A list of puns related to "No Pressure"
I felt your presents!
The woman simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
No pressure.
Because there is no pressure
They asked, "Can you perform under pressure?"
I said, "No, but I can perform Bohemian Rhapsody."
There's no pressure in space.
Me: While I was in the shower the water pressure wasn’t right, and I noticed the tubing on the handheld shower head is bent out of shape.
Wife: OK. Are you going to fix it?
Me: Eventually. But I have to confess something. I went ahead and used it this morning the way it is. Are you upset?
Wife: Upset? No. Why?
Me: Well, I think most wives would be pretty mad if they heard their husband had been taking a shower with some kinky hose.
...and I noticed that the tire pressure was low. Me: Can you hand me some quarters so I can pump up the tire? Wife: $.75 right? Me: No, it’s $1.00 Wife: Really?? Me: Yeah, that’s inflation for ya Wife: 😒
This way there's no pear pressure.
Family and I went on a fancy boat tour of a local rich lake. The captain provided a running narrative over the intercom about the history of the houses, etc.
Captain: You'll notice all the piers look the same on the lake. There's no law governing that, everyone just agrees they should use the same color and materials. Some might call that "pier pressure."
Crowd: (groans)
Me: I think we need to dock him some points for that one...
Wife: (groans and pretends not to know me)
And he said “no, we work in a negative pressure business”.
I'm an EMT and I was doing paperwork. My partner walks up to me with the vitals of a patient. BP was done with an automated cuff. Me: What's the blood pressure? Him: 165/95 Me: That's odd, heart rate? Him: 77 Me: Odd, respirations? Him: 16, is that odd too? Me: No, that's even.
I found it hilarious.
So, Grandpa, you can't fly for a bit then? (He had eye surgery, can't fly due to changing pressure or something)
"Yeah, but mostly because I don't have wings"
No one else found it as funny as I did unfortunately
I was ordering pressure gauges and sent all the specifications to my vendor. Three inch face, 0-100psi, 1/4" npt thread......what do you have in stock? He replied back with no 1/4". So I replied, yeah that is my favorite Zeppelin song, what about the gauge.
My girlfriend was talking about how she's looking forward to going away and just having some time to herself with no external pressure.
I told her she'd still have to deal with 1 bar.
She looked confused.
I added: "1 bar of pressure".
She looked distressed.
Me: "Hey, have you guys heard of that new rapping toast?"
Them: "No, who?"
Me: "He crumbles under pressure and calls himself Ludacrust."
Them: Collective groans.
Fiancée: "You are way too proud of yourself."
Talking to a friend about possibly moving to California and earthquakes became a topic of conversation.
Her: Watch out for earthquakes though. No pressure.
Her: Sorry, I just get a little shaken up thinking about it.
Me: Don’t worry it’s not your fault
Then she didn't reply for a while.
Me: Did I crack you up? Are these puns resonating with you? Or are they just causing a rift in our friendship?
No pressure!
No pressure.
No pressure.
No pressure!
No pressure.
No pressure...
No pressure...
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