On the Line Puns

So she decided to steel it

Turns out I had barely scratched the Surface.

It was level pegging.

Then the owner came out giving free burgers and hotdogs to everybody there.

It was the best barber queue ever!

.....and that’s when I drew the line.

...turned out grainy.

it was a total Stihl

Father-in-Law: And do people actually adhere to it? Me: No, cuz they put it sticky side down.

If you ask me, that was pretty telepathetic of him.

I have no words for how angry I am.

He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.

As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.

A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.

When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,

“Excuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”

“It’s simple, ma’am.” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. “I’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”

Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.

“Ya see, ma’am? The real_joke’s always in the condiments!"

I was checking out a chequered Czech check-out chick who was checking out some chicken at the checkout.

Do you have to Q to P?

Then I noticed they were outside the mint.

So I figure a pick up truck should cover both bases

E-gypt

"Tell him I can't see him right now."

That was the punch line.

When It came to the magical moment, I asked "how would you like toupee."

"Undeterred" / "Undie turd"

'cause he was Stalin!

Bob.

... Or when they're feeling peckish do they just hit up the Allahu Snackbar?

I told her that she could sit if she wanted to.

My coach said that I was not performing up to the mark.

"Sorry boss... I just can't keep up! You told me to give each Elmo two test tickles!"

"Hooked on phonics worked for me!"

Turns out it was a cold caller!

Re: Cyst

Never gamble with your laundry.

"Ya know, if they put out a warrant for your arrest for stealing those potatoes you would be on the yam."