Husband: You said we needed a baby monitor!!
I said, “I know. I think that’s how soccer works.”
...I fell on my awt supplies and it went stwaight up my wectum"
Son: "what happened?!"
Dad: "this new vacuum is incredible"
But eye roll with it
My mother-in-law said, "God loved Saturn so much he put a ring on it."
And i immediately replied, "Then he must really love Uranus."
Me: No, but he ended up with a semi colon.
I said, “Well, a few people were crying, but I was fine.”
We were driving home the other day from a weekend of camping. Almost the entire drive home is through back roads and Country Roads and little towns... when we one of the many farms we drove by , there was a little river running through the farm and at least 50 cows lying down sunning themselves along the edge of the river.
I turned to my wife and exclaimed " that's a lot of ground beef!"
That's saucery
well, I am wearing sneakers!
my dad says, "Yes, my child?".
Details are sketchy.
I was talking to my dad just now about the legend of St George. He said, jokingly, that the knight did slay a dragon and I retorted with.
"Yeah, and allegedly a rose bloomed out of its blood,"
His reply? "Yup, allegendly,"
Dad:Did you know Bruce Lee never drank water? Dad: He drank WATAAAA!
I said, “Isn’t that how soccer is supposed to work?”
