I’m planning a paint themed party for my friend, any paint/art themed puns I can use for the invitations?
Everyone loves my "moderately large business agreement" costume at this fancy dress party.
When I moved into my new igloo, my awesome friends threw me a surprise house-warming party...
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, “Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
My mate had a combined Burns Night and Chinese New Year party he called Chinese Burns Night
I wasn't going to go, but he twisted my arm
I gave my son a lid for his dip bowl that he was bringing to a party.
I wanted to make sure he didn’t have unprotected snacks.
My dad asked me to hand out invitations for my brothers surprise birthday party...
That's when I realised he was the favourite twin.
I met a woman once at a party celebrating my father's 50th birthday.
We got to talking and I found out she worked as a stunt double on some pretty big name movie sets. She looked to be at least 10 years my senior but very fit and attractive and we both seemed to really be hitting it off.
Because all the immediate family in the local area had thrown a smaller, more private celebration for my father a few days prior, I didn't really feel a need to stick around any longer, so I asked the woman if she was interested in sharing some drinks with me at the nearby Hilton where I was staying. She happily accepted.
Suddenly, I turned towards the sound of my father's voice cheerfully calling out the name "Andra" (pronounced ON-druh) and my own as he approached. Andra, the woman I had been speaking with, turned towards him, glanced quickly back at me, then looked back again at my father and with a disconcerted look on her face exclaimed, "Oh brother!"
And that's when I realized the double, Aunt Andra.
No one at my party was able to break the clown piñata.
My wife told me to pick up cheese dip for the New Years Eve party.
My 6 year old daughter set up a party and led me to the registration sheet. It said "Sine here". Now I am wondering if there is another sheet that says "Cosine there".
Sorry for going on a tangent
After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
Just happened. My kids are running around blowing a party noise marker. My wife's sister says " it sounds like an elephant in there"
I look up, straight faced, and calmly reply, "yeah, we don't talk about that.."
My wife buried her face for a good minute.. I'm proud of that one.
EDIT: I showed my wife how many ppl thought this was funny and she told me to say "please don't encourage him" .. :)
I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...
They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...
I knew there and then that she was the One!!
I lost my watch at a party on Saturday...
An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
I invited the local farmer and his horse to my son's birthday party
They quickly became the centaur of attention
I just tried on my Spider-Man pants for a costume party
They look great but the fly keeps getting stuck
I served a female deer with herbs to my family at a recent dinner party.
Calling it "Spit-Roasted Dill Doe" was maybe a little unwise
My dad didn't enjoy the Disco party
My son wanted a space themed party
So I made sure to planet.
It’s my birthday today and no party is planned due to pandemic. And my daughter said this to cheer me up.
“You will have your cake and eat it too.”
PS: this is the best gift I can get today.
People at our Christmas party were impressed when I showed off my incredibly detailed tattoo, but they didn't believe me when I tell them I got it done in Madrid.
Nobody expected the Spanish ink precision.
My brother and his wife won’t speak to me following their gender reveal party.
Apparently it refers to the baby.
My archeologist buddy invited me to a party. Apparently the entertainment was looking for leg bones in his backyard.
my party trick is swallowing two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my arse tied together....
We gave my Dad a birthday card that said he could party till the cows come home.
He said he utter-ly loved it!!
When I joined the local Grammar Nazi Party, they gave me their logo to put on my car. It's an upside-down, lower-case "e."
You know, a schwa sticker.
I went to a Halloween party with my geometry teacher
Her costume was really squarey
I burned my steak at my barbecue party today...
At my coworker's retirement party, I got up and said, "micro".
It meant very little to my retiring coworker.
So today I asked my wife if she knew of any krutches I could borrow for the upcoming office party.
Her: what are you supposed to be dressed up as?
Me: a walking dad joke.
Her: ...?
Me: I'd be kind of lame.
My wife said our son wants a space themed party
“So what should I do?” I say,
“Planet”
People used to describe my father as a real “Man’s Man” the type to get all the men talking at the party. However he never really spoke to me,
I guess to me he was more of a “Mime’s Man”.
I was at a party last night, waiting my turn to get to the punch bowl.
Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in.
Even between the laughing and joking, the women in front of me insisted that we swap places, so I could get mine first.
I thought to myself at last a decent punchline
We just threw my kid’s history teacher a birthday party.
I still don’t think he likes the present.
My Friend is going to a fancy dress party and said he's going to dress up as a small island off the coast of italy...
My neighbor threw a party for his pregnant cow...
There's a type of mushroom I bring everywhere, to dinner parties, bball games, work, they easily fit in my pocket
They're called portablebellos.
When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
My friends threw a house warming party in my new igloo.
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, “Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
After my son’s team won the soccer game, the goalkeeper invited us to his house for a party.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
After my son’s team won the tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us to a party afterwards.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
I lost my watch at a party once, turns out there was a guy harassing a woman while stepping on my watch. I went over to him a punched him, saying, “No one does that to a woman...
After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited us for a party afterwards.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, their goalkeeper invited both of us to a party to celebrate.
It was the father, son, and the goalie host.
After my son’s soccer game, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party afterwards.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
