Not Ray!
πŸ‘︎ 269
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
My mom was a radiologist. She met my dad when he came in for an X-ray.

I wonder what she saw in him.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eastofthewall87
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
So I had a classmate in chemistry ask what would happen if we were to use gamma rays to cook food, so I said...

It would give a whole new meaning to nuking your food

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_bored_wolf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I jokingly told my X-ray technician that I didn't believe in X-rays...

but she saw right through me.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcdofras
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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For the charge of murder, the judge only gave Ray Liotta and Joe Pesci community service

because they were goodfellas

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sergioarmagh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do dentists call their x-rays?

Tooth pics

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Its been hard living with a Tampa Bay Rays fan
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackieLouCue
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't Ray Charles see his friends?

He's married.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZealousidealRise7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis?

Endless Love

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Blue Ray quality.
πŸ‘︎ 402
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFriman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My pet Ray fish died.

He is X Ray now.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my wife that our neighbour had died. β€˜Who, Ray?’ she said.

I didn’t think her cheering was appropriate.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liamjculshaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Her: No boo, I meant who and said your name. Ray: Why are you booing me?
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iamexceptional
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s at the center of a manta ray?

The manticore

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderAlex2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Never lie to an X-ray technician

they can see right through you

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I had my leg X-rayed today.

The doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm'. I said: 'Inch-high knees?' He said: 'ζ‚¨ηš„ι«Œιͺ¨ζ˜―2.54厘米高.'

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OilPhilter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
When pornstars go to hospital....

....do they get XXX rays ?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
A suspicious looking spacecraft landed on Earth to bring back to life ray-finned fish. But one spacecraft wasn't sufficient, so more arrived.

I think it was extra to restore eels

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m ready to bring my injectable coronavirus cleansers and gamma-ray beds to market

This is going to make a killing

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kjpunch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said he broke his tibia. Upon examining his X-rays, I can tell he lied...

It was a fibula.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Ray Tracing
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrNekoSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Ray Charles buy custom shoes?

He wanted better soul support

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Science_Geek_101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Ray: "I just learned our neighbor died."

Karen: "Who, Ray?"

Ray: "I don't think it's appropriate to cheer right now."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I have an irrational fear of Blu-ray players.

I just find them disc-inserting.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slmckay73
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
When the moon hits your eye, Like a big pizza pie, That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

πŸ‘︎ 684
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that dogs can’t read x-ray’s and MRI’s?

But catscan

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/varun_chakilam
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently started dating an x-ray technician who’s way out of my league.

I still don’t know what she sees in me.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nox1985
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A doctor was looking at a patient's X-rays.

Doctor: This is exactly what I was afraid of.

Patient: What is it, doctor?

Doctor: Skeletons.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arayakim
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
With trembling hands, my doctor looked up from my x-ray and stammered, "This is exactly what I was afraid of." Gripping my chest, I rasped, "What?"

Eyes wide, he whispered, "Skeletons!"

πŸ‘︎ 383
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad : Oh no! Our neighbor died!

Mom : Who, Ray?

Dad : I don't think cheering is appropriate Karen

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SunnySideUp145
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Told the x-ray technician I'm made of lead

But she could see right through me.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My dog can’t do an x-ray,

but my cats-can.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neonoic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Dogs can't read X-Rays amd MMR

but catscan

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0theoneandonly0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s so unethical for a dog to be a doctor. Dogs can’t control machines like x-rays. But catscan.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lostboy6807
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call dental X-rays?

Tooth pics.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do dentists call them "Dental x-rays" when they could just call them...

...Tooth pics

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Roxroxx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do dentists call their x-rays?

Tooth pics.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the core of a Manta Ray?

The Manticore

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderAlex2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I had my leg X-rayed today.

The doctor told me: "Your patella measures 2.54 cm." By surprise, I said: "Inch high knees?" The doctor replied: "δ½ ηš„ι«•ιͺ¨ε°Ίε―Έη‚Ί2.54厘米"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Minch2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2018
🚨︎ report
My mom was a radiologist. She met my dad when he came in one day for an x-ray.

I wonder what she saw in him

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/steffortless
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I have an irrational fear of Blu-ray players.

I just find them disc-inserting.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slmckay73
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
More Dogs can’t read an X-ray or MRI.

But catscan.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/khanglikestowin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call dental x-rays ?

Tooth pics

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VadimKu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Dogs can’t read an X-ray or an MRI.

But catscan.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jagerhero
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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