I told him four wheels, a seat and an engine
He was arrested for crimes against huge manatees.
He was a good Padre
predictable, as it was led by only a semi-conductor
A guy was walking down the beach, eating a frozen waffle, and he dropped it.
The bartender says, “we don’t serve your type”
Tragic Sans
They've been charged with crimes against huge manatee.
There's a sign declaring it The Avocado Highway. My wife asked me why it was called that.
I said: "Because it's the pits."
It isn't his fault.
....by conducting a Junior Seance.....
But I failed to see the porpoise.
But when they work with dolphins they do it on porpoise
While taking the Tram Tour around the Africa enclosure at the Safari Park we passed a group of Wildebeest.
I turned to my wife and said "I don't remember this group of Wildebeest, they must be Gnu."
...a dirty waffle.
Credit goes to my friend who dropped that earlier today haha
Yeah, he's funny, but he's just not my type.
Merely for entertainment porpoises.
Pretty sure they did it on porpoise.
I just can't seem to find any porpoise.
I’m writing a research paper about how it is inhumane for orcas to be kept in Seaworld. I want a really good pun for my title, but the mood is still pretty serious. Thanks!
If I fall asleep, I'll be sleeping with the fishes
My wife said, “What are you going to do when you finally see it?”
Me: I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.
And she saw a sign advertising that you can "Dine with Shamu" She asked if I thought that would be a nice date. "I don't know. I mean we would be there having a romantic time and Shamu is just stuck with us like a third whale"
...San Diego.
For all in tents and porpoises...
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
Alamo'd
Best part about this joke is that it's easy to remember.🤠
He told them he was a marine biologist
A giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit ➡When the city comes to, God is standing over it.
"San Francisco, are you OK?", God asks.
San Francisco replies, "I'm fine, just a little foggy."
Sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
No, and my name is not José.
You have a sandy eggo in San Diego.
The bartender says "I'm sorry, but we don't serve your type here"
san diego
“Get out of here” the bartender says, “We don’t serve your type!”
She asked me, “What are you going to do when you see it?”
I said, “Let’s cross that bridge when we get there.”
And a lifetime ban at the San Diego Zoo.
