A bike. Because you say bye King.
We just call him Rev.
Theyβre calling it The Two Tires
It was known as the Nahasapeema-peloton.
It's our hey-ride.
Step 1.
Deerly departed.
Trikeceracop
they wheelie can
Turned to the wife and said "Do you like what I'm wearing?" (Lulling her into a false sense of security)
She smiles at me, blissfully unaware of my setup and thinking I'm just being cute.
"It's a son-hat." I say with a grin.
The groan she gave me told me I had done well.
is it a midget spinner?
After all, fare is fowl.
The horseβs name is Friday.
You can win pretty easily if you want to but it defeats the porpoise
Pretty sure it's carpool tunnel syndrome
Just so you know, heβs Carlos.
It started out well but then things went downhill pretty fast.
It's funny, because even though they were hitching a ride, the snake was the one getting toad.
You can only Lyft your spirits.
A metro-gnome.
Me: "A cemetery... huh?"
Dad: "Yep. I guess you could say people are dying to get here."
Me: "sdjfiojsdiofajdiafjioadsjf" slowly dies inside
Ooh brr.
(I literally made this joke up tonight and I'm a Dad)
It was a rollercoaster of emoticons.
He said βI havenβt seen you get out of the saddle once in the last 30 miles, are you hatching an egg down there or something?β And I said βYou know, if you keep giving me crap about this, I wonβt stand for it!β
A crocodile's back, on the other hand, really isn't a good thing to ride on.
But an elephant's back? Well... that's a grey area.
So that's a releif.
I told her I was two tired
My dad is a cop and im riding with him today. We drive past a cemetary and I ask "Do you spend alot of time in there?"
"Not really, but some people are just dying to get in there."
Her - We just left Salisbury. Me - How was the steak? H - You're funny. M - I know.
The guy was just coming out of the garage (which has three doors) And says, "No it's a three door".
Dad: I dunno, I'm kinda tired
Bro: Yeah, I don't think I could handle that right now
Dad: I think we've already spoken about this
Bro: Give me a brake, dad
Dad: What, you can't keep the chain of puns going?
Bro: I can kick it into a higher gear
Dad: I might have to reflect on your puns for a minute
Bro: As long as you don't tread over any of my good ones
Dad: Wheel see how long you can keep this up
Me: Hey, I like...bikes
Dad: ΰ² _ΰ²
Bro: ΰ² _ΰ²
Mom: β_β
I replied, you won't get very far in the garage
My family was in the car for several hours and my younger sister says"Dad I can't hold it" My dad replies "Hold what?" Sister "My pee, can we stop" Dad "me either it just slips through my fingers" wow
>Dad: We just ran over a dickfer. >Me: What's a dickfer? >Dad: Peein'
Then I realized I was listening to chill music. I turned it off and was instantly warmer.
Step 1.
Me: did you fix the brake on my bike? Dad: Give me a break!
