I was sitting at a red light with my family, when all of a sudden I said "Look, son! A super hero!"

It was the Green Arrow.

πŸ‘︎ 127
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that a car full of garlic, ginger, and lemongrass ran a red light in the middle of the city, injuring tens of people?

It was a fragrant disregard for public safety.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumbwaeguk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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A woman driving a minivan with 7 hyperactive kids gets pulled over for running a red light. The cop says β€œDon’t you know when to stop?” The woman says...

They’re not all mine.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaymanRich
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Two snails pulled up next to me at a red light.

When the light turned green they sped away.

I looked to my friend and said, β€œlook at that S car go!”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davidwayland
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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I just saw a AAA battery-delivery truck run a red light. Hope he doesn't get charged.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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Why did the traffic light go red?

Because it saw a pretty car.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/extremeavYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Did you hear about the guy that stopped at a red light?

It’s braking news!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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Why do traffic lights turn red?

You'd turn red too if you had to change in the middle of the street.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whomikehidden
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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What do you call a skinny person waiting at a red light ?

light-wait (get it, like lightweight)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yungWilly2004
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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Hamilton ran a red light last week

He was Non-stop

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonotoneYay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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People who run red lights are having a rough go of it.

You can tell they're really going through it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarecrow53
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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Man running a red light
πŸ‘︎ 404
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iplaymeinreallife
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2016
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Dad pulls up to a red light, Car next to him revs the engine and yells "race?"

Dad responds "Hispanic!"

πŸ‘︎ 714
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πŸ‘€︎ u/strider820
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2016
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Guy blew a red light and got into a pretty bad accident. A quick scan of the interior gives a pretty good idea of why he couldn't stop. (X-post from r/justrolledintotheshop)
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HowManyMonkeys
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do stop lights turn red?

well, what color would you be if you had to change in the middle of the street?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nohpetsallowed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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My friend Phil runs red lights.

It’s okay though. His business is contracted by the city to maintain them.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/firehead212
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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A friend of mine keeps running red lights...

he's really just gotta stop.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jazz-box
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2017
🚨︎ report
The guy behind me at a red light kept horsing around

http://i.imgur.com/Y1Jh0h3.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rickrandom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2016
🚨︎ report
Hitting red lights
  • Dad: "You said you'd be home in 10 minutes, it's been 20!"
  • Me: "Sorry, I hit every red light on the way here."
  • Dad: "Really? You must have been flying pretty high in the sky."
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cool_Cabbage
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2014
🚨︎ report
What did the green light say to the red light?

Don't look I'm changing.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the traffic light turn red?

It was embarrassed to change in the street!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_rollzzz_Royce_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jriizzyy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the red light say to the green light?

β€œDon’t look at me! I’m changing!”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cmaffeo3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look!! I'm changing!!

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconLord1401
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the traffic light turn red?

You would too, if you had to change in public!

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickyniceguy1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the red light say to the green light?

Don't look, I'm changing!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/summerfest2009
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2017
🚨︎ report
Why do traffic lights turn red?

You'd blush too if you had to change in front of all these people!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_smoke_trees
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2015
🚨︎ report

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