I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
Why do horses love unicorns so much?
Because they’re always horny!
First, I posted this on r/jokes but it didn't get much love. Then I realized I posted it on the wrong joke sub. Y'all love the punny jokes, so here you go:
Why are lamb chops a thing? Why do we have a food named after a baby animal?
Would you ever eat something called puppy steak? Or kitten burger? Or chick fillet?
oh wait.........
Credit goes to Matt from Studio C
These kitties love puns almost as much as napping, and the rise of the proletariat.
If you love Christmas so much...
I’m writing a song about how much I love seesaws.
It’s called 50 Ways to Love your Lever.
I love taking pictures of my son, so much most people call me
his personal 'Papa'razzi.
Why do ghosts love to eat health food so much?
Because it's super natural
Gandhi's Mum: How much do you Love me
Gandhi: From the bottom of Mahatma
I don’t know why I love bad puns so much...
This isn’t mine and I don’t know who made it, but it’s been on my phone for so many years and I haven’t seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
Why do nurses love red crayons so much?
Because sometimes they have to draw blood.
Americans love frozen fruit so much, they wrote it into the constitution...
The 1st amendment is the right to freeze peach.
I was telling my architect friends how much I love M.C. Escher.
They all gave me some weird stairs.
Why do Germans love beer so much?
Just wanted to say how much I love telling dad jokes
Unfortunately though he never laughs
Not my joke but I love this too much not to share
Shout out to anyone who doesn't know what the opposite of in is
when you love poems but you dont have much time
I love my local team so much I hang from the ceiling and spin around.
My daughter asked me for a recommendation for a good book. I told her I had the perfect book in my collection for her to read. It has drama, romance, betrayal, excitement, action, love, loss, heroes, villians, mystery and puzzles. Pretty much everything really. Excitedly she asked me for it.
I handed her the dictionary.
As much as I love Netflix, when I look at the presidents, I don't think orange is the new black.
My friend loves sheep so much he decided to propose!
"Will ewe marry me?" Said he.
"Baaah!" Replied she.
Why do teenagers love meat so much?
Because meat is Protein...I...I should go
I just told my best mate how much I love Beyonce.
She said 'whatever floats your boat'. So I said no, that's buoyancy.
Wanna know how much I love onions?
Dad: I very much love my arms. Do u know why?
Me: Why?
Dad: Because I'm very attached to them.
I love Gordon Ramsey, but not this much
My wife doesn't talk too much, but she LOVES to chat, so I'm joining a support group for compulsive talkers:
It's no wonder women love chocolate so much. Their pronouns give it away.
My father-in-law knows how much I love puns, so he gave me this game for Christmas
Why does everyone love birds so much?
Because they're impeckable
I'm in the middle of developing a new game. This guy came to life today and I just love his character so much!
I love water so much it f*cking makes me wet.
My friend loves fancy cheese so much it's almost religious.
You might say she has a personal relationship with cheeses.
Why do pirates love the letter p so much?
Without it they'd be irate
Why do UFOs love fields so much?
I guess they must be testing out their tractor beam!
If Keith Urban loves country music so much ...
Why doesn't he change his name to Keith Rural?
(From "The Glass House" TV series compendium book.)
I love onions so much,
that I cry whenever I have to cut one.
I went camping for the first time last night, and finally understand why people love it so much...
One day, Dracula gives his son “the talk”. He tells him, “son, when two monsters love each other very much...” The son interrupts him and says...
“They Mash!” “Yes son! They do the monster mash”
Rivers love the little rocks on their floor so much, they carry them everywhere they go. Riveres are incredibly sedimental
I don’t know why i loves bad puns so much.
It’s just how eye roll i guess
If you love Christmas so much then...
why don't you MERRY it!?!
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