I got both of my sons at the grocery store recently

While choosing a frozen vegetable to eat with dinner I handed my oldest a bag of peas to place in the cart. He looked at them reluctantly. I asked if they wanted to pick something different. After neither boy answered me I said, "speak now or forever hold your peas."

Both sons AND a nearby stranger gave eye rolls!

EDIT: I've never been to the front page before. Thanks for all the love fellow dad jokers!

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👤︎ u/Pigman2728
📅︎ Mar 22 2015
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Movie theatre xpost

Several years ago my wife and I were the only two in a movie theater when an older guy (70ish) came in and very slowly moved to the row we were in and went to sit in the seat right next to me. I looked at my wife with a "can you believe this?" face.

Just as the guy's butt hit the chair he looked at us and said "gotcha!" Then sprang up and went to a seat several rows away chuckling to himself as if he does that all the time. Never said anything else to us, just loving his old man life and trolling strangers at the movies.

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👤︎ u/Spore2012
📅︎ Nov 11 2013
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