Night Time Puns

Dad: Pretending to be a dispatcher Yeah, she’s resisting arrest

Therapist: I’m glad that you are finally battling your Damons.

Another day, another Dawn.

He sleighed Christmas this year.

I have no idea why he grumpily said NO in german and walked off

Because she's an on-call-ogist

They said I had to many Loggins attempts.

Turns out it's illegal to Hasslehoff.

They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts...

I shouldn’t have told my dad what my username was.

I said, "whatever boats your float."

That movie was way shorter than I thought it would be.

It's just like cockwork!

It's in tents!

I'm an adult now, I can't keep on calling it sleepy snoozies time.

But then it dawned on me.

Took me to the park and ran 100m in 6.5 seconds!

...like Sir Lancelot wore when he was a baby."

I got him a Fosters, but he didn't like that, so I had it.

I tried him on Carling, but he hated that too, so I drank that as well.

Same thing with Guinness and Bitter.

I was doubling up on everything and he was happy with just fruit juice.

By the time we got onto the vodkas, I was too drunk to push his stroller home...

Hope they don't drop the ball...

He asked the waitress what beers were on tap, which included Blue Moon and Sam Adams seasonal. He said "it's not a special occasion, so I'll have the Sam seasonal." After the waitress left, I asked, it's your birthday, what special occasion do you mean? He said "I only have it once in a blue moon."

Receptionist at work had gone to get a glass of water from the bar. As she came around the corner stephen(the night Porter) was coming around at the same time. Startled, she said "oh jesus!" And without missing a beat he said "no, Stephen" and carried on walking. My admiration of the man rocketed.

Really, I had no choice. She was resisting a rest.

Another day, another Dawn.

They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts.