Boyfriend's dad let this one go at the dinner table.

In trying to figure out the material of my boyfriends spiffy new jacket:

Mom: Could it be felt?

Dad: (Rubs jacket in between fingers) It is now!

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📅︎ Sep 30 2013
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My Grandfather

When my mom and aunt were in high school my aunt brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. She gave him a big list of things he couldn't ask him, "don't ask him about his family, his grades, his hobbies, his job..." So it was a pretty big list. Her boyfriend shows up and my grandpa looks at him and goes "So, have you ever been in prison?"

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📅︎ Oct 18 2013
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The importance of scales.

My mom's boyfriend and I were talking about weighing the new kittens and I walked into a joke.

Him: Put her on the weighing scale.

Me: What do scales do besides weighing things?

Him: Protect lizards and snakes..

Me: ...

Him: And make fish pretty.

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👤︎ u/ohhoneyno_
📅︎ Jul 18 2015
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