Step Brothers Puns

Dad:Signaling a certain height "Yeah, he's about this tall."

Guess you could say he's lack-toes in toddler ants

It required too many steps.

Credits to my brother in law when he was painting his deck.

Brother: let me try that strawberry lemonade Takes sip and makes an awful face cause it was sour Yeah that is not my cup of tea.

Her: that's because it's strawberry lemonade.

I had to step out because I was laughing too hard.

Step brother and I were talking about Hugh Jackman.

Dad chimes in "who is this Ackman guy, and why does it matter if he's huge?"

I'm a triplet, and when my step-dad sends me and my brothers birthday cards, he writes in each one, "You're my favorite; don't tell your brothers."

I was at the diner with my family on Mom's day. My step brother looks around the packed dining room and says, "Damn it's crowded in here!" to which I reply "Yeah, everyone and their mother is here today."

My brother drove to my family christmas party with my mom, while I drove separate. When it came time to leave, my brother decided to leave in my car instead of with mom. As we're stepping out the door, my grandma says, "You're separate from your mom?" My brother responded, "Since birth."

Was at my girlfriends graduation when the valedictorian said something about embracing change. Girlfriends Step-dad reached in his pocket, pulled out a nickel and handed it to my girlfriends brother and said "here ya go. Embrace it."

Me and my brother both come home to find my mothers been on a shopping trip, bags of food are everywhere in the hall and alone on the stairs is a large piece of cheddar cheese. I ask why the cheese is there and my brother responds..

"Its on the naughty step, it wasn't being mature"

My grandma asked my brother, "So have you gotten any chances this semester to study abroad?"

My dad stepped in and said, "Oh don't worry. He's been seeing two girls this semester!"

Our dad walks up to the computer and asks "What are you guys listening to?" My brother says "High Ball Stepper." Our dad says, "Oh cool," and proceeds to slowly walk away, lifting his knees really high with each step, holding his junk.

We were both just sitting there, shaking our heads...

OK so a little background. My dad and stepmom recently adopted a chiwawa who had been abused by its previous owners. At first he was extremely skiddish but eventually warmed up and now is a pretty chill, albeit goofy, little guy. My brother was petting him last night and out of no where he gets defensive and turns and bites his leg.

My step mom goes, "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Hes still funny like that sometimes. Isn't he (my dad)?"

My dad non chalantly replies, "I laugh at him all the time."

Me and my brother were just losing it.