has two suns.
What did the Sun say to the Moon when it came home after it’s curfew?
“Have you been out all night?”
His Sun isn't so bright...
Johnny Depp has lost his case against The Sun newspaper even with evidences
Hard to win if Amber is Heard and Johnny is not
What does Apollo, god of the sun, do when his sideburns get too long?
What’s hotter than the sun?
My daughter. Oh wait, I thought this was r/stepdadjokes
Um, never mind.
Whatever you do, don't look at the sun through a colander...
You will strain your eyes
I was just chillin by the pool on the 4th of July with my 11 yr old. I told him I got a little Sun...
And then you had a growth spurt.
It took him a few minutes...
Remember, the sun isn't chicken.
21st June 2020 lies on Sunday, which is also Father's Day, but since we have Solar Eclipse on that day, it's actually Sun-day.
Son: Father can you tell me what a solar eclipse is? Father: No sun.
Know the difference between sun and no sun?
You really should. Its night and day
I once knew a guy that liked to bask in the sun. He touched my circle of friends but did not enter it...
I don't want a sun or a daughter
The sun came up twice today
How does the moon give the sun a great hairdo?
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went...
I stayed up all night, wondering where the sun went.
And then it dawned on me.
What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.
I once stayed up all night trying to figure out where the Sun went
The sun is hot, and bright... I look up to the sun. :)
What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up?
I was up all night wondering where the sun went
Why did the sun never go to college?
It already has thousands of degrees.
What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up?
I spent all night wondering where the sun went...
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