What did Bob Ross say when he heard of his wife's pregnancy?
why would Ross Geller be the perfect Jedi?
Because divorce is strong with him
Jonathon Ross forgot to record the new Star Wars film...
Rachel and Ross are in a stopped car.
Rachel asks "Why isn't this car moving?"
Ross turns to her: "We are on a break!"
I named my misting humidifier Bob Ross.
It's always making happy little clouds.
You know why Bob Ross was so chill?
My daughter told me she plans to major in Archeology...
I told her I don't know what that is, but I dig it!
How did Bob Ross direct a perfect movie?
Because there were no mis-takes, only happy little action-dents
Musical GPS
I'm so tired of musical GPS systems
Fleetwood mac keep telling me to go my own way, Bonnie tyler keeps telling me to turn around, and diana ross keeps telling me to stop in the name of love.
My wife wants a divorce because she says she is tired of me acting like a news anchor.
More on that story later.
The Betsy Ross stories about her sewing the first American flag might not be true
The story is likely a fabrication.
Kids these days probably think Supreme Court is...
a place where you judge shoes and shirts.
Breaking news: The cast of Friends have all made it back to shore alive after an incident where they got stuck at sea. Matt Le Blanc was quoted saying “The engines blew up, and none of us had any real experience with sailing, but it was okay...
What does the Supreme Court have that a regular court doesn’t?
Diced tomatoes and a dollop of sour cream.
Why did Ross Geller from Friends drown?
He wasn’t a good Schwimmer.
You know, Geology rocks.
But Geography is where it's at.
Did you know that the celebrityJonathan Ross was making illicit alcohol?
What would Bob Ross never paint?
I’m looking for punny popsicle names. I’d like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. I’m particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!
Ross and Rachel went for a drive and the car stopped abruptly. Wondering why, Ross looked at his legs and
What would Bob Ross be called if he was a dentist?
Which country did Usain Bolt move to after his retirement?
One thing you have to admit about Diana Ross...
She was a Supreme singer.
What do call the Bob Ross of Neverland?
What is Bob Ross' favorite type of food?
What I love about Bob Ross, is that he always has a happy touch on the entire landscape of the art of painting
What would happen if Bob Ross got shot?
I don't understand marine mammals
What porpoise do they serve
Betsy Ross was asked how she liked her job.
Her reply was "Eh. Sew-sew."
I can’t believe that even after 15 years of the show ending, people are still making “Friends” references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
If you bought a DeLorean...
Would you drive it a lot, or just from time to time?
What prehistoric animal was the queen of disco?
Me and my wife were on the sofa last night, getting all hot and steamy..
She whispered in my ear "Shall we take this upstairs"?
I replied "Go on then, you grab this end and I'll get the other"
Forgotten sibling
Everyone knows about famous painter Bob Ross but few have heard about his brother Albert who was famous for his 6 ft wingspan..
Showerthought: people with the name "Serendipity" are literally named "happy little accident".
Which we all know is Bob Ross speak for mistake.
Nearly all the funniest jokes at Edinburgh Fringe is dad jokes
The winner and the 9 runner ups: "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets"
- "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott
- "What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones
- "A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert
- "A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith
- "Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith
- "I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff
- "After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford
- "To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons
- "I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham
Why couldn't Ross and Rachel move on?
Because they were on a brake!
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