She could take him to the court. She had.... concrete evidence
So a pal (f/34) had a second date with a guy that was supposed to be dinner at his flat. Beforehand, she mentions to him our girl code and that she'd get shit from me if she went without at least his second name and address. So she asks for it, and instant radio silence. She says, if that's not OK, they can get dinner at a place nearby. He eventually replies that they can meet up and have a coffee and chat. Alarm bells are ringing and she mentions something along the lines of being downgraded from dinner to coffee because she asked for his address, where she would be going anyway. He thinks it's really weird and insulting that she would ask for this beforehand. She tries to explain that's its just a very basic safety precaution and no judgement on him but at this point his reluctance is giving her alarm bells so they'll just leave it. Best of luck in his future endeavours etc. His retort is that 'someone must have seriously hurt her in the past' and he's not looking for that. He actually warns her how off-putting it is and that she probably shouldn't do it again in the future. She tells him she always asks and no one has ever had a problem with it in the past. She could tell he was gearing up to war and peace in response after that so just deleted and blocked.
Very proud of her but kinda gobsmacked that someone in this day and age could get soo uppity about this. I have literally taken a photo of a guys number plate before getting in his car to go on a date and they have laughed it off. They could be a serial killer or a mad rapist. I've said this to them in my experience most guys get it. This guy did not. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this or something like it?
Edit: the plan was to meet her off the train and take her to his place.
I have found that a lot of men and their families (particularly if they are religious) are very insistent on women and step children changing their last names after marriage. In today's world, I feel this is completely unnecessary and robs people of their established identity. Those who wish to can do it, but it's not something that should be forced/expected. It is by NO MEANS a measure of how much someone loves another person and shouldn't be treated as such.
Edit: It seems like people don't understand the post at all. It's not about changing names after marriage being removed as a practice, it's about changing names after marriage not being forced/expected if the woman/child in question doesn't want to. People losing the plot all over.
Edit 2: A lot of people claiming people have a choice, this is reddit. Not reddit USA or reddit UK. Just because your country allows it doesn't mean there's tens upon tens of them that don't.
Edit 3: It's really shocking that the first world minority comprising of maybe 400 million in a population of 8 billion believe that if this is popular among them it's popular opinion. Well I shouldn't really be surprised tho.
The first of which is Stefon Diggs, drafted by Minnesota in the 5th round of the 2015 draft. He quickly proved to be a draft steal for the Vikings, providing a 1-2 punch alongside Adam Thielen and became a franchise legend due to the Minneapolis Miracle. After being traded to Buffalo, he has earned back-to-back Pro Bowls in both years with the Bills.
The second active player is Quandre Diggs, drafted one round after Stefon by the Lions (Surprisingly though, they aren't related). Stuck in the perpetual quagmire of Detroit, in wasn't until he was traded to Seattle that he truly flourished. Providing an excellent replacement after the Earl Thomas flameout. While he hasn't been as good as Thomas was, he's still a very good player that the Seahawks defense sorely needs. He's even carved out a little niche as a ballhawk. Intercepting 13 passes over the past two-and-a-half seasons.
Finally, we have the most recent entry into the Diggs Echelon of Eliteness, Trevon Diggs. Trevon's burst onto the scene in a big way this year. If Quandre Diggs could be considered a ball hawk, than Trevon Diggs is a BALL EAGLE. Dude's brought back interceptions like it's the 80's all over again. Tying the Cowboys franchise record in interceptions and shattering all recent interception trends. Dude's on an absolute tear and you can't help but be impressed
So in summary, while Diggs may be a pretty rare last name for NFL players, the ones that do have that name have a pretty good track record
Used to go to school with a Bossman, which was pretty cool. And recently there was a boxing match between Wilder vs Fury, which together sounds like something from Clash of the Titans.
I asked him why, and he said because the customer is always right.
I got married nearly 10 years ago and changed my surname to my husband's but I just can't get used to my new surname. I didn't realise how much of my original surname was part of my identity. I'm thinking of changing it back (hubby and family would be okay with this, so no issues there) but wasn't sure if it would make filling out forms in the future annoying or if there are any practical considerations to think about? Thanks!
My daughter (17) came out as transgender a few years ago, and for her birthday this year we legally changed her first name to a feminine name of her choosing. My wife and I have always supported her and her transition, but my daughter seemed disappointed that her surname wasn’t also changed.
I am Icelandic-American, if if you don’t know, surnames are quite different than in other countries. One’s surname is their father’s first name + a suffix related to their gender. The son of Jökull would be Jökullson, and the daughter of Jökull would be Jökulldottir. When my American wife and I married, she took my last name, per American customs, and gave that same masculine surname to our daughter when she was born. All of us have the same masculine last name.
My daughter wishes to change her surname to “Jökull”dottir in order to align with her gender expression, as well as Icelandic naming customs. I hadn’t considered this for her, as we live in the United States and used the local customs. My wife and I are on the fence about changing her legal name again, as processes like this are very expensive and time-consuming in our state. I told her that her mother and I would be more than happy to help with the paperwork if she paid for the processing. Our daughter doesn’t accept our reasoning and claims we are only contributing to her existing dysphoria by not going through the process again.
She is very proud of her Icelandic heritage, and picked an Icelandic first name for her initial name change. While I understand her desire for the name change, I think that she is too focused on how her name would come across in Iceland, where we rarely visit, and should consider how it comes across in the United States if she goes through with this change.
Am I the asshole for making my transgender daughter pay for her own surname change?
The more I think about this stupid norm, the more irritated I become. It’s so normalised and embedded into society, to the point where people will look at you sideways if you choose to keep your own name. I also hate that keeping your own name is regarded as a radical act of feminism when in reality, it’s the most neutral thing you can do.
Not to mention, I like my name! It’s been my name my whole life, it’s part of my identity and it feels right. The thought of waking up one day and just being called something else doesn’t sit right with me at all.
On a sidenote, the practice of children taking their father’s name is beyond infuriating. So you’re telling me, a woman carries a living thing inside her body for NINE months, undergoes untold damage to her body during that period, suffers the most horrifying pain to bring the child into the world and somehow this is all surpassed by a man‘s task of * checks notes * having an orgasm?! Ridiculous.
I’m just so sick of it all tbh
Edit: to all the men lurking this sub so they can whinge about men’s rights and the evil nasty feminists: go outside and touch grass lol
Don’t click results if you’re based
So this is a situation I never knew I'd end up in.
I (44) was living my happy suburban life, wife and two kids until it got upended a year ago. Turns out I have a 16 (then 15) year old daughter Athena from my ex-girlfriend, who never told me because she had major pre-natal depression and post-natal and then just never did until she got sick because she continued to struggle with guilt and depression. It was hard and took convincing from my wife but I forgave her.
The last year has been tough for my family and it breaks my heart that Athena had to see her mom like that in her last year. I was a momma's boy myself and seeing how much love and reverence that Athena has for her mom's memory makes me so proud and so happy she got such a fantastic mom that made up for me not being in her life. Thing is, Athena has my last name, her mom gave it to her and she wants to change it to her mom's surname.
Nearly three weeks ago she asked me if I'd pay for it (it's a little expensive), I gave her a hug and the money right away. I didn't think twice I just felt happy she trusted me enough to ask. My wife says I did the right thing and it'll let Athena and I grow closer. I think it has cause she's been FaceTiming me every night instead of once a week, she has been playing video games with her brothers and has gone shopping with my wife a few times.
Her grandparents phoned me this morning livid that I gave it to her cause she's filled the forms and made the payment. Her grandfather straight up called me an unthinking asshole. Apparently Athena had been wanting to change it before she ever even met me but her mom was saying no. Her grandparents told me of a discussion I had with her mom when we were dating on how moms do everything in a pregnancy so the kid should get the dad's surname since it's the least they give. Yeah, it was a weird way of thinking but I guess that it stuck with her? Apparently her mom made her promise not to change her surname because she didn't want to take any more away from me.
Now I'm feeling really torn, because on one hand, she just misses her mom and I just want to help her feel better but I violated a dying woman's wishes and I see why her grandparents are so upset about that because it was their daughter that died.
My last name isn't great, but his is hilarious and horrible. I hate the patriarchal overtones of being passively passed from one man to another, like a sack of potatoes, but I'm not sure if any of the usual workarounds are going to be of much help to this complex conundrum...
-
He's a family namesake and actually quite attached to his amazingly unfortunate surname (though sweet and compromising in most other things).
-
His family is kind, welcoming, and pretty involved in our lives, so I think they might take it as a slight if I don't do the traditional thing and just take The Worst Name.
-
Any kind of hyphenation sounds incredibly clunky.
-
I can't think think of any workable mixture of the last names - and I have TRIED.
-
And while I'm not overly keen on my maiden name, it's my name, just like his name is his: why is it fair that only one of us has to 'leave' our old family to start a new one?
-
Finally, I can't just keep my maiden name as a middle name, because I already have two of those and they're sentimental. I just cannot deal with four first names (Jane Jean Jenny Doe Smith is a bridge too far for me)!
HELP. What would you do?
There's been no response from the consultant at all. We've met face to face last week during an awkward ward round but she didn't mention the email. She didn't refer to me by me name at all which was weird.
Thankfully, I've met with another consultant who is amazing, for an unrelated occupational health reason. She's like the only beacon of hope in an otherwise bleak department. I didn't even have to be the one to bring up the CS situation. She straight up asked whether I'm happy to continue with my current supervisor, and she pretty much handled everything from there.
I can't deny that there will be times when being stern won't cost me. But overall, since I've changed my outlook from "it's okay for seniors/colleagues to be unprofessional to me" to "I'm not taking shit from anyone" I've seen mostly good outcomes and my worklife happiness has improved drastically. I know we get it drilled into us that we should just keep things bottled up for the sake of the "MDT" or whatever the fuck, but the onus should be on everyone, not just junior doctors to be compassionate, friendly and professional. The way I see it, keeping things bottled up is how you become a bitter and resentful consultant in the first place.
First of all, we understand that we are fully in our right to name our own child however we please and I have no intention to apologize for our decision.
My mom said he is "just old school" but she is standing by him. This isn't brought on by anything else, I have been making a strong effort to be a model son, husband and now father, especially as of late. I even made Thanksgiving dinner and invited the whole family over as a sign that I want us all to come together as adults. My dad and I have never got along but been mostly civil. It's complicated - but things have been good for the most part lately.
I wanted to repair whatever was broken and start new; I have actually been making these efforts for about 7 years. I'm really stunned that he's ditching us like this literally day 1 of my kid's life. We have been cautious with covid and asked for them to give us space for now until we are ready to introduce him to them - they complained they feel left out. This might be a reason for lashing out but... still. Suddenly not speaking to me basically excludes himself! What the... logic isn't really playing here. He exited a fb group chat I created where I was sharing photos and videos of our child. Assuming it could have been a mistake I invited him back to the chat. He left again. Very, very clearly left. By doing this he is essentially declining to even receive photos of my child.
One of things here is that by taking issue with my wife's name he is obviously making her feel rejected. Its's passing the border from rude to just plain mean. My wife and I have been blissfully married for 8 years. She's an excellent role model and going to be an incredible mother. I love her very, very much. Basically we have a healthy relationship that I am grateful for (knock on wood!) So his issue with her name is confusing.
I am looking for key sentences that I can use whenever it is I speak to him next to explain that this has hurt us - without causing any further conflict.
Historically speaking, names with "son" are surnames. Such a name definitely should not be used for a girl unless you acknowledge that it has no significant meaning to your child.
(Braces for impact)
Yes, I'm serious. I made a bet with a friend and and I lost. It was one of those bets you make when you know you couldn't possibly lose. And yet here we are.
I don't share my current surname with anyone in my family, apart from my dad who is no longer in our lives. I need some cool surname suggestions!
Don’t get me wrong, my family has great stories of enduring hardship and overcoming nearly insurmountable challenges on both sides, and I’m lucky enough to say that I’m proud of the heritage of both of my parents. But my mother’s maiden name is Rippingale and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel robbed of such a powerful surname
For starters, the raw power and tenacity that comes from the first and middle syllables, “ripping”. But then I’ve always associated the middle and last syllables, “-ingale”, with the nightingale bird. A creature that I’ve forever thought to be beautiful and graceful in every action
If it wouldn’t hurt my mum as much as I know it would, I’d legally change my surname to something that (to me) meant equal parts power and grace, which is pretty much the line I strive to walk in my life
Does anyone else have similar stories? I’d love to hear them
How do they translate into English?
Hello everyone,
I have a large project of Jewish surnames and their meanings, language, and background information. To me, surnames are a huge part of our identity that's often forgotten, and you can learn so much about the past of Jews from them. I'd be happy to research yours or give you a definition, but I have a request:
Anyone who knows a Jew, whether yourself, a friend, or an ancestor, with an interesting or rare surname, I'd be happy for you to share it with me, but any surname at all is good, no matter how common or obvious, just in case I missed it somehow. Whether you know the definition or a legend, or know nothing about it and leave it for me to research, any name is useful. Rarer ones or ones with legends especially. If you don't wanna post it publicly feel free to DM me. It's important to me to preserve this element for the ages and to expand my database however possible to better show the wide Jewish history. Thank you for your help.
Edit: Very happy about the huge influx! Keep them coming! I created a subreddit called r/JewishSurnames to see requests and let everyone know about the progress of my database, I hope to see you all there!
How often do u see someone keeping their surname and what were the reasons?
We have a goalie from Finland whose surname is Kahkonen.
It seems that the national broadcasters in the U.S. and the local broadcasters in my state disagree with how to pronounce the "a". The national broadcasters are pronouncing it as a long "a" (like kaksi). The local broadcasters are pronouncing it with a more American "a" (IPA: æ) sound (like how we Americans would say "apple" or "back").
Who's right? I feel like the national broadcasters have it right. I'm just a beginner, but I've never heard the æ sound in Finnish. Just the way it's pronounced in kaksi or anteeksi or talo. Does the "h" change how the "a" is pronounced?
Kiitos!
Inspired by the Diggs thread from earlier
Abe Woodson - Made 5 consecutive Pro Bowls for the 49ers between 1959 and 1963. Was both a starting corner and a kick returner, but to be fair it looks like his Pro Bowls came moreso from his contributions as a returner where he led the league in a scattering of yardage/TD stats, including 3 kick return TDs in 1963.
Charles Woodson - First ballot HOF corner for the Raiders and Packers just inducted in 2021, made 9 Pro Bowls with 3 1st Team All-Pros and a DPOY in 2009.
Darren Woodson - Starting safety for most of the 1990s Cowboys dynasty, made 5 straight Pro Bowls from 1994-98 and was a 1st Team All-Pro the first three years.
Marv Woodson - This dude only made one Pro Bowl, what a scrub. Was a corner/safety for the 1960s Steelers and made the Pro Bowl with 7 INTs in 1967.
Rob Rod Woodson - 1st ballot HOFer who was a perennial Pro Bowler both as a corner for the Steelers from 1989-1996 and a safety for the Ravens/Raiders from 1999-2002. Was a 6x 1st Team All-Pro, 1993 DPOY and was one of only four corners to make the 75th Anniversary All-Time Team despite having only played 7 seasons at the time.
The "you bet your ass I came up with this on a technicality" footnote: There are also three other Woodsons who show up on Pro Football Reference who kinda don't count, but it's up for interpretation:
QB Andre' Woodson - NFL Head Coach 09 legend. Drafted by the Giants in the 6th round in 2008 but never made a 53-man roster.
G/DT/DE Freddie Woodson - Played 3 years for the Miami Dolphins, but was only there while they were still in the AFL from 1967-69.
LB Xavier Woodson-Luster - Technically doesn't count as a dual name, but holy shit what a name. Played for the Texans in 2017 and the Browns in 2018.
To put it another way: From 1990 to 2010, there were only 20 DBs who made 5+ Pro Bowls. 3 of them were named Woodson (the 2,098th most common last name in the US) and none of them are related.
For example the first option is a,e,i,o,u and y... then select this option only if all of these DONT come in your first and last name..
I've heard it thrown around a few times that his name actually preceded the word 'doom' because one of his ancestors in the distant past was so ruthless that the word 'Doom' originated from them, but I'm like 99% sure that's just someone's headcanon. So is there any canon explanation for the goofiness of it?
I hope she takes him to court. She has concrete evidence.
My last name isn't great, but his is hilarious and horrible. I hate the patriarchal overtones of being passively passed from one man to another, like a sack of potatoes, but I'm not sure if any of the usual workarounds are going to be of much help to this complex conundrum...
-
He's a family namesake and actually quite attached to his amazingly unfortunate surname (though sweet and compromising in most other things).
-
His family is kind, welcoming, and pretty involved in our lives, so I think they might take it as a slight if I don't do the traditional thing and just take The Worst Name.
-
Any kind of hyphenation sounds incredibly clunky.
-
I can't think think of any workable mixture of the last names - and I have TRIED.
-
And while I'm not overly keen on my maiden name, it's my name, just like his name is his: why is it fair that only one of us has to 'leave' our old family to start a new one?
-
Finally, I can't just keep my maiden name as a middle name, because I already have two of those and they're sentimental. I just cannot deal with four first names (Jane Jean Jenny Doe Smith is a bridge too far for me)!
HELP. What would you do?
)