A classic Christmas movie
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ehnoscentteaya
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 31 2020
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Have you seen the new movie โ€œConstipationโ€? No?

Thatโ€™s because it hasnโ€™t come out yet

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SuperNova7039
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 14 2021
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My girlfriend asked if we could have an old movie night and watch โ€œGaslightโ€

I told her โ€œwe already watched that together, donโ€™t you remember?โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/vbloke
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 14 2020
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This movie rules
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Ha-Ka-Tu
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 28 2020
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An uplifting movie about an escalator
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/tenderyetfirm
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 29 2020
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Movie pitch: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues as the disease wipes out 99% of humanity.

Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/klwill1192
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 15 2020
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Good movie though
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/kingcaspr
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 24 2020
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I saw a great movie about databases.

I canโ€™t wait for the SQL.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/viky_boy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 25 2020
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Has anyone seen the new movie thatโ€™s playing in all the theaters?

Itโ€™s called โ€œCLOSEDโ€.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Esus9
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 31 2020
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So, they have just announced the tenth Fast and Furious movie...

Fast 10 Your Seat Belts.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 29 2020
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DC and Warner Bros are creating a new Wonder Man movie

They even got a new actor to play the main role: Guy Gadot.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/vagabondsadhu
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 14 2021
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A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.

The horse didnโ€™t feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. โ€œAre you sneaking outside food into the theater?โ€

The horse said โ€œnay.โ€

The pig squealed.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JiminyKirket
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 14 2021
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It IS a Christmas movie, dammit.
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Cecil_the_wonderdog
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 22 2020
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Why doesn't a schizophrenic get scared on watching a horror movie?

He knows that he is not alone.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Psychological-Bill76
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 07 2021
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Iโ€™m making a movie called constipation

I canโ€™t wait till it comes out

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/AshamedTurtwig
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 30 2020
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Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?

I can't remember the name but it's riveting.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Joey_the_Duck
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 02 2021
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Kind of a slow movie.
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RHamm7
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 23 2020
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My movie script went through a big change

Now its a trans-script

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TheAmazingSoSo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 24 2020
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Christopher Nolan, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey decide to make a movie together

Nolan says he will direct.

DiCaprio says he will act.

And McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write"

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Cheese_Junky
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 25 2020
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What's the favorite movie of dead people?

The Departed

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bonp27
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 20 2020
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Hugh Jackman is making a live action Frosty movie where he joins the circus!

Itโ€™s called The Greatest Snowman.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/whaddayagondo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 13 2020
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They actually made a KFC movie on the Hallmark channel

Itโ€™s suppose to be a romance but donโ€™t be surprised if thereโ€™s some Fowl play.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/loonmaster2
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 09 2020
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A bald man with a hairpiece needed the restroom during a movie.

He whispered to his date, โ€œI have toupeรฉ.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dusk118
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 14 2020
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If you watch a movie about ducks...

Is it called a duckumentary?

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/W33MAN01
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 02 2020
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Had the wife stop the movie to watch a quick clip. After she sat down I told her" You could cut the dogs feet off".

She said "I don't understand.....".

I said " UN-PAUSE".

I had to explain it to her...

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JJJoyce
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 30 2020
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What do you call a German racing movie?

Fast and Fuhrer-ious

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/True_DragonLord
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 09 2020
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I used to make artificial foliage for the movie industry,

until I got fired for barking up the wrong tree.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 22 2020
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Why was the writer kicked off of the movie set?

He was making a scene!

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DoomRulz
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 15 2020
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My favorite Hollywood movie has to be โ€œThe Curious Case of Benjamin Buttonโ€.

It never gets old.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 27 2020
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I asked Rick Astley to let me borrow his copy of the movie UP.

He said he'd never give it to me.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JoeFas
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 08 2020
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This is a movie I would legitimately watch.
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Kelly240361
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 11 2020
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Why couldn't the 11 year old get into the pirate movie?

It was rated R

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Hud_is_on
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 05 2020
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Did you know the name of the prequel to the best basketball movie ever?

Hoosier daddy

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mycorona69
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 04 2020
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If I told you I knew a convoluted joke about a golf club, a sheep, a stinging insect, a tree, and that scary clown movie...

Wood ewe bee leaf It?

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/AnInfluentialFigure
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 15 2020
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Joke from my great uncle: You know that movie "Constipation" that was supposed to come out this year?

It didn't.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Facist_Potato
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 30 2020
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Was watching a shark movie, when suddenly it ended unexpectedly

โ€˜Finโ€™

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/substantiallypartial
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 14 2020
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If Tetris was a movie

Itโ€™d be a blockbuster

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/AJ-Naka-Zayn-Owens
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 25 2020
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What do you call the protagonist of a dog mafia movie?

James Caanine.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/pvtsoab
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 27 2020
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Remember Spider Pig from the Simpsons movie? I figured out his secret identity!

Peter Porker

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/weird_al_yankee
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 05 2020
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I asked the movie theater attendant for one admission.

He said he liked wearing his wifeโ€™s shoes when she wasnโ€™t home.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/banditk77
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 14 2020
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I liked the Frozen movie ending...

It was warm and well thawed out.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 25
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/okayprobably
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 29 2020
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Did you know in Germany the Tom Cruise movie โ€˜The Firmโ€™ is the sequel to Die Hard?

Die Firma

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/maximumfunpriv
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 19 2020
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A James Bond movie from 1979
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Netcob
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 30 2020
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After watching Hubie Halloween I realized that every Adam Sandler movie takes place in the same universe.

Unfortunately, it's the one we live in.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/csteelatgburg
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 17 2020
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You probably havenโ€™t heard of that new movie, "Constipation"

It hasnโ€™t come out yet.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 52
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/professorf
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 30 2020
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I saw a great movie about databases today.

I can't wait for the SQL

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/farrukhsshah
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 19 2020
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