So no Dairy Heir?
My opponent called me a rookie
... now that I have given her the Corona.
My children groaned for considerable time, because I did actually infect them all with COVID, sigh.
… lots of Mercury
without missing a beat I said "You mean Lightning McClean!!??"
Everyone groaned. Dad joke accomplished
Because I refused to work on sundaes
She was really empressed!
[removed]
Now I want to break three.
Maybe it's lost i need to check
She said, “Could you be a little more pacific?”
I'm pulling an all-knighter.
GF: Hey, he's pretty good. What does he do now?
Me: Pushing daisies.
GF: What kind of job is that?
Me: A dead-end job.
The clerk apologized and said that the only rooms available had twin beds.
Disappointed, I remarked, "I don't know. We've been sharing the same bed for 44 years."
"Could you possibly put them close together?" my wife asked.
Several people nearby smiled, and someone commented, "How romantic."
My wife finished her request with, "Because if he snores, I want him close enough to be able to elbow him."
She looks me dead in the eyes and said 'the cold doesn't bother me anyway'
Hi five then walk away.
My mom's friend dropped her fitbit bracelet in the toilet. She said "well now you have a shitbit
