Apparently members of the South Korean Olympic Women’s Curling team have given each other breakfast themed nicknames.

Talk about hashtags!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
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Written on the side of a hearse in front of a hair salon...

Will Curl Up And Dye For You

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?

Curl up and dye

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thelifesponge
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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How do you get Canadian bacon from curling in the frying pan???

How do you get Canadian bacon from curling in the frying pan???

You take away its little brooms!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciceronic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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What's the most gory sport you can play?

I'm not sure, but the awnser must be blood-curling.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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After an intense session at the gym, I asked my personal trainer what was the best way to show off my new muscles.

He told me to hang upside down from a tree branch and curl my arms behind my back.

I said β€œweird flex but OK”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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There should be a movie about a Jamaican curling team that competes in the Olympics.

Call it Curl Runnings

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1esserknown
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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A couple of fast ones

Handkerchief - Cold storage

Beauty parlour - A place for women to curl up and dye

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombiesAtHome
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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How do hairstylist workout?

By curling irons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FamishedHam
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
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Jokes for driving by the beauty school

Each time we drive by the beauty school I attempt a dad joke. Here are some of my favorites.

I wonder how often they use highlighters in their coursework.

Do you think they have extension courses?

Students are dying to get out of there.

Does every teacher allow makeup work?

You know, they're doing the opposite of filing for unemployment.

I wonder how often they change the locks in there?

Do you think cutting class is a requirement?

Does each student have a permanent record?

Do my puns make you want to curl up and dye?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kentuckeyken
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
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waves of laughter ensued

Sooooo... my oldest daughter curled her sister's hair this weekend... on the way home I started waving at her until she looked at me and asked me what I was doing... I told her that her hair was all wavy so I was waving back. She had the usual split second involuntary smile at the the corners of her mouth before she gave me a you-son-of-a-@#$%!-look ( http://imgur.com/D0UHimq )... because my kids refuse to acknowledge how funny I am... I laughed... and laughed...and I'm still laughing about it today...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samoerai
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2014
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The people at my hair salon make me wanna..

Curl up and dye.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AppsPotato
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2017
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The pun-master strikes again!

My roommate asked us if she should curl her hair or straighten it Guy Roommate 1: "We like you so much better with curly hair" Guy Roommate 2: "Yeah, you're such a bitch when you straighten your hair" Me: "Seriously, your hair goes straight to your head!"

... (awkward silence followed by berating me with anti-pun comments, jealous)

Edit: grammar stuffs

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2014
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daughter says "My curls are coming back"

"If you talked to your hair they could be your curl friends." i got a real face palm. was awesome!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doogy650
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2015
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The running jokes..

For a little background my dad enjoys the more vulgar jokes. Anyway, he often jokes about his "company." In fact every time he answers the phone he answers as if it's a call towards his company.

(He answers the phone) "Hello this is the Viiiiibrator Repair Service." Caller - "the what?" Dad - "This is Dick Phitzwell's Vibrator Repair Service, as of right now only the installation department is available."

It's not a joke really cause there's no funny punchline. The caller normally laughs and then carries on with the call.

Another one he likes, "What does an 80 year old woman taste like?

Depends.."

The other day we are at the beach. We're walking back to our vehicle and he's carrying his metal detector in his hands. Random beachgoer - "Did you find anything?" Dad - "No, unfortunately my battery went dead... just like my ex-wife's 'curling iron' under her pillow."

There's many many more. I'll have to catalog them in some form. Let me know if you'd like to hear the life and times of Dick Phitzwell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rentz3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
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Dad joked my cat

Me and my boyfriend were sitting in bed watching a James Bond movie when my cat crawled under the blanket and curled beside me. I said to him "she's under cover". He pulled up the blanket and started blowing on her - I asked him what he was doing, and he said "blowing her cover".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rikeus
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2014
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So my cat can curl his tail...

So my wife and I have two cats. One of the cats was sitting in such a way that his tail was hanging down and it was curled into a spiral. My wife said how perfect of a spiral it was. I told her to stop giving the cat attention: he is just being a spiral cat ham.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pouzou
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2015
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Dadjoked my brother's roommate

While visiting my brother at college, he roommate came and started talking with us. He proceeded to pick up one of his dumbbells and start doing some curls. He then tells me, 'I like to fuck around with this thing from time to time." My response, 'Well I hope you clean it after each session." My brother could barely hold back his laughter while the roommate starred at me then shook his head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucysLubeJob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2014
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My dad talking about computer games

Me: I don't really like curling

Dad: You've gotta get the hang of it. It involves a lot of strategy. It's like chess.

Me: I don't really like chess either.

Dad: Well that's cause there's no mouse or toggle switch involved.

Me: Dad what's a toggle switch?

Dad: Not a toggle switch... Uh... What are those things called...

Me: Joysticks?

Dad: Yeah joysticks.

Me: Dad people don't use joysticks anymore.

Dad: So that's why people are so miserable all the time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YaM8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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Winter Olympics

At a bar and curling is on and I make the remark "isn't it just cleaning?" Then my dad says

"do you think they have the position called sweeper"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/physicalpixels
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2014
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