A list of puns related to "Mr & Mrs T"
by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.
Found this on Twitter:
My pal, driving in fog, got pulled over. Cop says “What do we do when we encounter Mr Fog?”. My pal thinks “better humour him” so says “ We turn Mr Steering Wheel towards Mr Slow lane”. Cop says “No Sir, I said “What do we do when we encounter MIST OR FOG !”
But, I've had a few near Mrs.
is Mrs. Fire
Man, I was worried when Mr. Ed had to be hospitalized. But now I've heard he's back home and his condition is stable.
Without a doubt, mine is Mrs. Fire.
It was a near Mrs.
I said, “Thanks babe. You Mrs. Right!”
“It’s a pleasure to serve you, Mr. Hasselhoff”, said the bartender.
“Just call me Hoff”, he replied.
“Sure”, said the bartender, “no hassle”.
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
Looks like reindeer.
I think I’ll call it “Mr. Holland’s Opus”
Mrs. Ippi.
Mrs Claus: It's only rain dear.
Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.
Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.
Its Christmas eve and santa claus has forgotten to check the weather before his Christmas run . Just before leaving he asks Mrs claus "what's the weather like for tonight?" "Rain dear" she replies
European History.
H/t Mr Miller from 1982. This was how he started class.
The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.
The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Tennish
(RIP Mr Connery 😔)
Mrs. Carrot takes him to the ER and after a day of surgery, the doctor steps out and says, "Mrs. Carrot, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, we saved your husband. The bad news is, he's going to be a vegetable the rest of his life."
No more Mr. Knife guy
She Mrs. the net!
That’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit.
I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond.
Mr. E.!
(Came to me in a flash, totally whooshed my son unfortunately)
His name was Mr.Takeout (before he killed himself with a mysterious bullet to the back of the head)
"Hried hikhen! Hoh! Hoh!"
(shout out to my friend's uncle, Mr. Ghani, for this joke)
Who was taller?
The baby was a little Bigger.
Mr. Bigger went to the hydroelectric plant.
Now he's Bigger by a dam site.
Seriously, who is this Mr. or Mrs. Prouder?
Cliff Hanger... Or Mr Hanger if your being formal.
Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs cheering up.
So he dresses smartly, puts on his favorite aftershave and heads over to his friend's.
He gets to the party to find it quite a packed affair and heads over to the bar - fighting through crowds of reveller-onions - to get a drink.
As he gets to the bar, he notices in one corner a slightly out-of-place female onion.
She looks a bit sad and being the compassionate onion that he is, he heads over to talk to her.
This is quickly affirmed as a good move, as they hit it off immediately; she was abandoned by her friends shortly after arriving and had been minding her own business ever since, but over a night of drinks and talking, they quickly fall into an infatuation and soon end up spending an oniony night of passion together.
When they awake in the morning, they don't find it awkward and a steady relationship between the two is struck.
This lasts a good while, having its ups and downs like any college relationship, but eventually the day comes when they both graduate.
The two couldn't be happier!
They both get jobs close to one another and move into an apartment together.
One day, the partner-onion is anxiously awaiting the lawyer-onion at home.
She's been ill all day and checking has confirmed her suspicions.
She tearfully - and joyfully - breaks the news to the lawyer-onion; they're going to have a tiny baby-onion together.
A shallot, if you will.
A few days later, this prompts the lawyer-onion to propose to his heretofore girlfriend-onion.
They are soon wed, having a fantastic wedding-day and husband and wife-onions are on top of the world.
The day comes of the birth and no complications - a tiny, healthy baby onion is born to two proud parents.
Seeing this little bundle of oniony love in their arms causes them to fall deeper in love than ever.
Over the next few years, husband-and-wife-onions' lives are fantastic.
He's prospering at work, she's really enjoying taking some time to raise the baby-onion and over time the baby-onion grows into a hale and hearty toddler-onion, who then becomes a child-onion.
One day, the idyll of the onions' lives is shattered when tragedy strikes.
The lawyer-onion (now a partner-onion in a prestigious law firm due to chance and hard work) is at work, and mother-onion is washing dishes and watching her child play in the yard.
She glances away to take another plate and turns her vision back to
... keep reading on reddit ➡The bartender asks,"What will it be mr. Seal?"
He replies,"Anything but a Canadian Club!"
It's always been a Mr. Lee to me.
Found this gem on Twitter:
My pal, driving in fog, got pulled over. Cop says “What do we do when we encounter Mr Fog?”. My pal thinks “better humour him” so says “ We turn Mr Steering Wheel towards Mr Slow lane”. Cop says “No Sir, I said “What do we do when we encounter MIST OR FOG !”
But, I've had a few near Mrs.
but I've had a few near Mrs.
But I’ve had a few near Mrs.
But I've had a few near Mrs
....but, I've had a few near Mrs.
I said, “Thanks babe. You MRS. right.”
Me: Thanks babe. You Mrs. Right.
Me: Thanks babe. You Mrs. Right!
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