A list of puns related to "Sputnik V COVID 19 vaccine"
because she seems really good at installing antivirus!
Itβs my longest running joke of the year.
Its because they are ICE-O-LATED
Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
It appears completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveΡ, and I feelshΞΊΞΉ ΟoΟoshΞΏΜ Ρ ΡΡΠ²ΡΡΠ²ΡΡ ΡΠ΅Π±Ρ Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ ΡΡΡΠ°Π½Π½ΠΎ ΠΈ Ρ Π΄ΡΠΌΠ°Ρ, ΡΡΠΎ Π²ΡΡΠ°ΡΠΈΠ» ΠΎΡΠ»ΠΈΠ½ΡΠ΅ ΡΡΠΈ.
Pfizer! Pfizer! Pfizer!
He would practice socialist distancing.
They said, βOh, a mass shooting.β
but it does give me paws.
Now Iβm dealing with emotional baggage
True story, I work in the health industry, get to ask these questions from time to time:
Me: Good morning (of course no matter what time of day it is)! I have 4 questions for you, letβs see if you studied for the test...
Patient: (most of the time, chuckle)
Me: Have you had a fever in the last 48 hours?
Patient: No
Me: Have you had a persistent cough recently?
Patient: No
Me: Have you been tested for COVID-19 recently?
Patient (sometimes): Yes
Me: Do you know the results of the test?
Patient (about 85% of the time): Negative
Me: You donβt know the results of the test? (Straight face behind mask)
Patient: It was negative
Me: (smile and chuckle showing through mask)
Patient: Ohhhh! I get it! (Laughs 95% of the time)
Me: Dad jokes have to happen... π
/insert question #4 here, unrelated to said joke... heh
I guess it's worth a shot.
They couldnβt smell what the rock was cooking.
But he didn't get it
I'm calling it the Inoculate Conception
When I got mine the other day they told me I had to wait 3 weeks to get number 2.
They keep asking for dose dos
True story. Happen about 2 hrs ago.
Back trying. My wife and I both work in the medical field. She runs hospital employee health dept, and Iβm the dental director for a public health agency.
My wife had Covid-19 in January. We were talking about the long term, later effects of Covid on peopleβs health.
Wife: I wonder what the residual effects of Covid-19 are. My left ear hasnβt been right since I had Covid.
Me: Well of course not.
Wife: Why? What have you heard?
Me: Well your left ear canβt feel right. Itβs your left ear.
Wife: God, why did I marry you 33 years ago?
How dense the population is.
How dense the population is.
I sent her this
But they encouraged me to immediately return to the vaccination center to pick up my glasses.
I left feeling microsoft
COVID had to vaccinate against Chuck Norris
Iβm really not sure how effective they are, seems as if they are a shot in the dark.
Cuz you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to go. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime.
His Pfizer killing him
It was a shot in the dark, but I found it!
"It's worth a shot!"
Should see it as an opportunity
The covid tester asked if I had experienced a sudden loss of taste. I said no, I always dress this way
It was worth a shot.
They are known as the Fighting Virish
Donβt ask meow.
Theyβre tasteless.
A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
I guess if you get vaccinated you wonβt be headed to the ICU.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer
Because they're too ice-o-lated
Because he has Santa-bodies.
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