I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
If you’ve ever wanted to play Chopin on the piano or need some advice for his more difficult works, this article is for you. The first 5 points cover some of the techniques you need to master to play Chopin on the piano, and the second 5 points focus on expression, how to take your playing from being just note correct to a piece of beauty.
Chopin’s work is beloved for its depth of expression that is just built in to the music itself. These five points will help you tap into that and show you how you can begin to interpret the music in your own unique way.
1. Choose Pieces Around the Right Level for You
This might seem like a obvious one, but the tricky part comes with knowing what level you are as a pianist and what level a piece is.
The goal should be to work on a few pieces at a time: one that you can nail in a couple of weeks, one that will take a month, and one that will likely take longer. You can use level numbers to help you figure that out, but it’s also important to pay attention to the specific skills that you struggle with the most, as that will add learning time onto pieces that have those skills (at least until you get comfortable with them!).
Examples of skills would be fast arpeggios, chromatic scales, homophonic (chordal) playing, large leaps, things like that.
While you can use the many level numbering systems out there to serve as a sort of guide, you do need to also look through a piece and pay attention to the skills you’ll need to play it.
If you haven’t played any scales at all ever, it’s probably not a great idea to play the Etude in A Minor, Op. 25 No. 11, “Winter Wind,” for example. It’s full of fast arpeggios and scales that go up and down the entire length of the piano.
Etude in A Minor, Op. 25 No. 11, “Winter Wind”
If you’re new to Chopin, Alfred’s has a great book of his easier pieces: Chopin: An Introduction to His Piano Works.
Additionally, you can visit IMSLP.org (free, public domain sheet music—just don’t click on the ads…I’ve had people do that and given their credit card info away…you won’t need to enter any payment info on IMSLP). They have a handy sort by instrument and difficulty level, so here’s [that page for piano](https://imslp.org/wiki/Special:Diff
... keep reading on reddit ➡Here’s a list of things that were hard to find answers for and took a lot of googling, some of these may have a question mark ? and hopefully the community can provide answers. Add on some more tips if I miss anything.
As customary:
"If you start hearing this music, you're already dead."
General:
-move your mouse to the right of the screen at the fuel fill-up shop to see ammunitions and ordinance, every city has some.
-special ammunition and missiles are expensive, replacing destroyed ship parts is expensiver.
-special ammo is shared through your whole fleet inventory, regardless of which craft or group buys it. Salvaged or bought ship parts/missiles are not (?), and detachments must link up with the flagship or other groups to share parts.
-you can choose a (slightly) longer aiming line in the options.
-when the dialogue says north, it's not a bearing, just a general direction. If its says far north, it could be up to 4000km away, or around 4 city jumps. If it doesn't say far, it should usually be within 2000km.
-text that has two pairs of numbers separated by degree signs are coordinates, which change based on mouse location and can be found in the bottom right of the screen
-Write notes on your map in the free or unused space you have, it may clutter your screen but the game has a bad habit of not recording some info, or making it a runaround to find.
-tracking down a radio signal will unpause the game.
-Losing a campaign will contribute starting money to your next campaign based on how many kills and cities you get. Doing worse on the next campaign will reduce that(?)
>u/sk_2013 - Doing worse does not appear to reduce it.
-Cipher keys change every time you go north to a new chunk of cities.
-Low morale <5/6 will cause your crew to ask themselves: "Are we the baddies?" which can subsequently lead to having to execute that ship the next time you fight.
-read the manual
Cities/Shops/Repairyards:
-Intel cities regenerate intel over time.
>u/CloakAndDaggr - Intel regenerates one point per 24 hours
-Docking at a city for longer than 12ish hours will turn it dangerous. 24 and it turns hostile. these values never revert. (Is it cumulative among different ships?)
>u/CloakAndDaggr - Yes, danger levels persist between different ship groups and a city will get ticked off if any of the imperials are in the city for too long
-If an alarm goes off and your clock turns red, that m
... keep reading on reddit ➡I am a retired Private Investigator turned Real Crime Blogger. I have been receiving anonymous manuscripts in the mail detailing heinous acts of appalling psychopathy.
For reasons concerning my work and this situation, I don’t want to give you my true Identity. You can refer to me as Mr. S. I started in my early years as a detective. As you know, I was highly effective at my job, and before long I started taking much higher paying jobs as a freelance Private Investigator. Over the years, I have solved several high-profile cold murder cases.
Unfortunately, in a work-related attack, I was seriously injured and retired from my job as a Private Investigator 5 years ago. Since then, I have started a well-known Real Crime blog and podcast.
Recently, I started to receive handwritten manuscripts from an anonymous source in the mail detailing heinous acts of dark psychopathy. No return address.
Although it’s been some time since I received the second manuscript, today, I received a third manuscript. As soon as I pulled the large brown envelope from my mailbox, I knew what it was. On the outside of this third envelope, the following message was written:
“In order to achieve greatness, one must find their weaknesses, understand them, and destroy them”
Below is the third manuscript. This manuscript was titled, “Finding Adeline.”
If you have not yet read the first two manuscripts, you should read those first using the links below.
Journal of a Psychopath: High School
Journal of a Psychopath: University
Be warned, I believe that what you are about to read is the Journal of a Psychopath.
TRIGGER WARNING! The following manuscript contains themes including child abuse, sexual assault, and Violence
Finding Adeline
I had just finished my Junior year at the University. I elected to take summer courses to avoid getting smothered by Sarah all summer, especially given her newest life choices. When I’d gone home for Christmas break, Dean and Sarah sat me down to tell me the “exciting news.”
“You’re going to be a big brother!” Sara
... keep reading on reddit ➡Do your worst!
We just created a new table at GLUMDARK with travel encounters:
https://www.glumdark.com/?tableName=Travel%20Encounters
You can roll a d20 here or use the digital dice rolling tool at the link above, which is what I usually do at the table. Enjoy!
| Your Dice | The Encounter |
|---|---|
| 1 | A group of pyromaniacal raiders are burning a country cottage with the family still inside. |
| 2 | An old man approaches you and offers to pay you a sack of gold to record an impression of your face with his magical recording machine. Anyone who agrees to the bargain will awaken the next day having aged several years. |
| 3 | A young boy and his huge red dog are fending off a pack of wolves. |
| 4 | A troll guards a bridge and charges the answer to a riddle. His invisible ally will rob the party as they attempt to solve the riddle. The riddle goes as follows: What gets lighter the longer it stands still? |
| 5 | A thick quicksand covers the road. Pulling anyone from it will only cause them to be sucked in harder. Extreme heat or cold, however, will reverse the reaction and release the grip. |
| 6 | An old haggard woman with blackened teeth and deep set red eyes is shambling down the road. She begs you to kill her but she won't say why. Once slain, the woman will return to life in the form of a beautiful young maiden and pass the curse to you. The next person to deal you a mortal blow will be passed the curse, but telling anyone the details of it will cause it to become permanent. |
| 7 | You come upon a beautiful pond which does not appear on your map. Swimming in it during the day will provide healing properties and feelings of immense joy. At night, tendrils reach from the pond's bottom and attempt to drown anything which enters. |
| 8 | A traveling salesman is selling beautiful exotic birds which he claims bring good fortune and can be trained to talk and warn of danger. If purchased, the birds will fly off after a few days and return to the salesman. |
| 9 | A white rabbit crosses the road in front of you. If you follow it deeply into the woods, you will become impossibly lost and see wild colorful visions. After a few days, you will find yourself back on the road. |
| 10 | It begins to rain a strange sticky, cold rain which penetrates your clothing. Without soon taking cover and drying your clothes, you'll begin to die from hypothermia. |
| 11 | You notice a bag with the word "gold" written on in it in several languages. It is hanging |
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
A/N
I promise this one is nowhere near as "philosophy" heavy as the other two. Thank you for checking this story and/or other stuff I've written so far out, it means a lot!
As always, comments, thoughts, errors welcome.
Other entries in the Third War Journals:
- AI Theory Guest Speaker, Attendance Mandatory
- Intro to Practical Philosophy, General Education
- And Their Rallying Cry (you are here)
///
He could not let it go.
Something about the recording had just been off. Aspect ratio manipulated, pixels in the tens and hundreds missing on the highest definition copies of the approximate time. Not tens of or hundreds of thousands like most jamming or censorship, but literal tens, literal hundreds. An entire substratum of data just up and missing from every video feed around the same place and same time across every scrap of material he got his appendages on.
He made it his semester-long goal to get to the bottom of this conundrum. Floating the idea past his professor, an adjunct who often taught when in the neighborhood of the Eternal City, she bristled in a way that initially told him no. After waiting a day, she turned around to approve using the pursuit as credit for the class. Her reaction was in and of itself worthy of investigation, but he opted in favor of not wrapping up more than he could consume in a sitting.
And so, the eight-limbed arachnid student sat at his desk. Sitting in a chair specially designed by his kind, he was able to utilize each tarsus to manipulate his computer equipment while the bulk of his thorax and equivalent of chest reclined into the furniture. It would have been comfortable except for the fact that he had been awake for nearly thirty standard hours straight.
The door to the dormitory opened, hydraulic hiss as it receded into the wall to accept his roommate, then again as it moved back to shut with a series of clicks. One of his eight eyes flicked over at the movement, recognition, then went back to his work.
“Ahskha’rhot, there’s a very sweet Therphosaii that you might want to meet if you can take a break for once,” his roommate said, dropping their pack of academic texts and supplies on a desk next to his. “She’s even in another class with us, and-… did you even
... keep reading on reddit ➡They’re on standbi
Buenosdillas
The official news release that contains images of three seismic lines and which is the basis for this analysis can be found here:
The initial results confirmed Dr. James Granath's hypothesis that the Kavango Basin is a rift basin. He discussed this hypothesis in a presentation to the Houston Geological Society on October 25, 2021. The transcripts for this event can be found here (note that part 1 is dedicated to Recon Africa and the Kavango basin while part 2 only includes a Q&A session about the Kavango basin at the end).
Dr. James Granath HGS Presentation - Part 1
Dr. James Granath HGS Presentation - Part 2
At the end of this post you will find a link to the initial seismic interpretation (which precedes this analysis) and another link providing additional information for new investors.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Our geology expert from Discord has prepared additional interpretation of line 1 of the seismic survey which now includes resource estimates.
https://preview.redd.it/48ch1m5g99381.jpg?width=973&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=feaa90060973f7932145cfad27ed0edd9524f567
https://preview.redd.it/eryebm2h99381.jpg?width=915&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5a14a3ac8e508b0c14f9817b71b124b6f6583852
https://preview.redd.it/xohlwbph99381.jpg?width=915&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a4d94d1e27cc6fc13ced402b9a842c52a7dff01d
https://preview.redd.it/7n45o9ei99381.jpg?width=915&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=18f1fa0078f85d2b53687dc911a877bf039871aa
https://preview.redd.it/z7ytwk3j99381.jpg?width=915&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eaf785767af61612df49cd8a7d6f749456b39d2e
UPDATE - 12/08/2021
This display shows my guess (
... keep reading on reddit ➡Taking off in a spaceship is one of the most uniquely terrifying things I’ve ever experienced. You sit waiting, strapped into a seat with your body flipped ninety degrees, facing the sky like you’re waiting for a rollercoaster ride to start. As preflight checks go on and on endlessly, you just sit there uncomfortably waiting. Everything is done remotely so there is nothing for you to do but listen.
As the preflight checks finish, systems begin to turn on beneath you one by one. Clicks and groans and strange noises of things engaging fill your ears as your heart begins to pound with anticipation. It feels as if a giant creature is waking up beneath you. Then the countdown begins.
Once you hear the word zero, it’s hard to think of anything. Your adrenaline takes over as a rumbling roar begins to reverberate the entire ship and your body with it. You feel yourself being lifted into the air and then a kick rattles you to your bones as the main engines engage. That’s when things really start to get gnarly.
The weight of the G-forces pressing down on your chest makes it difficult to breathe as you shake like a paint can getting mixed at the hardware store. Your entire body feels so heavy it sinks back into the chair and you feel like you weigh a million billion pounds. The next sensation is like a punch being driven into your gut and all over your entire body - refusing to release, not letting up. You feel as if your bones will break from the pressure, as if your heart will be flattened and your brain will melt.
Then slowly it begins to dissipate. It takes a few moments for you to realize, while you recover from what just happened, but it dawns on you suddenly. You feel different. You suddenly weigh nothing at all.
The only thing preventing you from floating around the cabin is the straps holding you in place. The flight only lasts for a few minutes so you can’t take those off, but you can imagine what it would feel like if you did. Especially after all those times riding the vomit comet.
I looked over at the billionaire’s face to see him smiling wide. I don’t want to say his name here. I’m afraid of the consequences if I do. Even more so after what happened. So I’ll just call him Jay.
Looking out the window, I could see the earth far down below us, speeding past at high speeds. The sensation was surreal and I couldn’t help but join Jay in grinning wide as we watched the beautiful world pass by down below.
The o
... keep reading on reddit ➡This is quite long but I had time to process my feelings on everything.
tldr: fast and furious, didn't get everything I wanted from the process but ended up with a very happy and healthy baby girl and no complications
On Tuesday, Dec 7th, I had gone to bed feeling totally normal, albeit a little anxious being one day after my due date. I was worried I might have to be induced at some point because I had absolutely no sign of upcoming labor, apart from some Braxton hicks. I only realized later on that I had been having them for quite some time but just didn’t recognize it – tightening of my stomach without pain, feeling “full”.
My husband and I went to sleep when I woke up in the middle of the night with a little bit of stomach pain. Like a light menstrual cramp. I woke up another one or two times but it wasn’t too concerning as I was able to go back to sleep promptly after.
I woke up around 8am and came downstairs to see my husband making his breakfast. I let him know I had some weird stomach pain and today “might be the day” (or maybe tomorrow). I advised he not wait too long to go to the market to get some groceries – just in case – when I felt another little cramp while I ate my breakfast. Around 11am my husband got back and I had maybe felt one more stomach pain but again it wasn’t too bad. We made a banana/cashew/almond milk milkshake and I decided to go upstairs to lay down and rest up. Again, just in case.
I was not able to really nap, so I just watched some Netflix. Around 2pm, I noticed having more of these feelings and realized that within my 20 minute episodes of the Office, which I was watching for the millionth time, I had at least one of these feelings. I quickly googled what contractions felt like and it seemed to check out (though I wasn’t sure) and I thought to myself, “Well, I better get one of those contraction counter apps I guess”.
The app is pretty simple: when the pain starts, hit the button, when it stops, hit the button again. It then gives you a green smiley, yellow neutral face, and a red sad face. You select the intensity. This tracks the intervals between contractions and lets you know where things are at. This is super important because when you feel these pains, you’re not really sure how much time is elapsing.
Several weeks prior, we had been to the midwife to ask about when we should call to have them examine me and they told me about the 5 -1 -1 rule. When the contractions
... keep reading on reddit ➡
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
I'm learning a lot about production and have this question on my mind. Irrelevant to this but another question: what do you record in mono and what do you record in stereo?
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
Whenever I asked for her help, she always made me feel like I was annoying her.
For a while, it was obvious that we needed a new mailbox post, as ours was rotted and about to fall over. So despite the fact that I had never done something like this before, I dug out the old post, got an old posthole digger running, made the new hole, realized it wasn't wide enough, went out and bought a new auger bit, re-dug the hole, cut and chiseled out some half-lap joints into some 4x4s, cut out some accents on the ends, made a support, and got it all joined together. The point I guess is that I did a lot of stuff (this took me all day), and all I needed was some help holding the post upright while I poured the concrete and soaked it. I was in a really good mood after I got the post put together, I was proud of how good everything looked and how sturdy it was.
The 10-ish minutes I had her help me were awful; she got visibly irritated when I asked her to help me, she groaned and kept asking "How much longer do I have to be out here?", and when it came time to level it before hosing down the cement mix, she just got so irritated anytime I tried to readjust the post. Eventually, I asked her if something had happened at work or something that was upsetting her, or if something was going on. She just groaned again and said, "No, I just want to hurry up so I can go back inside."
Everyday I pull into my driveway, I see a mailbox that isn't perpendicular to the road; not because I didn't notice it, but because she made me so nervous just to ask to turn it a little bit, I just did my best with leveling it and let it go so she could go back inside. I spent all day on something we needed, and I was in a really good mood because I felt successful, and she just spiked that happiness into the ground because I was taking up her time.
For context, I went above and beyond to do anything for her; on top of doing almost all the chores around the house while we both worked full time and went to school, I helped her with her schoolwork for her Master's degree. I would stay up with her for hours just reading her essays to help proofread, and even learn more about the subject just so I could help her write a coherent sentence. Amongst other things, like helping her with technical issues at school, setting up recording equipment for an assignment, and even acting in a video project she had to do. But I just feel really sad, I feel really used, like I was taken advantage of, and I
... keep reading on reddit ➡
