Hey y'all, I have 2 box seats to tonight bull riding event at the fair. With the tickets, it includes the fair admission. I won't be able to make it down there to attend. Selling them at half the price for the pair, $30. Let me know if anyone is interested.
Heβs recovered now and stayed at Maimonides for a week. Apparently his artery was 90% clogged! Heβs Asian and pretty tall, 6 ft or so.
Anyway I just wanted to make this post and see if we could find the person who gave him CPR and tell him/her thank you at least.
Also you should definitely set your medical ID on your iPhone (if you have one) and have an emergency contact set up.
Iβm 20 and got diagnosed with heart failure after blacking out multiple times out of nowhere. Im underweight and can barely eat due to nausea and vomiting from poor liver function caused by bad blood flow from my heart. I have constant anxiety, shortness of breath, coughing, pain, chest tightness & stomach problems. I can barely hold my head up because my neck veins are swollen and tight. I canβt think properly, i canβt walk properly, i canβt go out, i canβt do much at all besides sitting as calmly as possible. I smell like fucking death because of muscle breakdown and canβt even walk without fainting at this point. My body is extremely tight all over and everything hurts. I take anti anxiety medication, a beta blocker and painkillers every day to manage my symptoms but it doesnβt help as much as i wish it would. I can never play sports again which was all i did before i got sick. Sports were my life.
I canβt look my mom in the eyes anymore because all i see is pain and hurt. I just want it all to end and i pray i die in my sleep every single night so my mom gets the relieve she needs. She has to take care of me almost 24/7. I canβt shower on my own because i faint. I canβt sleep alone because i choke when i lie down too flat due to fluid build up in my lungs. I canβt even dress myself without her help because my muscles are weak and i barely have any muscle left at this point tbh. I canβt fucking even enjoy a tv show because of the brain fog and constant anxiety my heart gives me. Just kill me honestly iβm so done. I am so done with my mind going crazy 24/7 and feeling like im suffocating when i sit down. I feel constant anger and irritability because everything is overwhelming. I hate my body.
Also i sometimes retain so much fluid i look like a damn balloon which is like the only positive thing about this because it makes my family and me laugh bc it looks funny.
Oh i canβt drive cars anymore either because it could cause a heart attack so iβm pretty much stuck forever. Rollercoasters are a no go now too which i used to love. My own damn heart is taking everything i love from me, pretty ironic
I have been going to therapy to try and deal with some very heavy depression. Iβve been talking to my therapist about growing up gay in the church and how much damage it has caused.
She asked me where I thought I had learned to feel responsible for others emotions, where I had learned my fear of judgement from others and where I had learned how to respond to the emotions of others with guilt and shame. My only real answer is that these are inherent values of being brought up in the church.
I deal with pain and stress in a certain routine. Iβll become depressed and hide out, disconnect from people and emotions. I think this scripture always stood out to me because it is how Iβve been taught to cope. Iβm not good enough, Iβm not worthy, I have not measured up to these fantastical standards that we like to call βgodlinessβ.
So where did I learn to feel responsible for others emotions? Maybe because my own thoughts and feelings were never my own. I was taught that my thoughts were from the Holy Spirit, my good fortune was from God, and my failings were my weaknesses harnesses by Satan.
Where did I learn my fear of judgement? Maybe because I was forced into a room with a Bishop who was given the power of discernment, a detective searching for my sins, whether they existed or not. Deciding my fate of worthiness.
Where did I learn to respond to emotion with guilt and shame? Maybe because I was taught I donβt exist. Being gay in the eyes of the Lord is just a test, and doing what feels very natural to me means Iβve failed. I canβt overcome the trials Iβve been given. Iβm wretched and weak and selfish in the eyes of the Lord and his greater plan for me.
Iβm curious to know how these questions resonate with others. I have been making good headway in therapy, but this subject feels very heavy. I hope this post can shed some light for others feeling the same way, but I mostly need help with feeling that Iβm not alone in this...
TDLR: Values in the church have taught me unhealthy coping mechanisms and habits. How have you learned to feel guilt, shame, and fear of judgement?
I'm a mess right now. I don't know how people do this.
Edit: thanks, all of you are amazing hoomans. Surgeon called, he's done and they're just closing her and getting her to ICU. Went well, possibly issues with her lung though. Not much longer till we see her.
Edit 2: she's in ICU, looking pretty good according to staff. Feeling more human now, thanks guys.
Edit 3: awake, moaning about boogers and watching movies. Looking heaps better now.
Hey first of all, I really appreciate a sub like this (but I fear I don't get an answer) as sometimes it's literally just one question you want to ask a professional but don't want to go all the struggle that an appointment brings with it.
So I'm 22 years old and in the past I've been dealing with some short blackouts in my heart. It doesn't come with pain or feels very alarming it's just that it feels as if my heart skipped a beat and then everything goes on as usual. I still have this but I don't freak out anymore as I've been to the doctor with it and he said everything looked fine. He x-rayed my heart carefully and also he put me under an exercise EKG. Everything was good, my blood pressure used to be very high (180/110 at times) but in the exercise EKG my blood pressure was actually very great, if not perfect. So they just noted it down as being part of my panic.
But lately I've been noticing that those heart-beat-skips stay longer than just one beat. It doesn't happen randomly, it comes with huge physical stress such as going to the gym and lifting more than usual. I feel my heart beating fast and so I constantly feel something like "emptyness" where my heart is. When I feel my heart beating (going to the chest with my hand), I don't notice anything. But every few seconds it feels as if my heart would beat into the void or anything. It's really a weird feeling and makes me rather stop my session. Other than that I don't really feel a pain or anything else, but I was sweating cold sweat (may also be due to panic dont know). I also experienced this when playing football or one time when I was drinking + eating very very fatty (it was like 2 minutes of this feeling). This is everything I notice regarding the longer phases of this, some random heart-beat-skips occur more randomly but it's never really more than one then. I also notice it almost everytime I get drunk. Whenever I start to get tipsy, I get exactly one of them but thats it for the rest of the night.
I'm quite an anxious guy so maybe I'm overreacting but I feel like an atrial fibrillation may be the case here. What do you think? I appreciate any words, most of the time I talked to doctors, it was just too much to say so I couldnt come up with everything and when I did, they were more confused than before. So it never really helped, talking to the doctors to be honest (even though being told that everything is OK was a great feeling!)
