What's it called when a Tibetan monk wants to kill a colleague, but needs spiritual preparation first?

A premeditated murder

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📅︎ Aug 12 2020
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My friend is pastor of a church that has no divine historical figures with extraordinary spiritual and moral insight...

It's a not-for-prophet organization.

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📅︎ Jul 15 2020
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I am helping a gold-medal winning sprinter acheive the highest level of spiritual awareness.

...I feel like The Flash, because I too, am enlightening Bolt.

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📅︎ May 27 2020
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Why was the spiritual teacher upset at his students?

They wern't present

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📅︎ Mar 01 2020
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Gandhi is well known for his spiritual guidance, ascribe mystical powers to him...

We know he frequently fasted which made him somewhat frail and caused bad breath. We also know that he often went without shoes, making the souls of his feet very tough.

This made him a... Super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

(I’ll see myself out)

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👤︎ u/aisored224
📅︎ Oct 22 2019
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Took a walk to look for spiritual guidance. Then I saw a billboard advertising a local church.

I think it was a sign.

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👤︎ u/TurkMcGill
📅︎ May 02 2019
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If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then...

... you dilly dally in the Dalai's deli daily.

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👤︎ u/fatandsalt
📅︎ Sep 07 2018
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What did the spiritual fisherman say to the whale?

Everything harpoons for a reason

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📅︎ Mar 08 2019
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Which race of dogs is the most spiritual?

chihuahua

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👤︎ u/xNeron
📅︎ Jun 15 2016
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What is the most spiritual fruit?

Watermelohm

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📅︎ Dec 26 2016
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What do you call ghost boobies?

Spiritual entitties

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👤︎ u/smolbing
📅︎ Jun 30 2019
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Maria's taste in music

I have a childhood friend called Maria. Lately she found her spiritual side and because of this all of her preferences changed. What kind of music do you think she listen to now? MariaCHI

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👤︎ u/rch99
📅︎ Sep 30 2019
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Dad Joke About Yoga

I was asking my girlfriend about her yoga classes, and she said she wasn't really into the spiritual side of yoga, and it weirds her out when some instructors end the class with a communal 'ohmmmm'.

Me: So you're saying there's some resistance to the ohm?

She laughed. She's a keeper.

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👤︎ u/tbast
📅︎ May 01 2014
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A beautiful tradition

Martial arts is as much spiritual training as it is physical training. In fact, there is a school of martial arts in Korea where practitioners would spend large portions of the day just meditating.

As they train their spirits to ponder over their place in the universe, the practitioners would also train their bodies to forgo the needs of the physical world. The practitioners would endure days on end without sleep, and live on a single loaf of bread for an entire month.

As they meditate, they would repeat the mantra: “I am one with the universe, it sleeps not so I shall not sleep. This bread is my only worldly attachment but I shall only TAKE ONE DOUGH”

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📅︎ Jul 06 2018
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I didn't get this one until I was older, when my brother was told the same "story."

Dad: "You know, we're actually descendants of one of the oldest native tribes in this part of the country, right?"

Me: "Really?"

Dad: "Yeah, The Fagawee tribe. I remember when I was little, your grandpa took me on a spiritual pilgrimage through the forest. He drank a lot and smoked some native herbs. The herbs didn't seem to be working, though, because as it got darker, we seemed to be walking in circles. It was cold in the woods and we seemed to keep coming across the same old log. Finally, in the middle of my dad's spiritual trance, he fell to his knees in a clearing, raised his hands high, and proclaimed "We're the Fawagwee!"

Translation: ("Where the fuck are we?")

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📅︎ Jul 30 2013
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