My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
I made some of my favourite puns into drawings to go on t shirts that I’ve put online! This one is my favourite ‘High Steaks Poker’
My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
What did Baby Yoda say the first time he watched The Mandalorian on a high-def screen?
Not HDMI, because Baby Yoda can't speak.
I had a girlfriend in high school that I dumped when I found out she was missing a toe on her left foot...
I guess that makes me lack-toes intolerant.
For my next performance I will sort out my checking account while on a high wire
My wife asked, “Honey, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? It’s too high for me.”
It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.
I saw a radio on sale for only a dollar. Only catch was the volume was stuck on high.
I realized, I can’t turn this down.
My girlfriend drew her eyebrows on too high
What do frogs get high on?
My high school bully once drew a zero on my face with a magic marker
He really did a number on me
What do Pirates get high on?
I stormed into the library today demanding to know why the book on high conflict personalities I'd ordered still wasn't in.
"It's not our fault" said the librarian,
"That's the one" I replied.
On which type of bus does everybody get high?
Must have been high on coke.
I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows on too high the other day,
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from my high school keep flooding back to me.
I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
Teaching cows to walk on a tightrope is a high-stakes game.
I was never able to ask my crush out on high school because I was math nerd
I guess I was 2² to ask her out
When I was in high school, our prank was to release pigs with 1,3 and 5 painted on them.
After looking for 2 and 4 like crazy they thought...... That's odd
What does a duck get high on?
When you are high on weed and you wanna get laid with your crush Mary... How would you propose
marijuana do it ?.... Haha lol for those of you who geddit
I wish I was high on pot-enuse
What do birds get high on?
I told my friend she had drawn her eyebrows on too high...
Playing poker with cows on drugs is playing with high steaks.
[On a date] Her: So, what were you like in high school?
Me: You know there’s always a guy who drives a fancy car and has sex with all the cheerleaders?
Her: Yeah?
Me: I’m the guy who taught him calculus.
My wife and I were arguing on an airplane. She was trying to convince me to join the mile high club...
I told her,
"I'm sorry, but I don't give a flying fuck."
I saw an ad on Craigslist for a free radio. The only thing wrong with it was that the volume knob was stuck on high.
I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down."
What do you call a rodent high on life?
While my wife and I were dating in high school we were at this church lock in. I said, “Can’t wait till we get outta here and I can plant one on ya” she said, “What kinda flower”
No hesitation I say, “Tulips”
I told my girlfriend she'd drawn her eyebrows on too high.
She didn't say anything, but she looked very surprised.
I'm a man who likes to drive with high heels on...
What do fish get high on?
Whenever I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments of my high school days come flooding back to me.
I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows on too high.
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
Told my gf she was drawing her eyebrows too high on her forehead...
Told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows on too high
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all my embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
I told the missus she drew her eyebrows on too high...
I told my wife she'd drawn her eyebrows on too high.
I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows on too high.
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