On earth the English alphabet has 26 letters, but only 25 in outer space.
The Earth asked the Moon out on a date. The Moon said no because...
The Earth has too many faults.
I have proof of my telepathic power, I can read what someone on the other side of the Earth is thinking
I just post something wrong on the internet
The last man on earth was taking a bath when suddenly
He felt a tap on his shoulder
Why have the aliens never visited us here on earth?
Because of the terrible reviews we got. We only have one star ⭐️
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on Earth?
It’s pasteurized before you even see it.
Last night I had a dream that I was responsible for culling half the living population on Earth.
Then I snapped out of it.
I just met the meanest person on earth
He was just average
From my 12 year old
The shittest joke on planet earth
Where is the one place you can legally touch A minor?
On a keyboard or piano
Where on earth do find the world's loudest fish?
If the richest guy on Earth became a Muslim…
Do you think he’d build an Elon Mosque?
on their website, I saw that Google Earth can even read maps backwards
i thought to myself, thats just spam
If Earthlings Live on Earth, and Martians Live on Mars. What lives on Pluto?
Have you noticed that there is no mention of any kind of mushroom on middle earth, through the entire LOTR trilogy?
It was created by a non fungi-ble Tolkien
EDIT: I’ll get my cloak and see my elf out
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
I told my kids they need to help the earth by cutting down on fossil fuels and meats.
Why is the Black Forest the most dangerous place on earth?
.
Because it’s full of Baums.
Cyanide derived from cedar wood is the most poisonous thing on earth.
That's why there's a Cedar Cyanide Hospital.
What’s the Fastest Growing City on Earth?
The capital of Ireland.
It’s Dublin every day.
What is the whitest country on Earth?
Who on earth is Noah Fence..?
And why do people keep mentioning him whenever they annoy me?
Was watching tv with the kids this weekend and an AppleTV screensaver of the earth came on. My daughter said, “You can see the atmosphere, that’s cool’”
I replied, “Yeah but it’s getting warmer these days.”
Why did Thor’s friends on earth think his brother was a chill dude?
Because Thor always referred to him as being low key.
Why are deep places on the planet called the "bowels of the earth"?
Because they're incontinent
Fire is most strange thing on earth
Still we take it lightly.
where can you find the hottest people on Earth??
Who among us are aliens on Earth?
What’s the most magical creature on earth?
A Harry Pottermus
(Courtesy of my 8 year old son)
I was feeling depressed. So my wife put her hand on my shoulder and said "Earth."
That meant the world to me.
A failed experiment on spiders resulted in them becoming Large enough as the mountains. Within hours the whole Earth was covered...
Little Johnny has diarrhoea and asks his mom, "Hey mom, do you have Viagra?" The mom goes, "What? What on Earth do you need that for?" "Well, isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"
Gravity is the most powerful force on Earth....
But if you remove it, you get gravy.
Why are the fastest land animals on Earth so bad at relationships?
Because they are cheetahs
If you're born on Earth Day, then it's your B-Earth-Day.
Ba-dum-tss
- Yes, I'm born on Earth Day
I quote the frog with the biggest ego on planet earth
I am 100% certain that I make the greatest microwaveable waffles on Earth
But you may think I'm just an Eggomaniac
What does Earth get on Earth day ?
What's the fastest liquid on earth?
Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on Earth?
It’s pasteurized before you can even see it!
Milk is the fastest liquid on earth
It’s pasteurized before you can even see it.
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?
It's pasteurized before you can even see it.
What's the fastest liquid on earth?
Milk. Its pasteurized before you can see it
What is the fastest liquid on earth?
Milk! It’s pasteurized before you even see it!
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