Peter Kostic Puns

#FT: Eintracht Frankfurt 1-2 Hertha Berlin

Eintracht Frankfurt scorers: Gonçalo Paciência (78' PEN)

Hertha Berlin scorers: Marco Richter (7'), Jurgen Ekkelenkamp (63')

Venue: Deutsche Bank Park

Auto-refreshing reddit comments link

LINE-UPS

Eintracht Frankfurt

Kevin Trapp, Makoto Hasebe, Obite Ndicka, Martin Hinteregger, Djibril Sow, Kristijan Jakic (Gonçalo Paciência), Filip Kostic, Timothy Chandler (Almamy Touré), Jesper Lindstrom (Daichi Kamada), Sam Lammers (Santos Borré), Jens Hauge.

Subs: Stefan Ilsanker, Erik Durm, Ajdin Hrustic, Tuta, Diant Ramaj.

^____________________________

Hertha Berlin

Alexander Schwolow, Niklas Stark, Dedryck Boyata, Marvin Plattenhardt, Peter Pekarik, Vladimír Darida (Kevin-Prince Boateng), Suat Serdar, Santiago Ascacibar, Krzysztof Piatek (Jurgen Ekkelenkamp), Maximilian Mittelstädt (Dennis Jastrzembski), Marco Richter (Ishak Belfodil).

Subs: Stevan Jovetic, Davie Selke, Oliver Christensen, Myziane Maolida, Marlon Morgenstern.

MATCH EVENTS | via ESPN

7' Goal! Eintracht Frankfurt 0, Hertha Berlin 1. Marco Richter (Hertha Berlin) header from very close range to the bottom right corner. Assisted by Vladimír Darida with a cross.

29' Kristijan Jakic (Eintracht Frankfurt) is shown the yellow card.

40' Marco Richter Yellow Card

45' Substitution, Eintracht Frankfurt. Almamy Touré replaces Timothy Chandler.

45' Substitution, Eintracht Frankfurt. Daichi Kamada replaces Jesper Lindstrom.

60' Substitution, Eintracht Frankfurt. Rafael Borré replaces Sam Lammers.

61' On: Jurgen Ekkelenkamp|Off: Krzysztof Piatek

61' Substitution, Hertha Berlin. Ishak Belfodil replaces Marco Richter.

63' Jurgen Ekkelenkamp Goal

69' On: Gonçalo Paciência|Off: Kristijan Jakic

73' On: Dennis Jastrzembski|Off: Maximilian Mittelstädt

78' Gonçalo Paciência Penalty - Scored

83' Substitution, Hertha Berlin. Kevin-Prince Boateng replaces Vladimír Darida.

89'

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Buenosdillas

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

Nothing, he was gladiator.

You can find Part One here. Part Three is up!

If you’re new to this project, then basically I’m going through the letters of the alphabet and working out which letter has the strongest corresponding football team, using surnames (e.g Eric Dier = D-team) and recognised mononyms (Ederson Moraes, commonly known as Ederson = E-team) to compile the squads. Each letter has a squad of 23 players and a corresponding manager, too. At the end, there might be a community vote or a sim tournament - I haven’t got Football Manager so I’d need to buy it and learn how to use it first.

Right. Before we get started, a few parish notices:

• Thank you, awarders. I don’t want to get all “ThAnKs fOr tHe GoLd KiNd StRaNgEr!”, but I was very scared that the first post would end up dying on its arse in New and I’d end up looking like a complete mug for investing time in it. So thank you for your generosity/financial profligacy/dopamine. Also, thank you to everyone who interacted with Part 1 :)
• Shout outs to u/Responsible-Score, u/riquelme__fan (class username), u/NotHarryRedknapp (ditto), u/Chromate_Magnum, u/Goldaniga, u/Shogeball, u/The__Malteser, u/scriabins_mysterium, u/matsumotoout, u/Emirosen and u/heraho, because you suggested players that I forgot or missed. And, without you, I’d have a big ol’ batch of egg on my face. I’m afraid I can’t guarantee I’ll remember every player this time round either - there are SO many potential minefields here - so please do keep the suggestions coming :)

That’s enough of that, don’t want to get too self-congratulatory.

On to the main event: the teams.

Now, I expected this post to lose interest, because G, H, I, J, K and L are - to put it bluntly - the dull letters. When you’re a child and you’re reciting the alphabet, the upper middle - this part - is the boring bit: you do ABCDE, then you’re really waiting for MNOP, aren’t you?

Well, think again, dear reader! Yes, the last post was the launch post, the NEXT post (M-S) has arguably the most stacked and strongest teams, and the one after that (T-Z) has arguably the most *interesting* teams, but there’s a lot to grab your attention here, too. There are some real giants of the game here. Haaland! Griezmann! Kane! Lewandowski! Daniel James!

So,

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

#FT: Eintracht Frankfurt 1-2 Hertha Berlin

Eintracht Frankfurt scorers: Gonçalo Paciência (78' PEN)

Hertha Berlin scorers: Marco Richter (7'), Jurgen Ekkelenkamp (63')

Venue: Deutsche Bank Park

Auto-refreshing reddit comments link

LINE-UPS

Eintracht Frankfurt

Kevin Trapp, Makoto Hasebe, Obite Ndicka, Martin Hinteregger, Djibril Sow, Kristijan Jakic (Gonçalo Paciência), Filip Kostic, Timothy Chandler (Almamy Touré), Jesper Lindstrom (Daichi Kamada), Sam Lammers (Santos Borré), Jens Hauge.

Subs: Stefan Ilsanker, Erik Durm, Ajdin Hrustic, Tuta, Diant Ramaj.

^____________________________

Hertha Berlin

Alexander Schwolow, Niklas Stark, Dedryck Boyata, Marvin Plattenhardt, Peter Pekarik, Vladimír Darida (Kevin-Prince Boateng), Suat Serdar, Santiago Ascacibar, Krzysztof Piatek (Jurgen Ekkelenkamp), Maximilian Mittelstädt (Dennis Jastrzembski), Marco Richter (Ishak Belfodil).

Subs: Stevan Jovetic, Davie Selke, Oliver Christensen, Myziane Maolida, Marlon Morgenstern.

MATCH EVENTS | via ESPN

7' Goal! Eintracht Frankfurt 0, Hertha Berlin 1. Marco Richter (Hertha Berlin) header from very close range to the bottom right corner. Assisted by Vladimír Darida with a cross.

29' Kristijan Jakic (Eintracht Frankfurt) is shown the yellow card.

40' Marco Richter (Hertha Berlin) is shown the yellow card.

45' Substitution, Eintracht Frankfurt. Almamy Touré replaces Timothy Chandler.

45' Substitution, Eintracht Frankfurt. Daichi Kamada replaces Jesper Lindstrom.

60' On: Santos Borré|Off: Sam Lammers

61' Substitution, Hertha Berlin. Jurgen Ekkelenkamp replaces Krzysztof Piatek.

61' On: Ishak Belfodil|Off: Marco Richter

63' Jurgen Ekkelenkamp Goal

69' Substitution, Eintracht Frankfurt. Gonçalo Paciência replaces Kristijan Jakic.

73' On: Dennis Jastrzembski|Off: Maximilian Mittelstädt

78' Gonçalo Paciência Penalty - Scored

83' Substitution, Hertha Berlin. Kevin-Prince Boateng repl