Aware Wolf
Turns out it was a big dill. I’m allergic.
they're always like, "Notes me, senpai"
But I dont have any money
Crickets.
Me: So Stop, Collaborate, and Listen?
I told her, "I do pay attention. I just don't always leave a very good tip."
Had a blonde moment
Or something like that.
The young guy says, “That’s okay. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a bit anxious.”
The old guy says, “Well maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, “She is 28 years-old, tall, with brown hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs and she’s wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?”
The old guy says, “Doesn't matter, let’s look for yours.”
I’ll try harder in 2018.
I worked right thru my coffee break !
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
The head veterinarian at a zoo noticed something alarming in a patient’s record. A monkey that had been a healthy weight at its last checkup was now recorded as being only half that.
Fearing for the monkey’s health, he went and saw it, expecting it to be sickly and skeletal. However, the monkey seemed totally normal. Confused told his staff to weigh the monkey again.
They did, but the number they reported was still astonishingly low. Sure it was a mistake, he went to weigh the monkey for himself. But when he put the monkey on the scale, it showed a number that was still far too low, and couldn’t possibly be right.
After a moment he spotted the problem: behind the scale was a grab bar on the wall, and the monkey had stealthily grabbed it with its tail, and was supporting some of its weight off the scale that way.
So the monkey's weight was fine, they just weren't paying attention to de tail.
"You're all a bunch of phonies!"
I was playing a video game, and the protagonist mutters "I don't remember this place."
Dad: "I don't either!"
Me: "Maybe you should pay attention more!"
Dad: "Eh, Attention doesn't deserve the money."
One example of this was his tendency to drive down One Way roads, going the opposite direction.
My mother would say, "Hun, it's a one way road."
To which he'd respond, "Good thing I'm only going one way."
What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.
A few minutes later she came back and my husband wasn’t paying attention so I said “give her another, dad.” And he responded with “what’s wrong with the dad she’s got?”
My dad then proceeded to say "Asia!" Of course we were confused so then he said "What? I thought we were naming continents."
One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean.
Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.
The king knows this and he knows that only a small portion of his populace can ever hope to become one of the respected elite, let alone hold one of their masterpieces in their own hands. Being a very just and fair man, the king ordered the most senior watchmaker in the land to create something the likes of which had never been seen. A watch of such great craftsmanship so as to be above monetary value. The man labored long and hard for many nights to produce the king's watch. When he at last presented the completed work to his lord - in front of the entire nation, no less - he was met with thunderous applause and a warm embrace. He had done it! The king then made a shocking announcement.
"This masterpiece belongs to my people!"
When the roaring of the crowd died down he continued.
"This watch shall be a symbol of my love for all of you. Though I rule over you with supreme authority I do not wish a single one of you to feel that you do not have a voice in the ruling of this nation. From this day on let anyone who doubts my decisions or questions my judgment wear this watch and stand as my equal to voice their concerns. Should even a single one of you think me unfair or wrong in any matter then simply come to my castle and I will present you this token of good faith."
The king made good on his word and from that day on all citizens knew they held the right to challenge their king's rulings. Over time the watch became a symbol of fairness throughout the land. Anyone who wore it
... keep reading on reddit ➡He wasn't paying attention to current events.
I just came to my feat!
sees you later or in a while.
She said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
By paying attention to whether it sees you later, or in a while
by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while
and that I have to pay more attention when I pick him up from school.
By paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
