I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/und88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What did the oak tree drop?

A-corny joke!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivory-Rose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Why didn’t the oak tree talk to anyone?

It didn’t want to dialogue.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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I live in an old neighborhood with a 100 year old oak tree. One day every year, all the kids in the neighborhood put all their boy/girl scout badges on the tree. One day, I wonder why the kids do this. So, I called up my dad to ask him, and he said...

"Oh, it's just a badge oak."

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kabirmain
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2017
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Watch out for that big oak tree over there...

It looks pretty shady.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GravelGuy666
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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For six days of the week, I appreciate oak trees.

The other day? That's a firs day.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebigeyedduck
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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What kind of tree is the best for blocking water?

An evergreen

πŸ‘︎ 338
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7bladesofgrass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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I asked my friend what an acorn was

He replied, "it's basically a small oak tree, in a nutshell."

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/23Silicon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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Three Dad Jokes on the way to school this morning.

So, we're driving up a tree-lined street where people often have wedding/family photos taken. It's lined with live oaks and is pretty beautiful. That prompted this conversation.

12 y/o daughter: Why do people sometimes get their wedding photos taken on train tracks? That doesn't make sense.

Me: Because they choo-choose to? [with a debt to Ralphie Wiggam]

6 y/o daughter (Loud groan): Papi, that's a terrible joke.

Me: So you think you could engineer a better one if I train you?

12 y/o: Dad why do you always make these awful jokes?

Me: Because I've got loco motives!

At that point I started laughing so hard I couldn't come up with anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2015
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What is an Acorn?

In a nut shell, it's an oak tree

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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Three little pigs

Once upon a time there were three little pigs, Pork Chop, Hambone, and Bacon.

The boys lived at home with their mother. One day their mother said, β€œI no longer have enough food to feed you boys, you need to go out on your own and find your fortunes.”

Not wanting to upset their mother they left the house together to seek their fortunes.

Several miles into their journey Bacon, the little pig everyone liked best, said, β€œLet’s build our houses here! This seems like a great place to start making our fortunes.”

Pork Chop and Hambone agreed. So they all began building their houses.

Pork Chop, the laziest of the bunch, decided to build his house out of straw, which he apparently stole from a nearby field. It was not a very sturdy building material, but Pork Chop didn’t care. All he wanted to do was play all day, and he didn’t want to spend too much time building.

Hambone was willing to work a bit harder and he decided to build his house out of sticks which he procured by de-limbing every tree within a 300 meter radius of their homestead.

Hambone and Pork Chop were happy. Now all they had to do was to play and sleep the rest of the day.

Now Bacon was a hard worker. He knew that his brothers had used bad materials and shoddy construction methods and he wanted to build the best house he could. He found several tons of bricks stacked in neatly ordered pallets in the forest which he decided to use for his building material. It took him several days, but when he was done Bacon had the best house on the homestead.

The next day a wolf, Scott Howard, happened upon the pig brothers and their new homestead. He spied the straw house and smelled Pork Chop inside and began to think to himself that Pork Chop would make a mighty fine meal, so Scott went and knocked on the door.

Scott said, β€œLittle Pig! Little Pig! Let me in!”

Pork Chop replied, β€œNo way JosΓ©! Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!”

Scott, undeterred by the reply says, β€œThen I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your crappy straw house to the ground!”

Scott began to huff and puff. He was evidently having some sort of asthma attack, but after a few tugs from his handy dandy rescue inhaler, he was able to muster enough wind to blow Pork Chops straw house to the ground.

Pork Chop narrowly escaped Scott’s massive jaws. Scared, and now homeless, Pork Chop ran for the nearest shelter he could see. Hambone’s house.

Scott, undeterred, chased Pork Chop to his new hiding place. Scott was very pleas

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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There was once a mole who loved oranges...

However, the mole couldn't reach them from the high trees and he struggled to climb them. Luckily, there was a tall giraffe who offered to help and got the oranges down for the mole.

The mole would go up to the giraffe every morning and ask him for some oranges. The giraffe would happily oblige but little by little he would get more irritated. One day, the giraffe finally got mad and told the mole to see the badger who could make a tool to help him get the oranges down from the tree.

The mole trundled over to the badger and asked him to make him a tool to help with the orange problem. The badger happily agreed to help and went into his shed. For a few days after: cutting, grinding and sawing could be heard coming from his shed when he finally emerged with a 4-pointed tool. He then proceeded to demonstrate the 4-point tool by sticking it into an orange and allowing the juice from which to drain down the arm of the tool.

The mole was extremely happy and excited by his new magnificent 4-point tool and showed everyone it's amazing capabilities. After a while, however, he realised he had shown it to pretty much everyone. Then he remembered the black cat resting under the oak tree. So he walked over to the tree and tried to show the black cat the 4-point tool. The cat said he couldn't see it properly and asked the mole to come closer. The mole took a few steps forward. Again, the black cat requested the mole to come closer and the mole cautiously stepped closer. Finally the black cat lunged forward and ate the 4-point tool.

The mole couldn't believe it and exclaimed, "Why did you do that?"

To which the black cat replied, "Oh haven't you heard? I am a 4-point tool eater Jaguar!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alecroc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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How to briefly describe everything about an acorn.

In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buglepost
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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During a trip to Canada, I participated in a maple syrup collecting workshop

I wasn't too confident in my tree identification skills, but my instructor said "Oak, aye.". My syrup sure did taste funny though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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Dad joked my mom today

While we were across the road cleaning up the fence line to get better access to the blackberries growing there was this one oak tree being strangled by vines and whatnot. Once we got it cleared up my mom said something to the effect of, "This poor tree was dying but I think we just saved it." I responded with, "Yeah, I think it was on it's last limb." The look on my mom's face was priceless.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agentalpha
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2014
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Simple yet great

We was in the front room by the fire where he was putting more wood on it.

Dad: You know what kind of wood this is?

Me: (trying to think of tree names) Oak?

Dad: Nope, tree wood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clayj9
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
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Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?

Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NicksterTV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

Well in a nutshell, it is an Oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharonb27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Define: Acorn

In a nutshell, it's a tiny oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Philboyd_Studge
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaizersozen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 154
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hawkmoona_Matata
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxVentroxX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn?

In a nut shell, it's an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/accountnumber3
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2017
🚨︎ report
Can i briefly tell you what an acorn is?

In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnbell
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn?

In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thafezz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the definition of an acorn?

In a nutshell, an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ollietheoctopus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
🚨︎ report
A brief explanation of an acorn...

In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaverb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report

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