What did the green olive say to the purple olive?

BREATHE, GODDAMMIT, BREATHE!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rogers_philippe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2017
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When it comes to good quality olive oil, I feel sorry for green olives...

They must be under a lot of pressure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tirbert
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2016
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My wife asked if olive green was too much.

I said a little green is good but not olive it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gapmasta
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2017
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So my dad asked me what was on the inside of green olives

Me: I don't know

Dad: They are pimientos. Have you ever seen a pimiento tree?

Me: I don't think I have

Dad: That's because pimientos don't grow on trees

Thanks dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DistortedCarrot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2014
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I need a pun

Idk if this fits this sub, but I'm planning a Halloween costume and just need a punny name for it.

I'm going to wear timberland boots, camo cargo pants, an olive/brown/green/earth t-shirt, aviator sunglasses, and get a beer bandolier.

I need a solider/army/military + beer/alcohol/drinking pun to name the costume. Any suggestions?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lcg32195
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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Domino’s fucked up, but we still ate olive it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inDgenious
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
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When ordering dinner, my wife asked for no olives...

Waiter: Ok, we'll leave olive 'em off for you!

He thanked us for laughing, as he said he "usually just gets groans"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brewvarlet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
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