Po on Puns

A portmanteau

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...

1. Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
2. Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
3. See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
4. Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
5. Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
6. Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
7. I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8. I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
9. It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
10. I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
11. This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
12. staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
13. He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
14. Your body odor is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
15. Great... Fa Kin Su Pah

I know this guy right? He went and filled up his tank with fuel at the servo. He didn't put the hose in properly so it click and the 91 fuel splashed back onto him. He didn't think anything of it and just let it dry and went and paid for it. He's a smoker and on the way home from the servo he lights one up and his arm catches on fire. Fuck man, he was freaking out! So he puts his arm out the window to put the fire out. Next thing you know, the po po pull out behind this bloke, lights and sirens blaring! He got pull over and was arrested for an unregistered fire arm

This starts and ends at the local coffee shop I go to on the way to work. My cashier takes my order; sausage, egg & cheese with salt, pepper, ketchup and hot sauce, on toasted rye. She taps away for a moment on the iPad POS then looks up and says "and a name for the sandwich?" to which I quickly raise my chest and proclaim "Breakfast!". To this all 6 people in the shop, including the cashier started chuckling.

[drop mic]

My daughter (who's 8) is already working on her Dad jokes. Just got this text:

> Dada! In Star Wars C3-PO was caught red handed! > > C3PO's hand was red! > > Anddddd I bet that he was caught by the empire red handed and got his red hand!

Never been prouder.

I was working the register (took a pity shift in the front end department) when I ran out of pennies. I paged my boss to come over and get me change.

Boss: Look, you have a penny on your POS, and I have one in my pocket here.

Me: That may not last very long, can I still get change?

Customer: C'mon man, cut the guy a break. He's just putting in his 2 cents on the situation.

His daughter groaned.

I was on the john, and my wife was making me tea, and asked me if I wanted it on the throne, so I responded "No thanks, I don't want any po-TEA." Cue groans.

I asked if he could help me with some POs for items being returned to vendors.

He asked me to "hang on"

I immediately grabbed the door handle and the side of the door I was next too and said "like this?"

He rolled his eyes but I felt somewhat proud

We were on our way home from the store and we came up to an intersection and stopped. I was looking around and he says "Hey look, they're selling Huges!" I looked around and asked him what he was talking about as he proceeded to poing to a store with a big sign that said, "HUGE SALE!". Groans were made.