The monk told him but sir, you have no arms, how will you ring the bell?
The man said, " just lead me to the bell and I'll show you."
So they walked up the long stairwell that led to the top of the belfry. Once at the top, the man walked over to the bell to get a good look at it. He then proceeded back up against the furthest wall and leapt into a sprint, face first into the bell.
He plummeted 65 feet below to his death. Tragically, no sound came from the bell.
When the police arrived an hour later, they asked the monk if he knew the man.
The monk simply said, "No. His face doesn't ring a bell either."
But wait, there's more...
The next day another man with no arms showed up at the monastery and told the monk "Yesterday the man who died here was my brother. This was his lifelong dream. If it's ok with you, I'd like to try just once for him."
The monk certainly couldn't refuse and slowly led the man up the long stairwell.
Once at the top the man walked over to the bell. He kissed the spot where his brother's face hit the bell just a day before and walked back to the edge of the furthest wall.
The priest watched in horror as once again a man hurled himself face first towards the bell, but at the last minute the man tucked his chin, stopped at the last moment and slammed his head into the side of the bell.
The bell rang with the loudest clang the countryside had heard in years. In fact, it was so loud the man cried out in agonizing pain, lost his balance and fell to his death below.
Once again the police showed up, and once again asked the monk if he knew the man's name to which the monk replied, "no, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
I'll show myself out.
Good night
well, that didn't work out.
I really need to work on my delivery.
(But seriously, I'm about to be a dad. My wife rolled her eyes at this joke then called me "loco".)
I guess they've become laughtose intolerant.
>!Because freedom rings!!<
Happy Memorial Day Weekend, thank you to all who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms β€οΈ
Ground beef
edit- thanks everyone for your contributuions of bovine based buffoonery, i will be shamelessly stealing all of them
I was being transparent.
"At the satisfactory!"
βDad, the Earth is 71 percent water, and nearly all of it is uncarbonated.β
(He really made this up. ONE OF US)
An edit for the doubters: He was drinking a Fanta and we were watching Prehistoric Planet together when he thought up the basic idea. I helped him with the punchline, because he was having trouble making it land (heβs 11, and more mechanically-minded than artsy, if you know what I mean, so he needed help on the phrasing).
Itβs not a super complicated joke, so of course itβs not new, but hey, heβs 11. Good job, kid.
In the bathroom, because then European, and in the hallway on the way to the bathroom because then youβre Russian.
Cigarette.
Because every morning you take them out for a drag.
We were pasta point of no return.
Dwayne
This is my first post on this subreddit yay
"Just put 24 carrots in it!"
Matt
A sitting duck.
A gummy bear
So I just packed up and right
They were all stuck with stalagtights
yes, I actually came up with that, and I'm ashamed.
"Oboy!"
because he was stuffed!
Whatever you like, he wonβt come to you.
Irrelephant
At the top of the hour, he would bang his face on the bell letting everyone in town know what time it was.
One night after ringing the bell he lost his balance and fell to his death on the sidewalk below.
When the police showed up, a few people were crowded around the body. One policeman asked the woman standing nearest the body, βDo you know who this man is?β
The woman replied, βNo, but his face rings a bell.β
Because there are too many cheetahs.
...oops. Never mind. Wrong thread.
https://preview.redd.it/w04wp3a8c8b91.png?width=526&format=png&auto=webp&s=2514fc9c83c876bb6db4ebd369bd6420c593bd81
I think we might be ricist
"Twirly!"
Nobody knows.
Because of the pastry-archy
He said, "You should never press your luck."
"I imagine heβll be given a tough sentence!"
it is a Comic Sans?
βBβ
Handy
A cattlesnake.
Ground beef.
