I am sorry for the long post but I really need to provide context. I have long life issues with inconsistency. I usually pick up an interest, work hard, reach the point where I see progress and then I will stop working to reach square one. This goes for everything - Eating food, office work, hobbies, exercise, self-care and even with medicines. This basically sums up my life. Earlier I used to suspect that I have Aspergers and I can only sustain any activity as long as it can maintain interest. With trauma awareness, I manage to uncover the reasons as follows. Trigger warning already.
I was apparently the defective child (almost mute and very weak). They thought I could do nothing much in my future so probably they started seeing me as a help - Cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, helping mother when she is sick. For such a child, the only reasonable need is to eat and have medicines under sickness. Thankfully there was no restrictions on eating and so my hunger was valid ( Ironically, I would not eat as a child). Over the years, every other requirement and needs were crushed down under the premise that I am born for house help. This includes the need of clothes, good education, vehicles to commute, hobbies, interests, self care, emotional connection with friends or a partner, Money etc. For instance, I had 2 months holiday after graduation. I thought it would be beneficial to learn driving. I had some money saved so I happen to mention it one day. My father moved his head in disgust - "What will you do by learning to drive?". Meanwhile his other children were asked to learn driving because its an important skill to have. Same goes with education. Same goes for personal hygiene and personality maintenance. Most of the money I made was taken away because what would I need money for.
I have been out of their physical reach for last 7 years and managed to revive my interests. However as I mentioned, I undo my progress to get back to square one. So I can barely exercise more than a week, start hobbies such as art, photography and leave it after a couple of sessions. I eat properly for 2-3 days and then go into starving mode. I think I am propelled by curiosity or drive a design/create so I start doing something creative but over time, as progress happens, a very feeble voice in me whispers - " What will you do with a good figure?" or "You may exercise hard but it ain't going to do anything" or "How does taking care of your skin do anything good for you l
You know? All my life I have been told that ''I am gifted'' because I have an easily excitable nervous system. As a kid I was always asking questions, finishing work fast, linking weird concepts together.
Teachers told me that, if a kid is faster/more efficient than the rest, they should work more/have more homework than the other pupils or they would grow ''lazy''.
I'm always called ''the lazy one'' in my family because I don't overwork or keep working even if my body hurts (like other members do). Because apparently ''I have soo much potential''.
At this point I don't want to know if I am gifted or not, I just want to be left alone, without being judged . The problem is that... They only valued me when I was ''efficient'' and punished me when I showed human emotions like sadness so now, as an adult, I can't process properly my emotions.
I usually force myself to experience a despersonalization state by anxiety inducing working and I see myself as a machine. It's the only way I can function. During those times, I'm super efficient but I isolate myself and my body hurts. Sometimes I have insomnia and I'm even more efficient when I don't sleep. It's weird. I wish I could stop being human and having needs or feelings. I wish I were a machine.
But I know all will come together and I will be depressed soon.
(Please remove if not allowed :) first time reddit user here!)
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Hi all. Recently watched a video about how body positivity should be discussed more by men and the affects on them. Lots of different body types are being portrayed across products targeted at women. Many menβs products are advertised by chiseled men who never miss a day at the gym.
Looking for a book that highlights self objectification and the affects on the brain? Anything that relates to the affects of social media and how this affects our body image and mental health?
Look forward to any and all suggestions - thanks!
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Hello, I am a psychology undergraduate and I am currently collecting data for my thesis on self-objectification and maladaptive daydreaming. This survey is expected to take 10-20 minutes to complete and participation is anonymous. If youβre aged between 18-30 years and is interested to be a part of this study, please access the google form below. Self-Objectification and Maladaptive Daydreaming
Iβm collecting research for my Masterβs Thesis about views about your body and experiences with your body in personal and public spaces.
This survey requires you to be at least 18 years of age and speak fluent English. If you would like to participate in a confidential survey, please follow the link. Thank you in advance!
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I genuinely believe that women are more objectified than they've ever been before, mainly because of social media. Influencers are making careers off of self-objectification, and average women are objectifying themselves publicly too because they can see it leads to more attention and possibly money.
In a vacuum this isn't a bad thing, and makes perfect sense. People can do what they want and if you want to do this good for you, I'm not trying to stop you. The problem comes when society is trending in that direction, with even underage girls posting photos of themselves in poses and outfits you only used to see on pin-up posters.
I remember in middle school (around 2012-2013), already girls were posting ass pics and extremely provocative photos of themselves, just at age 12-13. Young girls are growing up copying what adult women are doing, and making it normal to present yourself as a hyper-sexualized object. Moreso than how women used to be seen based on my own observations.
I see how it's empowering because you're doing it yourself, you're choosing how other people see you, etc. I've heard those arguments before. But when your public image makes Playboy look tame, when that used to be lambasted as hypersexual smut, how can you expect people to see you as anything more than your softcore Instagram profile?
And now that it's common for women to make careers doing this, for musical artists to hypersexualize themselves in the same way as a part of their act, and barely-pubescent girls copying it, how will this affect the perception of women 30-40 years from now? I think we're heading in a direction where women are more objectified and seen as more like sex objects than they've ever been before.
Porn outfits used to be comically exaggerated, ridiculously sexual and completely unrealistic. Now it's normal to see women at parties/clubs/even just out on the street (in warm weather) dressing the way you see in porn. In fact sometimes porn outfits are more modest.
It reminds me of Blade Runner 2049, and other dystopian sci-fi, where the female form is objectified on a scale we've never seen before. Literal 10ft holograms of naked/nearly naked women used to promote anything and everything. Or even just to be eye candy. Again, people can do whatever they want. But it seems like it's heading in a bad direction and I don't think it's a very good idea in the long term.
And if you've overcome it, what has helped you?
I'm starting to recognize just how much I see my body through the male gaze and the amount of insecurity this has caused me. I have started weightlifting this year and I think it's a step in the right direction in that it's helping me to appreciate what my body can do. Although, I also realize part of it's purpose (for me anyways) is still trying to grow some curves in order to feel more attractive. So I'm not sure how much that is really helping the situation.
It's an unreasonable gendered expectation by society that results in significant psychological harm. Suicide rates, depression, anxiety, isolation.
I think the expectation of self-sufficiency is class discrimination exploiting a patriarchal culture. (Rich men telling poor men that they should "man up" so that they can continue to exploit them and pay them a shitty wage).
But then I could argue that "sex sells" is what drives sexual objectification in media which is the narrative that teaches men how to view women. (Maybe that's a stretch).
I'd say that self-sufficiency is class discrimination exploiting gender discrimination where as sexual objectification is gender discrimination aggravated by class discrimination.
We are so better off recognizing that we're in this resource-driven survival game together and that we need to support each other. The "man" can't have all the answers and I don't think he wants to be in that role.
Even on the subs and groups on Reddit, sex workers will use phrases like βsex positiveβ or βsexual empowermentβ to defend what they do. I say thereβs no need to even go that far...
Escorting is more like driving Uber.
You've already got a car, why not use it in your spare time to make some more cash? You can do it on your own terms and your own schedule, when the kids are either at school in the afternoon or asleep at night. I like using the example of women with kids, whether married or single-parents, to expand the net of people involved in the sex trade to not only be the stereotypical runaways and drug addicts that are controlled by pimps, but to include intelligent, upstanding, even classy professionals.
Many just really enjoy sex and being promiscuous. Newsflash: there are tons of women like this. A quick tour of the subreddits will highlight women and men like this. We have tons of hook-up apps that make it convenient to meet total strangers for Hence the Uber analogy; you already βown the carβ or love sex and have plenty of it - why not get paid for it. Thatβs really the simple logic to it, at least for the many women Iβve paid as escorts.
My own personal distinction of the terms has βsex workerβ referring to someone who does it virtually 24/7 as opposed to βescortβ who does it as she pleases and is generally a low-volume provider. The Uber analogy works best with the latter. Iβve had everyone from small-business owners to working professionals, even retired women or stay-at-home moms.
SERVICE PROVIDER
Being in the sex service or being a service provider really is a needed service in society, in spite of the stigma. I jokingly call myself a βstress fuckerβ and a βsport fuckerβ so Iβm not referring to that. But if you look around, there are countless people craving for sexual contact and sexual fulfillment. From the man in an unhappy marriage or relationship to the person who circumstances such as upbringing, social expectations, even mental or physical limitations, sexual gratification is a need. It might as well be included in the mantra of βLife, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.β
Iβm not saying escorts (or βcomfort womenβ) should be viewed as saints and community activists. Iβm saying that the consensual trade of money for one person, pleasure for another, doesn't deserve the stigma or treatment that it's given.
Note: We now have βprofessional, certified CUDDLISTS.β π Iβm sorry, they're βtherapists.β
PATRIARCHY? YES. MANY WOME
... keep reading on reddit β‘Hi all,
As my dissertation has developed I am interested in people who have an interest in fashion or work in the industry to do my survey. It will take 1-2 minutes.
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when we poop we objectify and alienate ourselves as poop. the poop confronts us as an alien object and it exists as a reified power over us because we see it as super gross. it is hygienic and healthy to poop, but also simultaneously disgusting. the inherent self-contradictions of our current mode of pooping suggests a higher form of pooping immanently and dialectically
Basically, do you find yourself putting a lot of self worth into your outer appearance/sex appeal? (and end up self objectifying or self sexualizing?) We live in a society that seems obsessed with attaining and flaunting the "perfect" female body. If you do, how do you deal with this and remember you are more than your body?
There have been quite a few posts going around my facebook feed recently about modesty. It happens to be perfect timing, as I have been thinking about whether/how to edit my wardrobe when I go on vacation with my TBM family, and how to justify my "inappropriate" clothing to my parents and younger siblings (youngest is 10). I have many feelings which I'm struggling to articulate, but these articles make good points:
I searched the subreddit and found a few discussions on modesty, but they're from several months ago so I'm bringing it up again. What are your thoughts on all this? Which points do you particularly agree or disagree with?
What would you say to someone using the classic "your body is a temple" argument?
And hey, maybe it won't even come up. It's an extended family vacation, ranging from TBMs to not-actively-religious-but-conservative-in-standards christians to nevermos. (At least one cousin will almost certainly wear a bikini.) But last time I was with my family, my 20-year-old sister actually ordered me to change out of my spaghetti-strap shirt or put on a sweater, in 95ΒΊ heat no less. Because god forbid my parents or siblings see my shoulders. So there's no telling what might come up.
I am a strongly egalitarian man and I am not familiar at all with specifically feminist ideas. My area of interest has been more on broad progressive ideas, agendas and actions.
What's your take on self-objectification in fields like pro sports or any activity where the income gap is still huge despite some opportunities being there?
I often talk about the reasons why some people would support policies and parties that were clearly against themselves or some of their core values (partially single issue voters). As I see how some professional sportswomen would turn to sexual objectification to gain exposure and sponsorship deals, I keep thinking that, as most sports have very poor financial prospects and female competitions were not given as much exposure, they were giving up to keep a career afloat.
Pro sports is by definition loaded with objectification and fantasies but sexual objectification is put on the women's shoulders as usual. The only counterexample I know is from the (male) french national rugby team who is famous outside the fans' community for their hot pictures in black and white (calendars). The examples for pro sportswomen are commonplace.
Sports are just an example, I was wondering what feminists thought about the fact that women give up on that front to cope with the rigged game?
I have long life issues with inconsistency. I usually pick up an interest, work hard, reach the point where I see progress and then I will stop working to reach square one. This goes for everything - Eating food, office work, hobbies, exercise, self-care and even with medicines. This basically sums up my life. Earlier I used to suspect that I have Aspergers and I can only sustain any activity as long as it can maintain interest. With trauma awareness, I manage to uncover the reasons as follows. Trigger warning already.
I was apparently the defective child (almost mute and very weak). They thought I could do nothing much in my future so probably they started seeing me as a help - Cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, helping mother when she is sick. For such a child, the only reasonable need is to eat and have medicines under sickness. Thankfully there was no restrictions on eating and so my hunger was valid ( Ironically, I would not eat as a child). Over the years, every other requirement and needs were crushed down under the premise that I am born for house help. This includes the need of clothes, good education, vehicles to commute, hobbies, interests, self care, emotional connection with friends or a partner, Money etc. For instance, I had 2 months holiday after graduation. I thought it would be beneficial to learn driving. I had some money saved so I happen to mention it one day. My father moved his head in disgust - "What will you do by learning to drive?". Meanwhile his other children were asked to learn driving because its an important skill to have. Same goes with education. Same goes for personal hygiene and personality maintenance. Most of the money I made was taken away because what would I need money for.
I have been out of their physical reach for last 7 years and managed to revive my interests. However as I mentioned, I undo my progress to get back to square one. So I can barely exercise more than a week, start hobbies such as art, photography and leave it after a couple of sessions. I eat properly for 2-3 days and then go into starving mode. I think I am propelled by curiosity or drive a design/create so I start doing something creative but over time, as progress happens, a very feeble voice in me whispers - " What will you do with a good figure?" or "You may exercise hard but it ain't going to do anything" or "How does taking care of your skin do anything good for you life?". Today I have recognised this feeble voice. Its belongs to my fa
Iβm collecting research for my Masterβs Thesis about views about your body and experiences with your body in personal and public spaces.
This survey requires you to be at least 18 years of age and speak fluent English. If you would like to participate in a confidential survey, please follow the link. Thank you in advance!
https://ucmopsych.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9KzJ35J2W7Vdj3U
