How do toddlers put on their pants? The same way as everyone else...
After coercion, and with extreme reluctance
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 25 2023
Why do nuns wear the same thing in the Star Wars universe as they do here on Earth?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 04 2023
I was able to stay in the hotel penthouse for the same price as a regular room.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 18 2022
I want to die in the same way as my grandfather did.
Calm, composed, quiet, sleeping. Not screaming like the people on the bus he was driving.
π︎ 42
π
︎ Oct 09 2022
10+ 10 is the same as 11+11
10+10 is twenty
11+ 11 is twenty too
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 16 2022
My bedroom performance is about the same as Liz Truss's performance as prime minister....
I don't know what I'm doing but I'll sure as hell give you a weak pound.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 03 2022
What do you call friends that share the same palate as you?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 04 2022
But does it weigh the same as a duck? π€
π︎ 60
π
︎ Mar 15 2022
Sitting in church my dad told me to roll up my tie and let go same time as him for a race.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 13 2022
I saw my buddy Jack, who i havnt seen in along time, get on the same plane as me.
I yelled "Hi Jack!" and they kicked me off the plane!
π︎ 14
π
︎ May 17 2022
My mother-in-law happend to be washing dishes at the same time as me.
One might say we were... in sink
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 27 2022
Next year is going to be the same as last year.
Because it will be 2020-too.
Happy new year, dads!
π︎ 27
π
︎ Dec 30 2021
For 2022, Iβm going to keep the same resolution as last yearβ¦.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Dec 31 2021
Whenever I eat my vegetables, I get the same uncomfortable feeling as when I leave the carousel.
They give me pretty bad spin-aches.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 26 2022
Whatβs a benefit of being the same height as your partner?
You share the same perspective on life
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 13 2022
This morning on the highway my SO and I were overtaken by a car with the same model and color as ours, so I said:
I'm afraid we are getting ahead of ourselves.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Oct 19 2021
My colleague claimed that vinegar is just the same thing as battery acid.
Such a baseless argument.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Aug 17 2021
When you meet someone with the same name as you!
π︎ 216
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
I was in California when I recognized a cop as a guy who grew up in the same area as me...
It's a CHiP off the old block!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 23 2021
A dad joke is not the same as a joke told by a dad.
That should be pretty ap-parent in this sub.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 22 2021
Male anatomy isnβt the same as female anatomy.
In fact, thereβs a Vas Deferens.
π︎ 167
π
︎ Feb 19 2020
As a courier, I regularly deliver golf equipment to the same guy.
You could say he's found the ideal driver.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 21 2021
Drinking American beer is the same as having sex on a canoe.
Itβs f*cking close to water.
π︎ 119
π
︎ Feb 29 2020
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
Most brands of bottled beer is the same as having sex on a boat
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
I use to think that I had the exact same padlock as my friend, but upon closer inspection..
It was clear to see that they had some key differences.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 23 2021
Stairs are the same as elevators but with more steps
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 20 2019
Did you know that 2x10 is the same as 2x11?
The first one's twenty, the second is twenty too.
π︎ 914
π
︎ Jun 24 2015
I was telling my friend that brown rice is the same as white rice, but with a criminal record....
He thinks I'm a riceist for saying that.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
I heard that during this virus outbreak, we shouldn't use the same faucets as other people.
It's something called social distance sink.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 21 2020
Saying "I'm sorry" is the same as saying "I apologize"
Unless you're at a funeral
π︎ 42
π
︎ Jul 10 2018
What do you call an older irrational number who goes to the same school as you?
π︎ 70
π
︎ Apr 24 2016
I remember when the kids used to tease me for my abilities as a tailor. I also had the same retort:
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
What do you call the same thing as a cinnamon roll?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 29 2020
What do you call it when a teacher watches his class as they take a test and plays online poker at the same time?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 08 2020
Do you know why Melania wont sleep in the same bed as Donald?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 05 2019
I used to work at a store that put the teas on the same shelf as the pea pods.
Whenever someone asked where the butterfly pea flower tea was, we would say, βBlue tea is in the aisle of the pea holder.β
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 17 2019
I am going to start Web site that is dedicated to revealing secret recipes that contain vegetables that are in the same family as onion and garlic and are especially good with potatoes.
It will be called wikileeks.com
π︎ 274
π
︎ Aug 31 2016
You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get off the merry-go-round!
π︎ 29
π
︎ Apr 27 2019
Back in Taiwan, I had a pair science project to make a miniature biplane. His last name was the same as mine.
And in the end, two Wongs made a Wright.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 16 2017
Did you know big bowtie pasta looks the same as small bowtie pasta?
I guess the apple doesn't farfalle from the tree.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
My new year's resolution is the same for 2020 as it was in 2019
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 30 2019
My last name is the same as my first name, never changed it.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 09 2018
Next year is going to be the exact same as last year
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 15 2021
How does 11+11 equal the same as 10+10?
Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
π︎ 84
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
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