In Quebec, there's a popular dish with french fries, cheese curds and brown gravy.
Seriously, I'm not poutine you on.
I was going to write a long story about winter but it started getting too cold
So I just wrote a summery instead
Pulled a Dad Joke on a Nurse
I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.
She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.
A School Runs A Sports Carnival
"I'm going to have a field day with this" proclaims a student.
Finally my winter fat has gone...
Now, I have spring rolls.
What is it called when a bear puts its life on paws during the winter?
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
How do Mexicans keep warm in winter?
They use chicken fajitas…
What does a knight wear to keep warm in the winter?
Last winter, we went to a pool inside a hotel but we weren’t allowed to use the accessories worn on the feet to help us swim...
we felt bad and unhappy when the attendant said “no indoor fins!”
Carnival is offering a deluxe trip where you leave your senior citizens and kids behind in the snow..
They are calling it “Ted Cruise”
I met a guy doing math problems in winter
You could say he was a kind of cold and calculating guy
As the detective examined the crime scene at the carnival he came upon the man working the “Guess your weight” booth. The detective had the man arrested as an accomplice to the criminal.
He was charged with helping the criminal get a weigh.
Did you know that Spiderman has a winter jacket made entirely of Mediterranean flat bread.
My wife always criticizes me for wearing mittens instead of gloves in the winter.
But I don’t like to point fingers.
I was driving through Quebec, and a cop suddenly pulled me over eating fries and gravy.
It was a poutine traffic stop.
Which weapon does the Grim Reaper use in the winter?
I always keep an extra pair of gloves with me in the winter
They’re just a good thing to have on-hand
You are lost in winter but find a cabin. You find it has a fireplace, a kerosene lamp and a stove, but you only have one match. What item in the cabin do you light first?
My friend asked me how many clowns I saw at the carnival today and I said
I thought all the trees were broken when they lost their leaves this winter. They're starting to come back now though.
I'm planning to implement a new weight-loss method that will require people to wear winter gloves making it harder for them to eat.
I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".
I met my friend at the carnival.
Did Texas survive last week’s winter storms?
What do the Three Stooges sell at a carnival stand?
Why should you never wear moccasins outside during Winter?
Because it can get a little slippery out there.
Google Maps: Your route may be affected by winter storm Uri.
I hope you’re not in a Uri.
What do you call an American living in Russia during the winter?
I was watching my son play a Zelda game and I told him it's more effective to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons. He looked at me all confused and asked why? I told him it's because...
that way you won't take any fall damage.
Me: how about we both decide to go to the carnival?
I have always preffered winter more than summer
Because in winter you can keep adding more layers until you are warm but in summer you can only take off so many before you are arrested
What's the most dangerous part of New York in the winter?
I thought I could hear Tubular Bells on my farm this winter...
But it was just my cold field.
My wife complains that I'm getting fat. So this winter I decided to diet.
It's called inter"mitten" fasting to keep my hands of food
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.
She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that he’s cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. She’s puzzled for a second and then says:
Icy, what you did there.
I dropped the perfect terrible pun at work last winter...
So there were 6 of us...
With freezing rain pouring down on us at the end of a long work day, and in the middle of a daunting task- pulling underground cables, linking four transformers together (a task where something goes wrong about 50% of the time)
There is a jet line (pulling line) attached to the head of the cable being ran, and as we are nearing completion I hear my foreman (standing at the endpoint) yell "THE JET LINE IS FRAYING!!!".
Without pause I scream back "I was a FRAYED this would happen!"
The tension on the line ceases, and I look around and see 5 blank expressions just staring back at me.
Best day of my comedic life
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
What do you call a dog in winter?
I was unprepared for a pun about Canadian winter hats...
It really toque me by surprise!
Dads everywhere, every winter solstice at sunset
I was going to write a long story about winter but it started getting too cold
So I just wrote a summary
My winter fat is all gone...
I thought all the trees were broken when they lost their leaves this winter. They're starting to come back now though.
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